Respect for the Rights of Others

January 5, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Good morning, all! “Respect for the rights of others” was searched for four times, and I wish to address that today. To look at how to do this, it is necessary to look at what I believe another’s rights actually are. So let’s discuss them.

Cultivation of Differences

First, the biggest thing we can do to respect another is to tolerate one’s differences. In fact, we can celebrate the differences of each other, encouraging others, and ourselves, to greatness. The differences of others is what brings richness to our lives.

The second thing we can do to respect another is to treat them with kindness and consideration, just like we would want to be treated. When I say “consideration,” I am referring to consideration of one’s beliefs and one’s feelings.

It is the right of another to be treated as a worthy being, simply because they are living on this earth. We each are inherently worthy and we can respect that of another.

Respect of Individuality

Acknowledging one’s individuality is another way to show respect for them. We spend lots of time trying to get others to be like us, to think like us, to act like us. Is that because we feel insecure about who we are ourselves?

If we respect someone’s individuality and cultivate their differences, think of the harmony that would be created among us. Similarly, if we respect OUR individuality and cultivate OUR differences, think how we would shine in the world.

So, armed with these things – tolerance, cultivation of differences, kindness, consideration, and encouragement of individuality – we will be showing respect for others’ rights.

What actions do you take which show respect for another? Leave a comment and let us know.

 

 

 

 

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Opening Your Heart in Sobriety

December 14, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Good morning. One of the search terms, the one we’ll talk about today, is opening your heart and I added “in sobriety.” You will find, as your sobriety progresses, that your heart will open. But there are specific things you can do to help this to happen.

The photo to the right is one from my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. The verse that accompanies it is:

“We spend our lives behind the barriers of a closed gate, protected from the hurt and pain that may come to us. If we allow our hearts to open, we will see things in a different light. We will grow through the barriers of our heart and be able to fully experience the richness of life.”

So, how do you let down the barrier of your heart that you have erected to protect yourself?

First of all, if you approach yourself and others with gentleness, your heart will begin to open more. Next, kindness to others and yourself will help. Then, there is tolerance, which will add to your ability to open your heart in sobriety. Being tolerant of others’ differences, being tolerant of yourself and your foibles, will aid your journey to an open heart.

The most important thing, though, for allowing your heart to open is the practice of compassion – for yourself and for others. When you practice compassion, your heart softens. Sometimes, to get to compassion, it helps to do a self-appraisal, so you can discover the things you do that others do, to annoy you.

For example, you may get angry at others for something and when you do a self-appraisal, you may discover that you do the very same thing. Instead of continuing to blame the other, you can open your heart and see you both as wounded humans, and accept the foibles you are both demonstrating.

In sobriety, these steps will aid you to open your heart. And certainly, you do not have to be practicing sobriety to do these things.

How do you open your heart? Let us know what you have learned in sobriety that allows you to open your heart by leaving a comment.

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Curls of Kindness

October 14, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Yesterday and Friday I had the distinct honor of being in a holiday craft show at the park where I live. I offered my book and some of my framed images of gates. Everything was well received… many said my work was lovely… and few bought. Still, I had some great conversations with people… a few were very spiritual in nature.

The interesting thing was, I had the opportunity to relay to many people the story of how the book was born. You see, I did not write the verses to go with the pictures. It happened the other way around. I was photographing these gates, and then was titling them so I could sell them to galleries.

Separate and independent of my photo-taking was my journaling – daily writings to try and deal with feelings associated with my sobriety, my recovery. I wrote much about my thoughts and feelings in an effort to work through my emotional difficulties.

One morning, I wrote in my journal a phrase, a verse, that described a gate I had just titled Webs of Fear. I was quite taken-aback, and was prompted to search my journals for other writings that matched or described my titled gate photos. I found around 25 or 30 writings that matched up with images!

Imagine, having written these things before I even photographed the gates! It was all pretty amazing to me and I think, as a result, that the book was divinely inspired, divinely guided. That was in late November of 2004 when I discovered the prose and it was at that point that I realized I had a book I had written and could continue to write. I started working on coordinating verses with photos.

By 2008, I had the book pretty much pulled together, wanted to publish it, and I was terrified for people to read it. I felt very exposed, very raw and vulnerable. I was afraid to expose my story. It took me two more years before I could get up the courage to actually put the book in the hands of a publisher. They, however, rejected it and so I decided to publish it myself.

Curls of Kindness

I felt its message was too important to wait until such time as a publisher accepted it, so I went through the process of publishing it. One of the images from my book is Curls of Kindness. I’d like to share it and its verse with you.

 ”If now is not the time to be kinder and gentler to each other and to ourselves,

when will it be?”

This is just one of many verses that ponders the question of how we treat each other and ourselves. There are additional ones that invite us to act with more tolerance and respect, more compassion and gentleness. As a result of acting in such a manner, the book promises the experience of grace and hope, serenity and joy… and peace.

Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing is an accounting of my own journey into and through sobriety. It takes you along on the path from great angst, through self-awareness and into discovery of so many things which have allowed me to live with joy and peace in my life.

I invite you to check it out in more detail by clicking on the “About” button, and scrolling down to “The Book.” Order your copy today and I will send you a signed copy. Read it in its entirety as a pathway to peace or use it as a daily meditation book when each verse is read individually. May it bring you hope and peace.

 

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Kindness Will Further Your Sobriety

July 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Once we have clarified our morals, truths, and integrities, it is time to look at our actions. Do we come across to others as kind? Are we kind to ourselves? 

Showing kindness is one of the most single, powerful things we can do to promote peace. It will also benefit our sobriety, as when we are kind to others and ourselves, we know a sense of serenity.

When we show kindness, we have a good feeling about ourselves. Being kind feeds our ability to be kind to more people. And, when we show ourselves kindness, we feed our soul, we celebrate ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but when I go out in public to, say, the grocery store, I sometimes listen to parents talk to their children in a very unkind way. That denigrates their being, squashes their spirit.

Sometimes, the words that come out of our mouth are unkind, but we can always apologize for that and make an amend by being kind in the future dealings with people.

How do you display kindness to others? Do you consciously try to be kind, or do you not think about it? You might try thinking about it, as showing kindness will further your sobriety and your emotional strength. It will lead the way to peace. 

