Being Judged by Others, Even Though They’re Flawed

Good morning! So sorry I missed yesterday. My computer would not allow me to access the back end of the blog, so I couldn’t write the blog. Today, it is cooperating… The search phrase I picked out is being judged by others, even though they’re imperfect themselves, even though they are displaying negative behavior.

It is my belief that we are being judged by others when they feel insecure and unsure about themselves. They are blowing out our light to make their light shine brighter. They feel “less than,” and putting us down builds them up – in their mind. The thing is, if we’re wise to them and their method, they don’t have to be built up. In fact, if we realize they’re putting us down to build themselves up, we can stop their behavior in its tracks.

We can bring to the attention of others that they are judging us negatively and to stop that behavior. Of course, this will most likely bring on a confrontation. None-the-less, speaking up against the verbal abuse is an option. When we are being judged by others, we can also just ignore what they say, knowing the reason behind their judgment. This is known as turning the other cheek.

So, we have a choice here and it depends upon the situation. If we are likely to enrage the other person who is judging us negatively, putting us in a dangerous situation, we may wish to just know deep within that what they are saying is not true. If, on the other hand, they are rational, and a conversation can be had in which we can bring up their judgment of us, then we will want to do so in the hopes that they can see their behavior and alter it.

In any event, know that when we are being judged by others, they are actually reflecting how they feel about themselves, and we would do well to not take it personally. If we do take it personally, we will likely develop anger and resentment toward the other person. I did this with my father when I was growing up, for the verbal abuse he slung my way. It took me 54 years to get past that to an understanding of his pain, and to get to forgiveness.

How do you treat others when you are feeling less than and insecure about who you are? Do you judge them harshly?

In closing, I have two points: First, I will be hosting the radio show W4CY.com every Monday afternoon at 3 pm PST. The name of the show is Transform Into Forgiveness. I imagine we will have discussions about how to get past being judged by others.

Second, I am starting two support groups called Opening the Gates of Your Heart. These groups will be in the San Francisco Bay Area in Marin and will focus on getting through grief and past resentment to forgiveness. Group one will meet every 2nd and 4th Monday from 10-11 am PST, starting February 11th. The second group will meet every 2nd and 4th Thursday from 1:30-2:30 pm, also PST, starting February 14th.

Both groups will run for 3 months and cost is $35 per month. Both groups will meet at the Wells Fargo Bank in San Rafael, 1203 4th Street, 2nd Floor, 94901. There is parking in the rear of the building, and you would go through the double doors in the rear. Take the elevator to the 2nd floor. For more information and to register, call me at 415-883-8325, or email me at carolyncjjones@yahoo.com.  

 

 

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Tips For Moving Through Fear

Yesterday, after describing how the book was created, I talked about the two year time period when I dealt with the fear of exposing myself and my deepest journaled thoughts to the world by publishing my book. It took slow and steady coaching by someone who has grown to be a dear friend. What follows today are the ways in which I moved through that fear.

When you present yourself to the world in whatever manner, it is not unusual to experience the fear of exposing yourself. Perhaps you are afraid of being judged, rejected, ridiculed, or belittled in some way. The reality is, one or all of these things may happen, especially judgment or rejection, and it is easier to handle them if you are prepared.

How do you move through that fear of letting others see who you are , knowing of the possible consequences? It is helpful to focus on loving and serving others, instead of focusing on the fear and possible consequences. Focus on the fact that what you have to share is valuable to others and that you are depriving them to live a full life by withholding your light.

I recently learned in a seminar that in the first three to five seconds, we are judged on eleven points. This is just human nature. To get through the fear of encountering these judgments, understand that the judging will occur. So might rejection. Accept this. Allow your desire to shine in the world be stronger than caring what others think of you. Focus on the tips I mentioned above.

Accept that what others may think of you may not be who you are at all, and find the courage to proceed past the point of fear. Focus instead on your message, on what you want to present to your world, and the use it will have for others. Concentrate on that as you take action, but take action. You may find that once you begin to move forward through the fear, it is not as bad as you thought, and you will likely gain strength to keep on moving.

In the case of being ridiculed or belittled, move away from those that would do this to you. You do not need to tolerate belittlement or ridicule. No one is deserving of that behavior from another. Move away, hold your head and heart high, and keep moving forward into your Being.

I am hopeful that you are able to get the courage to show the world who you are. If you have been having difficulty letting others see your Being, letting them see who you truly are, and you try any of these tactics, I’d love to hear how they worked for you.

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