Good morning, all! Once again, the morning got away from me yesterday and I had to leave for work for the day before I blogged. I really don’t like people coming to my site to find my blogs and not finding a new each day. Yet, there is a wealth of information to keep visitors busy.
How to develop tolerance was searched for three times yesterday and today, so I thought I’d write my thoughts on that. The definition in Webster that fits my belief of tolerance is to recognize and respect another’s ideas or beliefs without sharing them. The definition goes on to say, to bear or put up with something that is not especially liked.
I suppose tolerance boils down to one saying that is a good motto to follow, and that is, “live and let live.” If we pay attention to our own affairs, and allow others to pay attention to theirs, we are that much closer to practicing tolerance. This assumes, of course, that the other is not being a harm to themselves or others. When they are being harmful, we do not tolerate that behavior or action.
If we dislike what someone believes in or is saying, then we can remove ourselves from the situation. What if we can’t? For example, I disliked the verbal abuse I was enduring as handed out by my now ex-husband. I couldn’t leave at the time. I wasn’t strong enough emotionally. Yet, it was a choice to stay in the marriage. And, I tolerated the abuse.
In retrospect, I see that I could have made good on my threat to leave much sooner than I did. I also could have employed lots of self-talk while being verbally put down, by building myself up, telling myself what he was saying were lies, that what he was saying was a reflection of his insecurities. Much easier said than done!
In the end, when we have the strength to do so, we can remove ourselves from the vicinity of someone whose opinion and actions we do not like and thus, tolerate them, while still taking care of ourselves. We allow them to be themselves while, at the same time, we respect and tolerate our own views and opinions.
Tolerance has to do with ourselves, also. We need to learn to tolerate our foibles and failings, accept them, and then move forward to correct them. We have the power to change ourselves and our behaviors, actions, and beliefs, and we can exercise that power.
When we act in such a manner, we end up finding peace-of-mind. How do you tolerate those people in your life that you find disagreeable? Have you tried any of the things I’ve suggested here? How did it work for you? Leave a comment and let us know.