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Practice Kindness As You Pursue Your Dream

May 10, 2012 by 1 Comment

Curls of Kindness

Practicing kindness, being kind to others and ourselves, furthers our journey to living our dream. By showing kindness, we ignite the giving and receiving dance that occurs between two beings when they feel they are in a safe and loving space. That, in turn, fuels the courage to pursue our dream.

The curls of the gate on your right are difficult to see in this small photo, yet they are there and are why the terms curls and kindness are paired together.

You see, as each curl extends itself outward, touching another, it then curls back upon itself. Kindness is like that. When you extend it, it is returned to you in like fashion. 

As each curl joins another, it represents the power you receive from that other, allowing you the courage to pursue your dream. You thrive with the support and kindness from that person.

If you take on the practice of random acts of kindness, then you have arrived at a glorious state. It feels so good to offer kindness to another and to see their face light up with a smile in response to your words or actions. That is the reward you gain, the gift you receive – knowing you helped another fellow human being.

The thing about kindness is that most people are not expecting it, and so when they receive it, they are caught off-guard, displaying in their reaction more of their inner self. That is always so beautiful to witness.

Don’t forget to give yourself kindness. Convert your negative self-talk into kind words uttered for all of your actions taken and words spoken. Make it a habit to show yourself random acts of kindness, for you, too, can use that bolstering. We all can. It feeds our soul.

Today, fill your soul with happiness and courage to pursue your dream. Practice giving and receiving kindness in your life.

 

 

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Cultivate the Differences We Find In Others

March 16, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Cultivation of Differences

One of the more exciting behaviors we can adopt to maintain our sobriety and bring us peace, is to cultivate the differences we find in others around us. It is exciting because we are always in a state of wonder about others when we decide to live this way. 

Just like we would with a garden, we tend to the differences we discover. We go out into the world looking for those differences, and we celebrate them when we find them. We honor others when we do this.

We start with the obvious differences… sex and color. We adopt the philosophy of “live and let live,” and we realize that “One is not more beautiful than another. Each has beauty in its own right, if we will only look… if we will only see.”

Once we discover and cultivate the differences we find in others, we can apply all the behaviors we have learned up to this point, like tolerance, respect, compassion, and kindness. We practice these principles freely.

When we do this, we will know a solidarity to our sobriety, and we will know peace. 

Today, look at the people around you and celebrate their differences. Know that their value does not detract from your own. Like the gates, “what thrives in one spot does not grow in another.” Remember that we want to cultivate the differences we find in others. Celebrate when you find these differences, as they add to the fabric of your life. 

 

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Kindness As a Way of Life

March 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Curls of Kindness

“If this is not the time to be kinder and gentler to each other and to ourselves, when will it be?” This is the verse that goes with this image, and they appear next in my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. 

Once we have clarified our morals, truths, and integrities, it is time to look at our actions. Do we come across to others as kind? Are we kind to ourselves? 

Showing kindness is one of the most single, powerful things we can do to promote peace. It will also benefit our sobriety, as when we are kind to others and ourselves, we know a sense of serenity.

When we show kindness, we have a good feeling about ourselves. Being kind feeds our ability to be kind to more people. And, when we show ourselves kindness, we feed our soul, we celebrate ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but when I go out in public to, say, the grocery store, I sometimes listen to parents talk to their children in a very unkind way. That denigrates their being, squashes their spirit.

Sometimes, the words that come out of our mouth are unkind, but we can always apologize for that and make an amend by being kind in the future dealings with people.

How do you display kindness to others? Do you consciously try to be kind, or do you not think about it? You might try thinking about it, as showing kindness will further your sobriety and your emotional strength.

 

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Dialogue with Others

January 22, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Invitation of Dialogue

Invitation of Dialogue

“If we as individuals cannot speak to each other, how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?”

This is the verse that accompanies the next image in the book. We are walking through my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, one topic at a time. Our goals are sobriety and peace.

I was struck with awe when I saw this gate, as the little men seemed to be not only talking to each other, but listening as well. They seemed to be engaged in dialogue.

We as humans need to get ourselves together on the inside, and when we do, we then need to be able to communicate and interact with others in a meaningful way. When I say “meaningful,” I am referring to talking in a kind and respectful manner.

I listen to those around me when I am in public places, like the grocery store, and I am struck with how many people speak to each other in a mean or sarcastic way. I cringe when I hear this, thinking to myself that there is no kindness shown… no respect. And my heart is sad, believing that there is another way to talk with each other that is less hurtful.

As we engage in talking with another, we can, as I said, show kindness and respect. We can also show tolerance. There is no need to be sarcastic or defensive. And, one of the biggest things we can do when engaged with another is to listen to what they are saying, to have an interest in them.

Don’t worry. We will each get our chance to talk about ourselves and, if we don’t, then it was not meant to be. The other had something to get off their chest and we were the sounding board.

Yet, in a perfect world of dialogue with others,  it is a give and take of conversation, an ebb and flow of ideas, thoughts, and feelings. This makes for a rich and satisfying exchange for both parties.

In your conversations, are you kind, respectful, and tolerant to the other? Do you listen to what they are really saying, taking the time to not worry what you will say when it’s your turn to talk? Do you dialogue with others, talk with them, or do you talk to them? Today, be conscious of your dialogue with others and see if that feels different for you.

 

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What Is Kindness and How Do We Practice It

January 9, 2012 by 2 Comments

“What is kindness?” is perhaps a question we want to ask ourselves more frequently. I say this because I overhear people speaking to each other in an unkindly manner all-too-often.

Curls of Kindness

Curls of Kindness

What IS kindness? According to Webster, it is nothing more than being sympathetic, generous, friendly, gentle, loving, tenderhearted, and affectionate. Sometimes, we are better at these ways of being to strangers than we are to those we have been with for a long time. I wonder why that is…

Perhaps, it is because we have grown tired of the relationship and the other person. Or, maybe it’s because we are feeling grumpy at the point in time that we are unkind and we think it’s okay to take it out on the one we love the most. Is that fair? Probably not…

So how do we prevent that? We learn about ourselves more, about our tendencies to blow up at another when we’re irritable, or not getting what we want. We do our self-appraisal and we make amends, when appropriate. We begin to consciously practice all the ways that Webster defines kindness, as I’ve listed above.

