Good morning to each of you and welcome back to our forgiveness challenge! Today, you will look at your not-so-good actions, behaviors, and qualities. This is necessary in order to determine if you did something to get the ball rolling in the resentment.
Got ready to make two more lists. First, list out your not-so-hot qualities, the things upon which you want to improve. Be honest with yourself. Know that we each have a side of undesirable traits.
Then, consider the past week. List out all the not-so-desireable things you said and did. See all of this objectively, without getting upset over your areas that need improvement. In fact, look at what you identify as just that – areas needed for improvement.
Now, think about the person with whom you have a resentment, an anger, and consider the following two points:
- Do you do the same thing that the other person did for which you are angry? In other words, are you angry about something that you, yourself, do? If you can honestly say yes, then you need to drop your resentment and realize that you and the other person are fallible human beings. It helps to laugh at yourself…
- Explore the beginning of the hurt which you resent. Then consider, did you get the ball ruling? Did you say or do something that was not-so-nice, to which the other person reacted like any normal human being would, in a predictable fashion? If you said or did something mean to John and John reacted by doing something which then hurt you, recognize that you got the ball rolling; you started the whole disagreement. In this case, it is time to become humble. See yourself as a fallible human being. Drop your anger and resentment and apologize, if needed. Don’t forget to give forgiveness to yourself.
This part of the process can be difficult and you may be tempted to brush off your negative behavior. I would caution you not to do that, and urge you to look with honesty and humility at your behavior. If you are having difficulty conducting this part of the self-appraisal, or in looking at the role you played in the whole resentment, I am available for coaching you through it. That’s what I do. Simply call me at 415-883-9325 to schedule a time to talk. Or, email me at email@example.com.
I wish you well with this part of the forgiveness process, and hope that you can put what you illuminate to good use.