What Resonates With Your Heart?

Pillar of Strength

“Perhaps, rather than thinking I must make my morals, truth, and integrity match another’s, I can determine what resonates with my own heart. When it does, I have the strength of a pillar.”

We spend a lot of time trying to be liked, to be accepted by others. It is a basic need, perhaps, as social beings. Sometimes, we try so hard to fit in, that we forego our own beliefs, morals, and integrity in favor of adopting another’s. This is most often an unconscious behavior. Yet, it hurts our soul when we give it away in such a manner.

To change our truth is to betray ourselves to ourselves. It is, perhaps, the ultimate way to negate our being, to negate the very core of who we are. For it is in our morals, our integrity, that we shine as individuals. They make us who we are, show what we believe in and stand for. They are part of what makes us, us.

Why do we change our morals, integrity, and truth? What is behind this behavior? Perhaps, it is a reflection of our insecurity, not having a firm like, or love, of Self and who we are. This leaves us unable to stand up for our beliefs. Perhaps, we do not even KNOW our beliefs, have never examined them, have always adopted someone else’s truth.

In either case, the issue can be resolved by doing a self-appraisal and flushing out things like our morals, our truths about ourselves and what we stand for. We tend to look within and only find our faults, our weak and not-so-nice points. Do that first, if you must, yet, do not forget to list your positive qualities and attributes, the things about yourself that make you the unique and delightful person you are and are meant to be to the world. Show kindness to yourself as you embark upon this task.

Go ahead. I dare you. If you are honest with yourself, you will find there are many redeeming qualities about you for which you can show appreciation and respect to yourself. I am not talking about flaunting what you find. Rather, I’m talking about relishing this information about yourself and being humble about what you find.

I am talking about being so strong in your convictions and who you are, that you do not waver in your approach to the world; you stand for what you believe in with every encounter, and within. When you are able to do this, you will have an inner strength, the strength of a pillar, and you will find peace.

What resonates with your heartf?


How to Manage Feeling Worthless

Corner of Worthlessness

I try and try to climb to the light of my being, yet, I cannot scale the wall of my worthlessness. So I collapse, again, in the shadows…

a heap of broken debris in the corner.

Feeling worthless. One of low self-esteem, loss of self-respect. The feeling that no one appreciates your efforts, that you do not matter to anyone, or to very few. Nothing you do is good enough, so why bother? Just writing about it brings an energy-draining feeling.

From there, feeling worthless often leads to self-pity, which can generate shame for having those feelings. Many numb these feelings with the use of drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating… In the most drastic cases, these feelings lead to suicidal thoughts and, sometimes, actions.

Where does it originate? Some say it stems from the early, formative years, if one repeatedly hears they are defective, not good enough. Yet, one can develop feelings of worthlessness if in a bad relationship, for example, where one endures continual put-downs, degradations. The words heard become adopted as our own and we continue to degrade ourselves; we don’t need others.

How would one manage feeling worthless? It is said that doing esteem-able acts is a way to increase one’s self-esteem, and thus, decrease or resolve those feelings. One might also discover their calling, whereby their actions are geared toward fulfilling an identified purpose. Often, one’s purpose is useful to others, which raises one’s self-esteem and self-respect.

Counseling of some sort to resolve those underlying feelings can be very useful and yield a positive self-esteem and self-confidence, thus, minimizing feelings of worthlessness.

Doing an honest inventory of yourself and your skills can lead to the realization that what was told to you was not true, that you do have many assets and many positive attributes.

Feeling worthless is so damaging to our spirit. It leads us to dangerous places in our mind and heart. The degrading things we were told or that we tell ourselves is not who we are. We are all delightful beings, each with specific skills and strengths. Learn those about yourself. Above all, be gentle with yourself as you heal.