Then there is the issue of how we treat ourselves, which is often harsher than how we treat others. We call ourselves stupid, for example, when we make a mistake.

How do we practice kindness, you ask? The answer to that is that, perhaps, we don’t. But we can, simply by choosing to look at another with respect, tolerance, and love, so that kindness just naturally flows from that point. It may not be a simple matter for us to do that, in which case, we can work on that. It’s practice, not perfection.

What is kindness to ourselves and how do we practice that? First, we can begin to note our negative self-talk. Then, we fetch ourselves up shortly when we are talking to ourselves in an unkind manner. We remind ourselves that we want to treat ourselves differently – with more kindness. So, we replace the negative criticism with some compassion, perhaps, or we pay ourselves a compliment for what we DID do right or well. With practice, we can change our interior thought-world.

When we learn to be kinder to others and ourselves, we will have just that much more chance of getting and staying sober, and we will begin to feel more peace.

I just have one question and it happens to be the verse from my book which goes with the photo above. “If this is not the time to be kinder and gentler to each other and to ourselves, when will it be?” 

 

 

 

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Have You Found Inner Peace?

December 17, 2011 by Leave a Comment

A Promise of Peace brings us to the conclusion of the book. And I quietly wonder if you have found inner peace, any at all, by going through the book with me this last 42 or so days. I really hope you have…

Promise of Peace

Promise of Peace

Peace. How do you know peace when it finds you? For me, it is the all-inclusion of everything we have been talking about into my senses, seeing with the eyes of my heart, and feeling a great deal of love for all beings on this Earth.

It is promised to us, if we go through the process that is defined in my book, because in doing so, we learn to love deeply. There is no desire to be in conflict with others.  When really in-tune, that includes inner conflict as well.

Does that mean we go through life in this glow? Hardly. That doesn’t happen because we’re human beings and, as such, are a caring and feeling species. Given the ever-constant changes in our lives from day-to-day, and the fact that we react with feelings and emotions, we slip temporarily from that space of centeredness and peace. 

So, what is there to do when this happens? Lament the loss of our peaceful existence. even if it was only for five minutes? No, we merely start in by looking at the situation, feeling our feelings, examining our response to situations that have arisen.

Case in point, I am in the middle of something which has the potential to affect how I conduct my life in the future, and I was stunned to realize I was playing the victim role! Wow! I thought I was past that, but it showed up very subtly. So, I am in the process of doing more self-appraising to see what is going on with me that puts me in that mindset.

At the same time, I am feeding myself positive affirmations. These tasks equate to ” taking action,” as we discussed in previous posts. Slowly, I am becoming able to see glimpses of my terror over how this new information could affect my future. How much will I get out from behind that terror to affect my own future? That is the key.

We can affect our own future by the actions we take today, in this moment. What do we do with the fear? We can recognize and feel it, acknowledge that it exists,  then walk away from it and take action, and, as needed, allow a glimpse of it again later.

We repeat this again and again until our fear subsides. I believe these issues get raised for us, so that we can take a look at core beliefs, and to heal from the destructive ones. While we do this, we remember to be gentle, kind, and tolerant with ourselves and the others around us.  And the result is, we find our center again. We find that peace again.

We even can go to it among the turmoil by distracting ourselves with a favored and cherished activity, one in which you get lost. Your peace will return as a reprieve for what you will again visit to sort out. That’s how it works for me. Maybe it will work for you, too.

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Improving Your Communication Skills

December 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Invitation of Dialogue

Invitation of Dialogue

“If we as individuals cannot speak to each other, how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?”

Such is the verse for our topic today, improving your communication skills.

Let me be clear about the fact that I am not a communications expert, but I do observe people and their communication, and I do know what prevents me from communicating with others.

What I observe is a lot of bickering, bullying, and putting others down. Why do we do that to each other? Why can we not speak with gentleness and kindness to others?

I think of the reasons that I do not communicate well to another and it is usually when I am feeling low, or “less than” about myself, or when I am very shy. I retreat inside, unable to come out and participate in dialogue.

I am talking about the kind of dialogue where each party is free to express their feelings or thoughts without fear of ridicule or belittlement. How can we, as listeners, be active participants?

First of all, we can show respect for another as they are talking to us, remembering that each person is unique and worthy of our respect. Remember, we are focusing on cultivating differences between us and others.

Secondly, we can show tolerance for that person, allowing them to have their own opinion, even if it differs from ours. Remember, just because they say something of worth, it does not detract from our value.

Third, we can show kindness and gentleness as we set about talking to others. Remember, we each just want to be acknowledged for who and what we are, so we can pay attention to those around us.

Fourth, have compassion for another as they trudge with purpose through their life. Remember, show ourselves compassion also, for the frightened people we may be when it comes to approaching others and talking.

With respect, tolerance, kindness, gentleness, and compassion, we can engage in dialogue with others, allowing ourselves to show that tender side of ourselves. When we practice these things, we can also listen well, which is the other part of communication. Remember, listen to what others are saying and hear with your heart.

How do you engage in communication with others? Do you need a brush-up on your communication skills? Do you do all the talking, or do you allow room for others to talk? Leave a comment and let us know what you think.

 

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Inspirational Quote About Life and Grace

December 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As we move forward in my book, our next topic is grace. Today’s inspirational quote about life and grace from the book is “Gently, quietly, an unearned favor of great beauty and pleasure is bestowed upon me.”

Sweep of Grace

Sweep of Grace

There is nothing quite like living in grace. It is a spiritual experience, for me. It is swept upon me quietly, gently, as the quote says, and as the photograph shows.

The thing about grace is that it is unearned, it is a favor. The more you strive for it, the more elusive it is. It is a gift that settles upon you. It just feels like the world is in alignment, that all is right for you.

Webster defines grace as an attractive quality, feature, or manner. It is beauty or charm of form, composition, movement, or expression.

How do you live in grace? Since it is nothing you can originate, since it is bestowed upon you, living the principles of living that we have been discussing will lead to grace.

