Feeling Worthless

Corner of Worthlessness

Do you struggle with feeling worthless? Of no use or value to others, to yourself? Do you hold yourself in low esteem?

This was me for most of my life… feeling useless to others and of no value, a self-esteem that was non-existent. I felt like a heap of debris in the corner, in the shadows. When it reached its maximum, it manifested for me as listlessness, inability to raise my energy to move forward, to work on projects, to eat. Often, I went from feeling worthless to feeling despair… what’s the point in living? At this point, I prayed to die.

I have struggled for years in sobriety with the issue of feeling worthless. What has worked for me when these feelings arise is to hold myself in positive regard, to review all of the ways in which I have been useful to others. Sometimes, I have to purposefully focus on my assets. I have needed help from friends and a therapist to do this, as well as the use of medication to treat my diagnosed major depression.

It took me a long time to be willing to take medication. That helped when I did. But the real thing which has helped in my feelings of worthlessness has been to help others when I am feeling this way. After I have helped someone, I feel more self-value, more self-esteem and I begin to feel like I am worth something.

We are all worthy as human beings, simply because we are here. If you are feeling worthless, there is help available. It might be beneficial to list out the ways in which you are good, things about yourself that you like. If you can find nothing, talk to someone and get their positive feedback about you. Second, there is help from a friend or therapist. Third, there is prayer to whatever or whomever you turn in times of need.

Whatever way you choose to get help, I applaud your efforts and wish you well. Remember, you are worthy simply because you are here.

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  7. Oh, Ashley, I am so sorry I missed your comment. I hadn’t gone back far enough to check for them. That’s pretty interesting you remember the age things changed to feeling worthless. That’s a young age to identify it. Do you recall any incident that led to the change? When they put me on anti-depressants, I had to change them a time or two to find what was right for me. Maybe your zoloft isn’t helping, or maybe it’s interacting with the medication you take for your ADD. I know what you mean about therapy making it worse. I went to a guy once who was actually trying to do tough love on me when that was not what I needed. He was on the verge of abusive verbally. It took me a while to realize that arrangement was detrimental to me and that I needed to walk away. When I did, I skipped therapy for years, until I was so despairing over my ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholic – and abusive – parents) issues and the fact that I had no worth that I had to, once again, look for therapy. So I went to them, a clinic for low income, and told them what I was looking for in a therapist. The first that called me back did not know what ACA was. I wouldn’t accept her and, in fact, think I got angry at them for wasting my time with an unqualified therapist for my issues. Then, one came along that, after time, I began to trust and, after time, she helped me a tremendous amount. I tell you this story in hopes that you are encouraged that there is a therapist for you out there to fit your needs. It might take some searching… I wish you well in your struggle to find your value and worth to the world and to yourself. I pray that things change for you soon. Take care, cj

  8. I’ve been feeling this way since I was 8 years old. I’m now 21 and I don’t feel the need to live. I’m on Zoloft (an anti-depressant) and Adderall for my ADD. I’ve tried therapy, but it’s made it worse.

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