Self-Acceptance Leads to Confidence and Esteem

Acceptance of Self

Now that we have learned to forgive others and ourselves, we are ready to accept ourselves, which boots our self-confidence and self-esteem. We are traveling on the path of acceptance of self.

We have completed our performance appraisal, our self-appraisal, and we are now ready to make right any wrongs we have done. We want to do this so we can feel self-confidence, self-esteem. This will help us stay sober and get to emotional peace.

Along the path of accepting ourselves so that we may experience self-confidence and esteem, we may reflect upon who we were in our early days, when we had confidence, had a positive esteem. We may have been children then; I was. At least, I glean from my pictures of the era that I was a happy child when I was about three.

And I ask you, “Have we really changed throughout the years, or do we merely hold within our heart and mind and soul the essence of who we are, while our physical form changes? Can we recapture the delightful being we have always been, as we allow and celebrate our strengths, our flaws, and our spirit?”

What if the only change we’ve experienced throughout the years is an assault on our being by others, and then by ourselves, so much so that the self-confidence and esteem we had as a child have eroded away? And what if our being is waiting for us to reclaim who we are, with great self-confidence and self-esteem? 

So, how can we begin to fulfill the wishes of our being, to stop playing small, to step into who we are at our core? We just take action. We look at what is behind our playing small, our lack of confidence and esteem. If it is old messages that denigrate us, we know that those were lies, said by a spiritually sick person. We can think differently now about those disparaging remarks.

Then we practice honesty, and look at all our traits, both positive and negative. In other words, we do a performance appraisal. We apply compassion to the negative traits, and then set them aside, knowing that we have displayed our humanness. We focus on our positive traits, and we become humble, thanking Source for all the gifts which have been bestowed upon us.

And we begin to believe that Source gave us those gifts with the intention that we share them with the world around us. That means playing small no longer will work, and we must step into our full being, with confidence and esteem. We don’t want to flaunt, and practicing humility will counter that tendency.

All we want to do is to celebrate the talents and gifts we have been given and humbly present them to the world around us. When we do this, our self-confidence and esteem will rise. Staying sober will become easier and more desirable. We will become more accepting of ourselves. We will be that much closer to emotional peace and serenity.

Today, practice stepping into all that you are. Accept who you are at your very core. Apply compassion for being human. Identify your special gifts and talents, and celebrate them with your world. Bring back that self-confidence and esteem that have been absent from your life for so long… Accept yourself at a deep level of knowingness…

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Feeling Worthless

Corner of Worthlessness

Do you struggle with feeling worthless? Of no use or value to others, to yourself? Do you hold yourself in low esteem?

This was me for most of my life… feeling useless to others and of no value, a self-esteem that was non-existent. I felt like a heap of debris in the corner, in the shadows. When it reached its maximum, it manifested for me as listlessness, inability to raise my energy to move forward, to work on projects, to eat. Often, I went from feeling worthless to feeling despair… what’s the point in living? At this point, I prayed to die.

I have struggled for years in sobriety with the issue of feeling worthless. What has worked for me when these feelings arise is to hold myself in positive regard, to review all of the ways in which I have been useful to others. Sometimes, I have to purposefully focus on my assets. I have needed help from friends and a therapist to do this, as well as the use of medication to treat my diagnosed major depression.

It took me a long time to be willing to take medication. That helped when I did. But the real thing which has helped in my feelings of worthlessness has been to help others when I am feeling this way. After I have helped someone, I feel more self-value, more self-esteem and I begin to feel like I am worth something.

We are all worthy as human beings, simply because we are here. If you are feeling worthless, there is help available. It might be beneficial to list out the ways in which you are good, things about yourself that you like. If you can find nothing, talk to someone and get their positive feedback about you. Second, there is help from a friend or therapist. Third, there is prayer to whatever or whomever you turn in times of need.

Whatever way you choose to get help, I applaud your efforts and wish you well. Remember, you are worthy simply because you are here.

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The holidays are upon us and I want you to be aware that I am offering a holiday special on my book. Currently, through Jan 2nd, it is $25.00, including shipping and tax for California residents. Order from the website or call 415-883-8325 to order directly.

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Feeling Worthless – 4 Steps to Moving On

I was going to move on from the topic of feeling worthless, and then got an email comment from a friend. He raised a valid point, which I would like to share with you.

First, however, I’d like to explain to those of you who are new to my blog what I am doing. I am walking through my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart, topic by topic, as each appears in the book. There are forty-two topics or titles for the images. All together, they tell a story  – that of my personal journey through the gates of despair to joy and peace.

Each title/topic deals with a common human emotion, a principle of living or a way to treat others and myself.

I have preceded the title/topic discussions with six posts about how the book was birthed. It’s quite an amazing story and will lend new awareness to the story as it unfolds.

The point which was brought to my attention was that the gate, Corner of Worthlessness, is down the street from the Gate of Denied Approval. He went on to say that when we did not receive approval or unconditional love, it is difficult to dispel those feelings of worthlessness which arise from that lack.

Even though some of us, as adults, have wrestled with those feelings, and resolved them, they tend to arise occasionally to haunt us. He felt I seemed to have licked this problem. And, to a large degree, I have.

I used to have huge self-worth problems, however, which is why it appears in my book as one of my emotions. Some days, I slide into that morass. Usually these days, though, I don’t feel worthless. How is that, you may ask? I went through a process whereby:

  1. I first identify that I am feeling worthless. (It has taken years to learn that that is what I am feeling…)
  2. I talk to someone about these feelings; I let them out instead of bottling them up.
  3. I ask the Powers That Be, the Universe, to take these feelings from me.
  4. And, I remain willing for this to happen.

These days, that happens; I am freed from the feelings of low self-worth. It took a long time for this to happen, however, as first my esteem had to strengthen, as did my confidence. Perhaps it happened like that so my continued feelings could be of use to someone else. I don’t know.

So, on to the next topic with the next post. Meanwhile, you can view the photos in Opening the Gates of the Heart here.

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