For example, living with honesty, and with an open and willing heart will lead to grace. So will it if you live with tolerance, compassion, and kindness toward others and yourself.

Live with these qualities today and see if you experience grace, that wonderful veil that descends upon you, gently. Let us know if you experience it and what it feels like for you.

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Inspirational Quotes About Life and Hope

November 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Ray of Hope

Ray of Hope

One of the inspirational quotes about life and hope for today is, “A ray of light across the bars of my being lights my way, instills hope in my heart.”

Another is, “You feel hope when you feel that what you want will happen.” That is Webster’s definition…

For you who is learning to love yourself and to overcome low self-esteem, depression, worthlessness, or despair, you begin to believe that you can overcome these things, that you can feel self-love.

Now that you have seen yourself with kindness and compassion, forgiven yourself and others, learned to have humility and willingness, and accepted yourself as you are, you realize that you have hope for better times, a better feeling about yourself and your life.

You have hope that you can move forward in life, that inner peace and happiness can be yours. Breathe in intention – to move forward in your life. Breathe out manifestation – you experience peace and happiness today.

All it takes is that little ray of hope that you see in the photograph, and soon the sun shines even more brightly across the bars of your being, dissolving doubt, washing away fear. You bathe in that ray and drink in the hope that it brings to your soul. 

That’s right… go ahead and drink in hope, relish it, revel in it. Let it open your heart. Believe in yourself and let your light shine in your world and the world around you. 

Can you feel that hope? Are you breathing in intention and breathing out manifestation? Let your soul be lightened and washed clear. Is your soul feeling more clear? It is my hope that it is. Now, have a peaceful and happy day as you bask in hope today… then tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next… one day at a time…

 

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Building Self Confidence by Accepting Yourself

November 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today we’re going to talk about building self confidence by accepting yourself. This is the next topic in the book, and the verse is:

Building self confidence through Acceptance of Self

Acceptance of Self

“Have we really changed throughout the years, or do we merely hold within our heart and mind and soul the essence of who we are, while our physical form changes?

Can we recapture the delightful being we have always been, as we allow and celebrate our strengths, our flaws, our spirit?”

You start out as a delightful being, delighted yourself with the world and your surroundings. Over time, you are hurt by others, perhaps told in one way or another that you are not good enough, that you are worthless. You are belittled, criticized. These things erode your self confidence.

You start believing all the negative things you have been told or been shown about yourself, and you start putting yourself down. You are not what someone else wants you to be, so you begin not accepting who you are. 

These things are all crazy-making within your heart, your mind. You end up being a confused and hurt person, lacking confidence and wanting to be someone different than you are. This is damaging to your soul.

What if you were to start over and reclaim yourself and who you are? Re-examine the delightful things about yourself and applaud them. Identify your strong points, just as you identify your weak points needing improvement.

Accept that it is all who you are. No need to be ashamed for your weak areas, your negative behavior. Accept that that is who you are and be willing to change those things, but know that that is who you are in the moment.

The more you run away from who you are at this very moment in time, the less likely you will be able to accept yourself and to reclaim self confidence. Seriously, accept that you are that generous, kind person, just as you are a selfish, hurtful person sometimes. Own it – all of it. 

If you do not identify and accept who you are at the current time, if you are always denying your bad points, you cannot make changes in yourself. It is in correcting your bad and weak points that you can help grow your self confidence.

When you do your self-appraisal, have the courage and humility to admit to the good that you are and that you do. Go ahead. Praise yourself, pat yourself on the back. Allow seeing your positive points to add to your self confidence. Stand tall in who you really are. Be honest with the world.

Remember to be humble, though. This exercise is not meant to emphasize your superiority, but to enhance the way in which you see yourself so you can raise your self confidence.

Do good for others. This will raise your self confidence immensely. There is nothing like seeing the look of appreciation on another’s face when you do something kind and giving for them.

In short, reclaim that delightful spirit that you are. Take responsibility for your flaws. Do good for others. Most importantly, find kindness, gentleness, compassion, and forgiveness for yourself.

How have these actions helped to raise your self confidence? Have you accepted who you are in both your darkness and your light? Has doing esteem-able acts helped you with your self confidence? Leave a comment. Let us know.

 

 

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How to Find Peace with an Open Heart

November 14, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As we move along in the book, one topic at a time, we come to how to find peace with an open heart. In the book, it’s called Openness of Heart.

Openness of Heart

The verse talks about how we go through life with a heart that is closed to life’s pains to protect our heart. The verse continues with, “If we allow our hearts to open, we will see things in a different light.”

“We will grow through the barriers of our heart and be able to fully experience the richness of life.” And we – you – find peace.

Along with an open heart comes an open mind. You must develop an open heart and an open mind to find peace.

How does this work? How do you come to have an open heart and mind?

You make a choice and you decide to see things in a different light. You decide to see the world and the people around you with more kindness, gentleness, and tolerance.

You begin to delight in people and their differences by opening your heart to them. Perfect example… Last weekend I was in a holiday craft show at the mobile home park where I live. The woman across the aisle from me had a table with lots of stuffed bears, around which she had placed small scarves she had knitted. There were other objects, as well.

Now, I’m not much iinto stuffed bears and the like, but I decided to look upon the wares at her table, and to notice her and them with an open heart. What I had the gift to observe was this woman, lovingly placing these scarves around the bears’ necks, then arranging and rearranging the bears and other items on her table.

The expression on her face was one of pure focus, pure love, and I was able to be a witness to that, simply by opening my heart to her and her product. It was priceless to watch her… My heart soared.

When you close your heart and mind to others, you miss out on priceless moments such as these. In fact, you miss out on peace in your soul. So, how do you find peace with an open heart and mind?

As I said, you make the decision to see with eyes of gentleness. You consciously decide you will be open-minded about what you encounter, that you will delight in someone’s differences. You consciously decide to not be fearful of their differences. Then, you view another with the eyes of the soul, viewing them as another child of the Universe, just like you.

You allow them to be different and praise the differences in them, knowing that the differences you witness add great richness to your life. You recognize that, to some, you and your expression of who you are will seem strange, and you smile at yourself when you think this, allowing you to be yourself with your strange habits. When you can do these things, you will experience peace of mind and openness of heart.

