Overcoming Worthlessness

Good morning. There were four search terms for worthlessness and no value, so will address this issue. However, I am out of time today, and not able to write. I was locked out of my wordpress account until just a minute ago, and now I have to get ready to leave for a workshop I am attending on how to be a more dynamic speaker. I’m excited for the day!

I wish you well for the day, and for those of you feeling worthlessness and of no value, I offer you kindness and love, and the words that you can feel worth it, and we’re going to talk about that tomorrow. Please hang in there.


Overcoming Feelings of Worthlessness

Good morning. Please forgive my silence for the past three days. The days got away from me while planning and preparing for my workshop that is today. I hope you have enjoyed looking at the images and reading the verses… There were three searches for worthlessness yesterday, and I will address that today.

How did you learn or come to believe that you are worthless? In my case, I was told I was worthless and would never amount to anything every other day or so while growing up, and I got to adulthood feeling a great deal of worthlessness. It has been a lifetime of trying to overcome that, and on most days, I am successful.

How about you? You must be stuck in the feeling of worthlessness if you are searching for that term. Webster defines worthless as without value or merit. It is pretty devastating to believe you have no value, no merit. And the thing is, it is false. The truth is, you ARE worthy, you are of value and merit, simply because you are a human being alive on this earth, with experiences and wisdom to share with others.

Worth is further defined as that quality of a person that lends importance, value, merit, etc., and that is measurable by the esteem in which the person is held. Worth implies an intrinsic excellence; intrinsic means located within, not dependent on external circumstances. Worth is inherent… which means existing in someone as a natural and inseparable quality or characteristic. It is inborn.

So you see, just by definition, you are valuable and of worth, and can begin to shake off your feelings of worthlessness. Yet, it still needs to resonate with your heart that you are valuable, worthwhile. And therein lies the difficulty. Until you feel in your heart that you are worthy, that you have merit, then life is difficult and you are left feeling worthless.

What I have to offer as wisdom is what has worked for me to dispel, to hold off, my feelings of worthlessness. It is something I do in present day when I have feelings of worthlessness. The first thing to do is to practice being aware of when you are feeling worthless. For example, when I believe I have failed at something, the feeling of worthlessness accompanies that feeling of failure.

The problem could be that you don’t know when you are experiencing worthlessness. For me, I know I can slip to that space of worthlessness when I am feeling defeated, feeling that I goofed somehow, that I blew it. My thoughts don’t stop with those thoughts; instead, they continue twirling downward until I have decided that I have no value as a person, that what I offer is not wanted by others, that I suck as a person.

It is at that point that I need to stop and realize I have gone to that space. Actually, I need to catch myself before I get to that place. To do that, I recognize that my trigger to feeling worthless is a feeling that I blew it. When I feel that, I start talking to myself, building myself up, telling myself I am still a good and valuable person, telling myself I have experiences worthy of being shared with others.

So, I consciously go into the “build myself up” mode. That helps to hold off the feelings of worthlessness. Then I try to write about my feelings of failure, getting at what is behind them, and always, always, building myself and my abilities, my inherent values, up, always touting them. I don’t do it to brag or to admire myself. Rather, I do it to keep myself from sliding down the worthlessness hole. It works to keep me from going there.

You, too, can start monitoring your thoughts, starting with being conscious and aware of what triggers you to go to that space of worthlessness. Think of it as an adventure to solve the problem, to find the trigger(s). Once you do, stay aware of your behavior and your internal thoughts and feelings. When you reach your trigger point, start talking positive to yourself in an effort to prevent a slip into worthlessness. When you have tried this, leave a comment and let us know how that worked for you.



Shed Worthlessness and Share Your Dream with the World

Cornet of Worthlessness

Good morning. Today, we will continue through my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. The next topic we come to is worthlessness.

Now that we have identified and acknowledged our fear, we can begin to look at other feelings that are keeping us from following our dream.

Perhaps, somewhere in our past lies the secret to any feelings of worthlessness we may hold. Perhaps, at one point, we were told by another that we were useless, that we had no value. Or, we have deduced that on our own.

