Tolerance Adds to Our Sobriety and Peace

Practice of Tolerance

Today’s topic is practicing tolerance of others. Tolerance is the ability to recognize, respect, allow, and permit another’s values, beliefs, and practices, even if we don’t like them.

However, if one is treating us with disrespect or abuse, we do not tolerate that behavior. If that is us being disrespectful and abusive to another, we do not tolerate that behavior in ourselves; rather, we attempt to change that about ourselves.

Similarly, we do not tolerate abuse and disrespect that we dole out to ourselves, as that denigrates our spirit. We learn how to be respectful of ourselves, and we go to whatever length we need to, in order to accomplish this. We engage in such activities as journaling about it, talking to another, or seeking counseling. 

The thing about tolerance that is freeing and that adds to our sobriety and our path to peace, is that once we learn to tolerate others, we no longer feel like we have to defend ourselves and who we are. We can live and let live. 

In our practice of tolerance, we can even get to the point of finding another’s differences interesting, exciting, as we recognize the added richness those differences bring to our lives. 

We even discover that another’s differences do not diminish our own value. We no longer need to compare ourselves to others.

Today, practice the art of tolerance. Experience that gentle feeling and warmth toward others that comes when you do. If in an intolerable situation, consider moving away from it, emotionally or physically. When you practice tolerancefeel how you are freer, more settled in sobriety, on the pathway to peace.


Learning to Cultivate Differences Can Lead to Healing Emotional Pain

Cultivation of Differences

Perhaps the most notable difference you can cultivate is that with people of different color. In this photo, I make a strong statement about that difference. You can learn that people are just people, with the same fears, insecurities, and desires to be liked that you experience. We all bleed the same color of blood, have the same internal organs; the skin is just a covering of that which is similar in nature.

Along with differences in color, you will find people with differences in customs. Learning and celebrating these differences provides a delightful tapestry in your life, adding richly to your own customs.

Then there are differences in beliefs. I am not advocating that you cultivate differences when they are harmful to yourself or others, but, rather, when they enhance your sphere of belief. For example, people who pray to a different source than you can be considered fascinating. Just because they are different than you does not mean you must be defensive about what you believe. Your beliefs are just as valid.

When you cultivate differences with those that are different than you, a whole other world opens up. For example, I used to frown upon, and yes, even look down upon, people with tattoos. Then I got into sobriety and started learning to accept others as they are. What I discovered was that the most beautiful words came out of the mouths of people with tattoos, just like those that came out of the mouths of people without them. My whole outlook changed and I relaxed around them, letting them be, enjoying their words.

As you cultivate the differences you find in the world, it lends to your healing emotional pain, as you will find that you are more tolerant and respectful of your differences. It leads you to accept yourself more, celebrating your uniqueness. This helps heal a wounded psyche. What are the differences you can start cultivating today in your life?



Developing Tolerance For Ourselves and Others


Good morning. I find it interesting that, having blogged about judgment, other experiences happened that got me to look at the way I judge things. It’s as if it shows up everywhere as a means to look at my thoughts and judgments, and to heal from them, to ask for help to correct them.

For example, after my last blog, I was on hold on the phone for a long time and there was music playing. I noticed that I was judging it… “this is too chaotic and irritating,” or, “this is mellow and soothing.” It was that continual litany of judgments I referred to in my last post. I do this when I am around people, also. A continual assessment of what I like or dislike. Do you do this?

Practice of Tolerance

At first I was appalled, and then I had to smile, realizing that I can just notice my thoughts and say to myself that I don’t wish to be so judgmental. I have to, actually choose to, look at myself with tolerance. And that is today’s topic… tolerance. Certainly, I am a supporter of being tolerant of others, and especially of their differences, but I wish to focus on tolerance for ourselves.

There has to be a distinction between tolerance for bad behavior, i.e. hurting another or ourselves, and I don’t think we should tolerate that. But we can still look at bad behavior and say to ourselves we no longer wish to do that, and then ask for help from Source to dispel it.

I’m referring to just sitting with our thoughts and tolerating them, bringing ourselves to awareness for having negative thoughts, rather than beating ourselves up. I don’t think that solves anything other than making us feel badly about ourselves.

So the next time you find you are having thoughts or acting in a manner that disturbs you, take a minute to just reflect upon it, and offer yourself tolerance. Not excuses… just tolerance. Then ask for help to change that from the source that guides you, and see what happens.



Practice Tolerance

Practice of Tolerance

toleranceI have the most difficulty being tolerant of others when I am feeling inadequate, insecure, and uncomfortable with myself.

Yet, when I am able to look beyond the imperfections of others, I discover great beauty and worth in those around me. And, I discover that another’s value does not diminish my own.”

Realization that another’s attributes did not diminish my own was a key to my ability to be truly tolerant of others. Now, at this point in my healing, I can be temporarily uncomfortable with myself, feeling “less than,”  still practice tolerance of others and even have the desire to acknowledge them for their accomplishments.

I find it interesting that while I am getting ready to blog about tolerance, I have an experience that tests my ability to be tolerant. I was traveling west on a windy, hilly road, enjoying driving the curves, when I came around a curve to find a large tandem trailer dump truck in front of me, going about 10 mph.

My driving enjoyment came to an immediate halt. Naturally, I was irritated, as I realized there would be no way to pass him on this prolonged incline.  In the moment, I made the conscious decision to grant the truck permission to be on the road. I told myself he had just as much right to be there as I did. Suddenly, I was tolerant of my position behind him and was content to crawl along.  Instead of anger and impatience, I felt peace and contentment. This is grace…

I believe tolerance and judgment go hand-in-hand. When I am not judging another, I am able to tolerate and appreciate one’s differences. And choosing to be tolerant of others leads me to be more non-judgmental of them.  Since adopting this attitude, I have gotten to know some delightful people that I never would have met before. What about you? How do you practice tolerance?