How do you open your heart, your mind, or, do you go about life with your heart and mind closed? Wouldn’t you like to experience seeing life with the eyes of your soul, being more gentle, kind, and tolerant? Try it. You’ll enjoy the feeling.

 

 

 

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Inspirational Sayings That Can Help Change Hopelessness to Hope

May 14, 2011 by 4 Comments

Many people go from great despair and depression to hopelessness; they go hand in hand, it seems. It is possible to find inspirational sayings that help change hopelessness to hope, but we have to be in the right mind-set for them to sink in. Often, when we feel hopeless, we are not able let anything in – we are too exhausted emotionally to hear anything, too depressed to care, too bereft to sort out what is coming our way.

For me, hopelessness was a feeling that there was no use to live, no purpose to my life. I was totally listless and had no belief that things would get better. In fact, I felt so hopeless, I prayed to die. I found my thought that things could not get better, to be untrue, however. Hope crept in…

I am an inspirational sayings and quote kinda gal, and I found inspirational quotes about life that helped turn my hopelessness around. I just kept reading quotes. I also did a lot of recovery work involving much reading, and I was taking what I read and applying it to my situation.

Because of my work with sobriety, I reached out to help another and, through that action, discovered that the painful events of my lifetime had meaning and purpose. I discovered that when I relayed my story to another who was in pain, and humbly offered what I have found that helped me through it, he expressed gratitude for me sharing; he said it was very helpful to him.

As I processed what had happened, I realized that my painful experiences in life had been necessary so I could relate to this person’s pain and have compassion. I realized they were for the purpose of sharing them and the solutions I have found to heal from them. Suddenly, I had purpose! My life had purpose. I felt useful to others. It was this realization that led me to come out of despair and to feel hope. In fact, I have not felt hopeless since that day. What a blessing; such a gift.

I think when we do for others, we can recognize that tender part of our heart. Seeing that in ourselves, it resonates with what we would like to be in the world – perhaps kindness, perhaps giving.  And we begin to say to ourselves that a person with a tender part in their heart cannot be all bad or worthless. That is a redeeming quality. Ah, a beacon of hope .

“May a ray of light across the bars of your being light your way, instill hope in your heart.” That is for those who struggle with hopelessness, worthlessness and is a modification of what is in the book, as I made it about you, and not me.  I like Kathryn Hepburn’s words, “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw anyone out.” And I add, including yourself. Don’t throw anyone out, including yourself.

So move forward with intention (the aim of the root to anchor and the leaf to find the sun) and provide kindness to another (kindness-the touch of an innocent heart on the broken wing of a fallen bird).  Go with courage (the will to act in the face of fear guided by trust and the knowing of the moment) and go with trust (the arm that reaches through apparent circumstances and holds steadfast to identify with Source).

 

 

 

 

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Practice Acts of Kindness

April 13, 2011 by 6 Comments

Acts of kindness need to be bestowed not only onto others, but to ourselves, as well. Frequently, we don’t treat ourselves very kindly; we speak in harsh tones, criticize, say mean things. Why do we speak to ourselves with such a lack of kindness? We don’t treat others in such a manner.

Why do we think we can speak to ourselves in disparaging tones, with disparaging words? Perhaps we feel there is something about us that “deserves” such a lack of kindness. But my guess is, we just don’t think about how we are speaking to ourselves. We don’t keep an eye on what we say to our psyche.

Try this: stop and listen the next time you speak to yourself. Did you chide or negate, bully or disparage? I suspect you are not as polite as if you were addressing a friend. Make it a habit to check how you are talking to yourself, a check-in, if you will.

All the while you are checking yourself, look at how you treat others. Is it kind? It doesn’t have to be complicated when we deal with others, yet, is it kind? Practice being kind to others randomly. Every time a kind thought crosses your mind, pass that along to someone. Soon you will feel a lightness associated with your dealings with others.

Do you practice acts of kindness to yourself and others?

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Inner Peace Leads To World Peace

December 7, 2010 by 2 Comments

Promise of Peace

When I practice the principles of love for myself and others,

the gates of my heart melt into the glow of dusk,

and peace rises to greet me.

So it is when we practice kindness, tolerance, respect, compassion, forgiveness, etc.- the principles of living. If we start by providing these things to ourselves, it leads to inner peace. We allow ourselves to be human, while learning to assess our thoughts and behaviors, constantly loving ourselves and others.

Fueled by a full and overflowing heart, we can them be at peace with those in our immediate surroundings, which, in turn, leads to those people gaining inner peace and so forth. There is no end result. The cycle repeats itself endlessly, furthering world peace.

It is a nice scenario I weave, is it not? Yet, it was possible and happened that way for me. Once I was able to love, value, and repsect myself, I was able to truly love, value, and respect others. I gained peace I never thought I would find, both within and with those in my world.

It works. It really does!

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Share the words of inspiration and hope in my book. Give a copy to a friend, or to yourself. Share in the process I went through to reach inner, and then outer, peace. I am having a holiday celebration and am selling the book for $25.00, including shipping and tax for California residents. This is a reduction from $29.95 plus shipping and applicable tax.

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Pursuit of Serenity

December 2, 2010 by 3 Comments

Balance of Serenity

I am serene,

carried to places where

I am held in balance

with great beauty and strength.

In the pursuit of serenity. do we try too hard? Is it something we do not need to actively pursue because it is a feeling with which we are graced?

The definition of serene is a state of being calm, tranquil – without agitation, free from disturbance. Ah, can’t you just feel being in that state? Don’t you wish to live there most of the time?

Perhaps the way to get there is to take certain steps that have been discussed throughout this blog… such as starting with searching ourselves, identifying our fears and the cause of them, assessing our behavior with others and ourselves. Is it kind, loving?

Then we can choose to adopt principles of living that are loving, such as kindness, tolerance, respect. We learn to live with compassion and forgiveness. The result is living in love, and serenity is a by-product of that. It’s a lovely place to live.

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Our book topics draw to an end, just as the holiday season begins. I’d like to let it be known that I will be offering a special holiday rate of $25 for my book, including shipping and tax for CA residents. This is a holiday special you don’t wish to miss! Whether for yourself or another, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing makes an excellent gift! What a wonderful way to start the new year!

