How Are You Doing on Your Self-Appraisal?

Good morning everyone! : ) I wish for you each a fabulous Friday, filled with much light and joy!

Since yesterday’s post was so long, I want to keep today’s much shorter. If you made it all the way through yesterday’s, bravo and thank you for sticking through it to the end.

I am curious how it all sat with you, how you took it. Many people are scared to death to do a self-appraisal and procrastinate doing it out of fear. They believe that what they will find is a hollow and empty self, or an inherently bad person. These could not be farther from the truth, though.

When I first did a self-appraisal, I was newly sober and was anxious, to say the least. I was sure I would find this bad person. After all, that’s what I’d been told all my life, right? That I was worthless, would never amount to anything, that I was fat, stupid, and ugly. These were horrible messages to hear and they scarred me badly.

So it was with much trepidation that I looked at myself. At first, and for many months, all I could see was my negative. I had no idea what-so-ever how to be loud and proud about who I was. After all, there was nothing to be proud about. Nonetheless, I set about doing my self-appraisal.

And I mean to tell you, the effect was astounding. At first, I felt deeply ashamed, but later, after talking to someone about what I had discovered, I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. Over the years, I have repeated the process, repeated my self-appraisal, and today I can list out my positive qualities without shame or hesitation. I have become a whole person, I think, and the self-appraisal was a huge part of why that occurred.

My whole point in saying all of this is to offer you hope if you are hesitating in doing this exercise. Know that you will be heartened and filled up, not disheartened and beaten down. I recommend doing the positives first for a very specific reason – to counteract all the negatives you may have been told while growing up. If you have no such negatives, I am so happy for you, for you are truly blessed. Then listing your positives will flow easily onto the page.

One thing you could try, which I forgot to mention, is printing the list with your non-domiinant hand. That will cause you to tap into the “other” side of your brain, and all sorts of deep things will flow out without restriction.

So, my heart is with you each as you embark upon your self-appraisal. May it be an enlightening and happy experience for you.



The Merits of a Self-Appraisal

Good morning to each of you and happy day. It is the wee hours of the morning and I just popped awake, so here I am. : ) Today, I am going to respond to the search term “the merits of self-appraisal.”

In my experience, doing a self-appraisal is the key that has allowed me to move to inner peace. Although difficult at first to look at myself, doing it has become a routine occurrence. By doing a self-appraisal on a regular basis, it keeps me on top of the things that I need to correct in my life, in other words, my behavior and my thoughts. And it allows me to see and acknowledge my goodness.

I have found that doing a self-appraisal leads to inner peace and emotional freedom because I am “clean,” my motives are pure and less selfish in nature. Also, if I have done something to offend someone, I can right that in the moment that I do the appraisal. And, by seeing my goodness, I am not so hard on myself, do not beat myself up so much.

One of the great benefits of doing a self-appraisal is that it paves the way to forgiveness, which leads to the creation of more inner peace and emotional freedom. It keeps a check on me getting angry at others for doing the very same thing I am doing, and if I get the ball rolling in a disagreement, it allows me to see that.

A self-appraisal allows me to keep abreast of what I am telling myself about myself… in other words, my negative self-talk. When I engage in this, I can correct it right then and there.

There is such a feeling of freedom when you incorporate a self-appraisal into your everyday life, your everyday happenings. At first, listing out my behaviors was difficult and I did so with great shame. Over the years, however, I have learned to see my negative behavior with compassion, as I was a wounded person at the time I committed whatever I committed.

That is not to say compassion is an excuse to not be responsible and accountable for my behavior. Oh, no. I need to own my negative behavior. The beauty in owning it is that I feel pure when I have done so. It is a practice in humility rather than shame. It allows me to remember that I am a fallible human being.

These are just some of the merits of a self-appraisal. Try it yourself and you’ll feel lighter, brighter, more at home with yourself. If you want to learn how to do a self-appraisal, join me tomorrow as I describe, step-by-step, how to do one.