How to Open Your Heart More

“How to open your heart more” was searched for 4 times yesterday morning, so I thought I’d address that. I apologize for no post yesterday… I started this and the day got away from me before I could develop the blog. So, here we are today, in this moment, and let me write about how to open your heart.

The first thing needed to open your heart is willingness to do so, willingness to go there. Once you are willing, the whole world opens up, and you are able to see the things around you that you couldn’t see before. You see your physical world more intently; you see others with eyes and heart of gentleness and kindness.

Once you are willing to open your heart, the next stage involves identifying the wounds you have endured during your lifetime, and the feelings that accompany these wounds. Look closely at your fear and how it holds you back in life. Look closely at grief you may be experiencing, a feeling associated with loss of any type.  Allow yourself the time to look at these feelings and try to be straight while you do so. Try to just “be” with them, without numbing them out with substances or activity.

Now, feel compassion for yourself for the wounds you have received and endured. See yourself with gentleness, kindness. Do not slide into self-pity… this is not a pity party I am suggesting. More, it is an objective assessment and acknowledgment of the damage you have received. Now it’s time to start seeing the world around you with gratitude. Be grateful for the simplest things and soon that gratitude will expend to larger things in your life.

Now you are equipped to begin a self-appraisal, looking first at your positive traits, behaviors, and actions. Really praise yourself for these things. Then, look at your negative behavior, the things you do for which you are mad at others for doing, when you do the very same things yourself. For your bad behavior that was hurtful to others, take ownership of that behavior. Be responsible and accountable for it by letting go of any resentments, and apologizing, if indicated.

This tool is invaluable as one to use on an on-going basis, throughout each day. It becomes second-nature to see yourself honestly, objectively. Rather than allowing this appraisal to be a jumping-off place from which to beat yourself up, use it instead as a method of keeping yourself right-sized… not bragging or boastful, nor insecure and self-reproachful. Use a self-appraisal to locate where you are in your world, both outer and inner.

Once you learn to follow this process, you will have opened your heart so very much. There is one more tool to use to get to deep peace and freedom, and that is forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you, without condoning what was done, to put to rest your heart-burning resentment, the thing that keeps you simmering with anger just below the surface. Once you come to forgiveness, you will begin to be really free, able to open your heart even wider.

So, this is the process to go through to open your heart. How does it work for you? Do you have a different method? What works for you? Leave a comment and let us know.


How To Overcome Fear – Conclusion

Now it is time for amends… to myself and others. In this case, it’s not appropriate to tell others of the ways in which I may have harmed them – that would be more harmful. So, I make a living amends… I stop placing them in the role of rejecting me, judging me as less than. When those thoughts arise, I ask for them to be removed, I recognize them as harmful to another.

As far as with myself, I first apologize, and hold myself in compassion for having these thoughts. I remind myself I am a child of the Universe, equal to everyone else, with unique gifts to share with the world, just as all of us have unique gifts to share. I do a living amends by recognizing when these thoughts arise and asking that they be removed. I soothe myself.

Then I find the courage to go about doing what is right in front of me to do, in this case, it would be to send one email to one editor. I find the courage to do this through prayer. Low-and-behold, courage comes and I was able to send an email to all of the seven editors on my list. I was in the frame of mind that I was “equal to,” not “less then.”

The process of looking for my fears, and the harm to myself or others because of my fear, continues every day and I make amends when I identify the need. I continue with my spiritual practice. Then I find someone to whom I can offer help, perhaps someone who is in fear themselves, and I help if I can by sharing my story.

This is how I overcome fear. Do you have methods that work for you, or are you so consumed by it, that you are paralyzed?


Overcome Fear – Walk Through That Gate

Webs of FearHow did I overcome my all-consuming fear, my terror? I haven’t totally, but I have learned how to deal with it, how to walk through it.

I was many years sober before I realized how fearful and terrified I was of so many things. For me, it usually boils down to being afraid that I will do something wrong and will get in trouble, that I will not be liked, that I am not good enough or that others will get angry at me. These fears continue to drive me.

They are getting less and less as I become more and more aware of them. I put my attention toward these fears and talk my way through them. I pray to a higher power, the Universe, God – whomever you choose to call that Supreme Power which guides you in life.

I ask that my fears be removed, and often, they are. Sometimes, they only lessen, and I am given the courage to walk through the gate of my fear, whatever it may be.

I frequently recognize I am afraid to do something, and I purposely take action to walk through that fear. With practice and repeated walking through a fear, I find it melts away or becomes less and less.

How Fear Shows Up In My Life

My fear manifests itself as anger, hurt, defensiveness. When I recognize these emotions, I ask myself what is behind them. Usually, it is fear. Again, I pray for its removal and the strength to walk through the fear. Having been given the courage, I walk through that gate, again and again.

Fear is a normal human emotion and I do not think one is weak if one has fear. In fact, perhaps by acknowledging fear, one shows great strength and courage.

Personally, I have to determine when fear is False Evidence Appearing Real, and then go through the steps I have described. It is a method that works for me when I remember to use it.

Such are my thoughts on fear and it is time to move to the next image in the book. To begin at the beginning so you can discover the magic of the gates, scroll back. I would link it, but a link will only take you to one post…

How do you walk through the gates of your fear? What are your fears? How have you overcome fear?