This special rate will run from approximately Dec 6th (I have to check with my webmaster), through December 31st. I will keep you posted of the start date. And remember, I will sign each book.

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Inviting Kind and Gentle Dialogue

September 14, 2010 by 5 Comments

Invitation of Dialogue

If we as individuals cannot speak to each other, how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?

This is the prose that appears in the book with this image. When I talk about people speaking to each other, I am referring to talking civilly with each other, listening to what the other person is saying, without judgment, defensiveness, attacking, minimizing, or belittling.

I have not often been a witness to communication that is absent of these things. Oh, yes, for the non-threatening and less important things I see calm and civil communication. But when we are talking about our  feelings or beliefs, I hear a lot of attacking, a lot of belittling, a lot of defensiveness.

Why is this? I believe it is fear… fear that we will lose something we have or not get something we want. Acting out of this fear, we lash out at another. Perhaps we have been hurt emotionally, even physically by another and we speak from this hurt.

How can we change this? Perhaps, if we remember to speak with kindness, with tolerance, our communication will be more gentle. Perhaps, if we can work through our pain and find forgiveness in our heart, communication will be more civil. Perhaps, if we are accepting of ourselves, firm in who we are, we will not have the need to lash out at the other. Perhaps, if we resolve not to verbally attack another, we can communicate with peace.

What are the ways in which you invite kind and gentle dialogue?

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Do You Encourage Another’s Differences?

September 6, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Cultivation of Differences

We ask, require, and demand that those around us be like us, share our attributes and our beliefs. In so doing, we compare… one to another. In that process, do we not squash the spirit of one who is different from us?

One is not more beautiful than another. Each has beauty in his/her own right… if we will only look, if we will only see.

Such are some of the words from the verse for this image. In writing these words, I was struck with the memory of how I was compared to my siblings from an early age, and the effect that has had on me during my life. The result has been the belief that what I do is never good enough. I am always pushing myself to do better, to do differently.

I believe that to compare one to another is detrimental. Let’s, instead, look at the differences of others and celebrate the differences that we see, that we find when we allow ourselves to look with awe at another. Let’s cultivate our uniqueness, thus allowing the other to flourish in their garden of life.

To do this is to show love, respect, and kindness to another. How do you cultivate the differences of another? Do you encourage one’s differences? Do you celebrate their uniqueness? Does it give you a good feeling inside to do these things?

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Experience Grace

August 31, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Sweep of Grace

Grace is a state of being that sweeps down upon us. It is an unearned favor of great beauty and pleasure that gently and quietly is bestowed upon us.

When do we know we’re in grace? Perhaps it is having that great sense of knowingness inside that lets us know we are experiencing grace. There is a quietness to that feeling, where everything else tunes itself out and we are left with a deep smile in our soul. Everything falls nicely and easily into place, without needing to push on our part; it only requires us to take action. Then we let go of the results and more to the next thing which needs our attention.

How do we reach grace? We practice the principles of living which we have discussed… such as tolerance, respect, gentleness, kindness, compassion… We show these things for others, as well as for ourselves. To get to the place where we are able to do that, we look at ourselves – our actions, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs – and we do a self-appraisal of these things, looking at the things which block us from being a more loving person… to others and to ourselves.

We look honestly, even if it hurts, even if it is embarrassing. And when we do, we take action to correct those thoughts and actions to be a kindlier person; by doing this, we experience grace. What does grace look  in your life when you experience it?

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Author statement: It is my intent in bringing you this blog, to acquaint you with the topics in my book. I present them in the blog in the same order in which they appear in the book. The sequence of topics reflects my own healing journey in sobriety, from deep despair and feeling worthless, to joy and peace. I hope you find in these pages that which you seek.

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Hopefulness As A Way of Life

August 13, 2010 by 2 Comments

Ray of Hope

” A ray of light across the bars of my being lights my way, instills hope in my heart”

As we blog our way through the topics of my book, we now arrive at hope. We have begun with great angst – fear, sorrow, and despair. Then, we became aware of ourselves, our situation, how we are in the world. Courage was bestowed upon us when we turned to a sacred force for assistance.

We became willing to look at ourselves with honesty and openness as we performed a self-appraisal, which led us to accept ourselves. As we looked at ourselves, we applied compassion and kindness, the same of which we bestow upon those we meet on our path.

Once we have a sense of ourselves in the world, our role, our interactions, we begin to have hope  - that we are okay as a human being, that others can be trusted, that we can find happiness in ourselves and the world around us. This hope has occurred because of the process we have been through up to this point.  We are beginning to feel more complete and whole, which spurs our hope. We continue to feel hope as we repeat the steps discussed up to this point. It is an on-going cycle that breeds more hope.

What are the ways in which you feel hope in your life?

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As the award-winning author and photographer of her book of inspirational prose and photographs of wrought-iron gates, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers inspiration, hope, and empowerment to those in transition, to those souls in the corner who struggle. View the video about the book; stroll through the pages, both of which are located to the right of this blog. Buy the book from Carolyn’s website  and receive free shipping and your personally autographed copy.

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Practice Random Acts of Kindness

August 9, 2010 by 1 Comment

Curls of Kindness

If this is not the time to be kinder and gentler to each other and to ourselves, when will it be?

Such is the verse that appears as the next topic in the book after Pillar of Strength. The associated image shows a gate with curls of iron throughout. Curls, to me, represent the movement and momentum forward, from one to the next, just as kindness is moved forward, given from one to the next, just as one curl leads into the next.

Kindness does not have to be complicated. It is as simple as offering a smile to someone. It is an act we perform, or words that we say, that help to brighten up another’s day. It could be a compliment, or allowing someone that’s in a hurry to go before us in the grocery store line. It could be paying the toll of the car behind us at the toll gate.

It is a genuine display of love toward another, easily performed. Sometimes it requires a sacrifice on our part; usually it does not. Usually, it merely involves time… our time to extend ourselves to another for a brief moment.  When we practice kindness, it produces a good feeling, makes our spirit soar because we have added to someone’s day in a positive way.