If you were told you were worthless, let me just say, it was a lie. It is possible that whomever told you that was actually feeling it about themselves. They were feeling worthless themselves, and in their pain, lashed out in agony and frustration, spouting it to you.

The fact is, we each have importance and merit, simply because we exist on this planet. We each have value. Let me say that another way. You have value.

Everything about you has value because everything about you helps others in some way or another. When you are on top of your game and in a positive space, being of use to others, you are helping them to grow their sense of worth and value. That is being of service.

Even when you are being negative and/or hurtful to others, it can be a learning experience for the other person. They can look at your behavior as an example of how they do not wish to be in the world. This can act as a motivator to some, as they then strive to act in kindness and love to others.

There are those, however, who, when exposed to negative behavior from others, begin to believe they are useless and worthless. If that describes you, use even this as a learning experience. Look at yourself and ponder what is leading you to that conclusion. Ferret out what it is that you believe about yourself that makes you feel that worthlessness.

Then try this exercise. Think of one thing that you love to do, the one thing that makes your heart sing when you are doing it. You may or may not do it well, but time may slip away when you do it.

Consider that this one thing is your gift, something you were gifted, something you were intended to have or to be like in order to share with the world. This is your light that Spirit intends for you to gift to others, simply by doing it or being a certain way. 

Now, wear humbly that thing which you love to do, your gift, and go be of service to another. Shed your feelings of worthlessness and stop playing small. Instead, play big, as there is someone out there waiting to receive your gift. They are waiting to receive you in all of your glory and goodness.

The choice is yours. Playing big is the way to peace and playing small will keep you in misery. Which way do you choose? 



Overcoming Feelings of Worthlessness

As we move along in the book, we come to the second topic, that of feelings of worthlessness. These first four topics are accountings of the difficult and challenging spaces in which I lived, prior to moving forward in my journey.

The Feeling of Being Worthless

Corner of Worthlessness

I have learned, and feel quite certain, that it is necessary for me to acknowledge and feel those difficult emotions. It allows me to then grieve them, and to move forward in my heart. Such is the case with my feelings of worthlessness.

Many people do not feel this emotion, which always amazes me, for much of my life I felt worthless. I thought it was something everyone experienced. I believe it stemmed from the many messages I received that translated to my worthlessness, not being worth anything.

I say “stemmed” because I no longer feel worthless. But, as the verse that accompanies this photo says, I felt like “a heap of broken debris in the corner.”

How did I overcome those feelings? First, I got sober and began to feel my emotions acutely. That was very painful and difficult, but I stuck through it anyway, anxiously awaiting the day I would feel better.

Second, I thought about the messages I had received and from whom I had received them. Not to be judgmental, but I realized that that person was emotionally and spiritually sick themselves, and I asked to be shown the way to be useful to them. This led me to compassion, which then led to forgiveness.

So, I had to honestly consider all the ways in which I was told or shown that I was worthless, and objectively consider their truth. What I realized was, the messages were an assault to my Being, not true at all.

Even with that knowledge, however, I still had the feelings of worthlessness. Over and over again for quite a while, I told myself that what I’d been told were lies, not the truth, that they were the words of a sick individual.

For me, it took time and continual awareness of those feelings of worthlessness cropping up. With the awareness, came the consciousness of their falsehood, their slight against my Being. I reminded myself again and again that is not who I am, that worthless does not describe who I am.

I began to write in my journal about my worth, with my left, non-dominant hand, and all sorts of things poured forth in support of my worth. I kept reminding myself of these points when I slipped back into feelings of worthlessness.

Then, one day, I just stopped feeling worthless. I began to feel I was worth something, shyly at first, but worth something. That feeling has grown slowly and hesitantly over the past few months, until one day, I could say aloud, Carolyn, you are a person of great worth! What a freeing realization that has been for me!

So, I say to all of you who have feelings of worthlessness that you are actually a Being of great worth and value. You may not feel convinced, yet, over time, perhaps you can discover that it is so. If you’ve healed from feelings of worthlessness, what worked for you? Please share it so it can be useful to others.