Just as we are kind to others, we need to be reminded to be kind to ourselves. This is achieved by praising ourselves when we complete a task, or do something positive. It involves ceasing our negative self-talk and replacing it with positive words. It means treating ourselves in the same manner as we would treat a stranger in need.

What was the last time you showed kindness to another and what did that look like? How about to yourself?

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As the author and award-winning, published photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers inspiration and empowerment to those in transition, to those souls in the corner who struggle. View the video about the book, which is located to the right of this blog. Buy the book from Carolyn’s website  and receive free shipping and your personally autographed copy.

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What Resonates With Your Heart?

August 7, 2010 by 3 Comments

Pillar of Strength

“Perhaps, rather than thinking I must make my morals, truth, and integrity match another’s, I can determine what resonates with my own heart. When it does, I have the strength of a pillar.”

We spend a lot of time trying to be liked, to be accepted by others. It is a basic need, perhaps, as social beings. Sometimes, we try so hard to fit in, that we forego our own beliefs, morals, and integrity in favor of adopting another’s. This is most often an unconscious behavior. Yet, it hurts our soul when we give it away in such a manner.

To change our truth is to betray ourselves to ourselves. It is, perhaps, the ultimate way to negate our being, to negate the very core of who we are. For it is in our morals, our integrity, that we shine as individuals. They make us who we are, show what we believe in and stand for. They are part of what makes us, us.

Why do we change our morals, integrity, and truth? What is behind this behavior? Perhaps, it is a reflection of our insecurity, not having a firm like, or love, of Self and who we are. This leaves us unable to stand up for our beliefs. Perhaps, we do not even KNOW our beliefs, have never examined them, have always adopted someone else’s truth.

In either case, the issue can be resolved by doing a self-appraisal and flushing out things like our morals, our truths about ourselves and what we stand for. We tend to look within and only find our faults, our weak and not-so-nice points. Do that first, if you must, yet, do not forget to list your positive qualities and attributes, the things about yourself that make you the unique and delightful person you are and are meant to be to the world. Show kindness to yourself as you embark upon this task.

Go ahead. I dare you. If you are honest with yourself, you will find there are many redeeming qualities about you for which you can show appreciation and respect to yourself. I am not talking about flaunting what you find. Rather, I’m talking about relishing this information about yourself and being humble about what you find.

I am talking about being so strong in your convictions and who you are, that you do not waver in your approach to the world; you stand for what you believe in with every encounter, and within. When you are able to do this, you will have an inner strength, the strength of a pillar, and you will find peace.

What resonates with your heartf?

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Are You Being Honest With Others?

August 1, 2010 by 11 Comments

Welds of Honesty

Oh, my goodness. I have not written since July 19th! I apologize for the delay. I was out-of-town at my 40th high school reunion and have been debriefing since my return late on the 27th. Going back to my reunion reminded me of how closed I was in earlier days, how I was not honest with others about who I was inside, how I didn’t even KNOW who I was. This thought leads me into today’s topic from the book, which is about being honest with others about who you are.

The verse in the book that goes with this image talks about looking inside to see who one is, then deciding to honestly show others what is found. When doing a self-appraisal, however, perhaps we dwell on the negative and are not able to identify our positive points. We are linked to a negative perception of ourselves.

When we can identify the delightful things about ourselves that make us the unique contribution to the fabric of our world that we are, can we then let people see that side of us, see our strengths and skills, our joys and sorrows? Identifying these things about ourselves may be difficult for some; yet, we each have positive and delightful traits and characteristics, we each slide along the continuum of feelings.

Perhaps, once in touch with who we are, we can share such things as joy, gratitude, sorrow, and despair. There is a closeness with others when one begins to share of themself in this way. The others, in turn, reveal more of themselves and these people connect on a deeper level.

It is important to trust the persons to whom we open up. It would be easier to convey the exhilarating emotions than the grieving ones. Yet, when we act beyond our fear of exposing ourselves and our truths, beyond the fear of being vulnerable, we experience that closeness with others. It generates more joy and more gratitude, as well as more love , kindness, tolerance, and respect.

This is not to say that all persons are trustworthy of our revealings. One must discern that another is safe to talk with. It would not be advisable, for example, to share with one who treats our thoughts and feelings with disregard and abuse, as that wounds our soul.

Do you experience this type of honesty with others?  What is that like for you?

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As the author and photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers hope to the soul in the corner who struggles. Perhaps there is a bit of a struggling soul in each of us. Perhaps we each could benefit from the journey she shares. View the additional information about the book to the right of this blog. Buy the book from her website and receive free shipping.

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How to Deal With Self-Doubt

July 8, 2010 by 1 Comment

Shadows of Doubt

I am mired again in the shadows of my dount, my fear.

I circle and circle and circle around the stones of my heart, caged, unable to pass through to the place where my heart is bathed in light.

When we doubt ourselves, our actions, and our beliefs about who we are, we erode our self-esteem, our self-confidence, and our very soul. If we know that doubting ourselves leads to these things, why do we do it?

Perhaps it is a reflection, an indicator, of our state of self-worth, our value to self and to the world. With low esteem and confidence levels, we are not stable enough, not strong enough, in who we are to ward off self-doubt. It erodes our very being even further. We question everything we do, perhaps always looking to others for validation rather than to ourselves, or to a power greater than ourselves.

How do we conquer this, this insidious doubt?  Perhaps it begins with a self-appraisal in which we identity the ways in which we doubt ourselves. If we can identify that, we then have a change to correct or change it. In doing the self-searching, it is necessary to be really honest with ourselves, to admit that the way we fell about ourselves is not honest. For if we were honest, we would see that we are delightful beings, fine just the way we are. We are enough as we are.

If, however, we see that we are doubting ourselves inappropriately, we can make the choice to change our beliefs. How do we do this? By recognizing and admitting each time we doubt, and examining if it is true. When we admit the doubt is false, then we consciously make the choice to change that doubt into a positive statement or affirmation about ourselves. Over time, with diligence, we begin to see our doubts diminish and our esteem and confidence rise. We begin to accept ourselves as we are, making changes when we feel it’s necessary. In this process, it is important to be kind, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves.

How do you deal with doubt when it arises? Do you see this method as being useful?

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How to Access the Possibilities of Life

May 12, 2010 by 1 Comment

Realm of Possibilities

“If I climb the steps, anything is possible. Anything.”

This gate caught my attention because it was flung open as far as it could go. The stairs welcomed me, beckoned me to climb amidst the intricate and pleasing stone work. I marveled at the retaining ability of the wall. I wondered what was at the top of the stairs, wondered what I would find if I climbed…

Interesting how, for me, this gate and those thoughts relate to life. The Universe welcomes me to join in and participate. There are pleasing sights everywhere I look. There are amazing examples of engineering and artwork, merged in purpose and design.

I wonder what is going to happen in my life… this summer, next week, tomorrow, this afternoon. I cannot see where the path will lead, and still, I am asked to trust. Isn’t that a lot like life?

Once I trust, once I become committed to the journey, committed to really observing what is around me, I see that the possibilities for action are endless. Whether it’s a change in attitude, a belief about myself or another, or taking action to further a goal, I find the day is filled with steps of action. If I climb those steps, I reach the horizon and all that the world has to offer. There is a realm of possibilities. Anything can happen. Anything. We never know. It may not happen today, but it may happen.

All I need to do is take action and leave the results up to the Universe. Sounds easy but at times it’s not. Taking action, for me, involves looking at myself and my actions/behaviors with honesty, choosing to be open-minded, open-hearted, and practicing willingness.  It takes adding humility to the mix, as well as kindness and compassion for others AND for myself.

I must be willing to take these steps if I want to experience all that the Universe has to offer. I have learned how to do that in my healing journey, in my sobriety. I have discovered that when I do, there is a wide world of possibilities that exists. I wish for you to experience that in your life, also.

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Can We Live In Harmony?

April 24, 2010 by 5 Comments

Shades of Harmony

harmony “When do we take the time to just listen to the breeze, the quietness, the ramblings of our mind, or the world around us?

When do we simply rest, quietly connecting with ourselves and all that is vast and wondrous around and within us?”

I then go on to ask if that explains our inability to touch ourselves and others in quiet, kind, and harmonious ways. That makes the assumption that we are not displaying kindness or harmony. Is that presumptuous on my part?

Perhaps. It’s just that I see so many around me acting unkindly, fighting and arguing, instead of being at peace with one another, or themselves. The question for me becomes, am I being too idealistic to think we can be kind and harmonious with others, with ourselves?

I don’t have the answer to that question. I think it is a choice and one which each of us must choose. Am I going to be kind to another, promoting harmony? Am I going to show myself kindness, allowing me to be at peace within?

These are the questions I began to ask myself once my journey into sobriety had progressed. It was quite startling to realize the ways in which I was not kind to others, and I especially was not kind to myself. I spent a lot of time criticizing others and myself in my mind, not praising them or myself for positive actions. I was not at peace within.

Over time, and with awareness, things have changed for me. The key lay in the self-appraisal, the self-searching I did. Through that, I was able to see myself more clearly, to accept myself and the point from which I was starting. I became able to move forward and practice genuine kindness. As a result, I experience more harmony, both with others and certainly from within.

How do you maintain harmony in your life?

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Acknowledgement of Others

March 26, 2010 by 3 Comments

Acknowledgement of Others

“We go within so we can reach out to others and we reach out to others so we can go within. It is a never-ending circle of acknowledgment – of each other, and of ourselves. We just want to be seen, to be noticed by those around us. We need to matter to each other, and to ourselves. We do not need to do this alone. We need to help each other. “
OthersI believe acknowledgment is the simplest form of showing respect and kindness to another simply because they, too, are a human being. When acknowledged by another, do you not feel a renewed sense of energy. feel better about yourself and the world around you?

Have you ever noticed the eyes of another light up when you acknowledge them? When I experience this, it softens my heart toward the other person, knowing that I, too, would respond in like fashion if someone were to connect with me. It makes me feel good about myself for having done something kind for another, for having done something to further practices such as harmony and respect and love. So I, too, walk away feeling good. It’s a win-win.

We all just want to be noticed by those around us, by those that are important to us… even by those we don’t know. A nod, a smile… eye contact. A soft hello. It doesn’t take much. My heart can soar sometimes, just by having had a passerby smile at me. Hmm. If I felt that way, wouldn’t it be nice to pass it on to another?

And what of acknowledging ourselves? For me, I have learned that showing myself the same kindness and respect I would show a stranger is crucial for my ability to acknowledge another. When I go within, I feel myself a person worthy to open myself up to you. By paying attention to my needs, by nurturing myself, I gain the energy and confidence in myself to approach you. I go within so I can go without.

And I go without so I can go within, as I discussed above. Imagine this beautiful circle of energy that is created just by acknowledging another, by acknowledging ourselves. What would that be like?

We cannot do it alone. We need to help each other as we each learn, heal, and grow.

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Practice Random Acts of Kindness

February 24, 2010 by 3 Comments

Curls of Kindness

curls of kindness“If this is not the time to be kinder and gentler to each other and ourselves, when will it be? “

I recall writing this in my journal one day when I was in angst about the unkind treatment of others that I was witnessing. I was discouraged by this, as well as the lack of kindness I was showing myself.

I didn’t recognize the unkind treatment to myself until years into sobriety, but I did recognize that the ways I treated others could be perceived as unkind.

In the past, I was unable at times to just smile at people, or to offer a kind word, a compliment. It wasn’t that I had unkind thoughts; it was that I was in fear about exposing myself to you. This made me shy.

In later years, I have realized that my behavior could likely be perceived as hostile, haughty, stuck up. Recognizing this opened my eyes to ways I could improve. Still, I had difficulty smiling at you, offering a “hello.”

As my trust in others, the Divine and myself has grown, I have been graced with the ability to smile at you, to offer a word of encouragement, or to tell you your hair looks nice today. I make the conscious choice to practice random acts of kindness. I have experienced great joy when I open up to someone and watch their face light up with appreciation.

It’s as simple as that today, although it has been a process of going through my gates to get to this point. Once I was able to be kind to you, I began to be kinder to myself. My hostile, belittling self-talk has decreased tremendously and most of the time is absent.

So, I ask again. If it is not time to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others, when will it be?

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Filed Under: Principle of living, Sober Living Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,