Rewards of Sobriety

December 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Good morning on this foggy morning in the Bay Area. I was sitting on the front enclosed porch with my coffee, watching the day awaken, and the sky got a pink glow to it as the sun rose. Pretty soon, I was surrounded in pink. It was beautiful.

That is one of the biggest rewards of sobriety – being able to enjoy a sunrise without being hung over. I love not having hangovers. Used to be that I awoke and was badly hung over for about 6 hours, so much so that I couldn’t function, had to eat hot burritos from Taco Bell or a greasy thigh from Kentucky Fried Chicken. After I felt better, I functioned until 5 pm, when I started drinking and did it all over again.

What a miserable existence that was. I was missing out on experiencing things like sunrises. But in sobriety, I enjoy them and so much more. In sobriety, I find I am able to open my heart in a very genuine way to others and to myself. The feeling of really caring about another, seeing them with gentleness and kindness, is so soothing to my spirit.

Compassion is another emotion I am able to feel in sobriety and that allows me to connect with others in a very intimate way. My soul is fed when that happens. It has led me to forgiveness.

Perhaps the biggest reward of sobriety is my ability to look at myself – my actions, words, behaviors – and be responsible for them, fully responsible. It is humbling at times as I realize how I’ve treated another poorly, or treated myself poorly, had negative thoughts about myself, beat myself up. Being responsible for myself and my behavior has led me to inner peace, as I can settle the score with myself and others as I go through the day.

The reward of sobriety for me also includes being able to care for others in a deep and meaningful way. It’s hard to describe the feeling that evokes, but it feels great! I also have much more patience, and I allow others to be themselves, accepting them as they are.

So, a lack of hangovers, feeling more kindness, gentleness and compassion toward others, being self-responsible, and generally being more aware of my physical surroundings are my rewards of sobriety.

What are the rewards of sobriety that you experience? Leave a comment and let us know.

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Quotes on Life with Images

October 23, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This, “quotes on life with images,” was a search term that found my website this morning. I recall using that as a keyword phrase, perhaps… What I what to really focus on is the term, because what I have to offer you today is quotes on life with images. They are taken from my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing.

Copyright (c) 2011 by Carolyn Jones

All Rights Reserved

Visions of Gratitude

When seen with eyes and heart that appreciate,

everything around and within me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.

Moments of Wonder

 Do you suppose there has always been such richness, such beauty in the world?

Perhaps it has been there all along,

waiting to be noticed, to be seen, with the eyes of the heart.

If we as individuals cannot speak to each other,

how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?

 Rather than take on everyone else’s dreams, desires, and expectations,

can I not look humbly at what has been placed before me?

Openness of Heart

We will grow through the barriers of our heart and

be able to fully experience the richness of life.

Promise of Peace

When I practice the principles of love for myself and others,

the gates of my heart melt into the glow of dusk,

and peace rises to greet me.

Balance of Serenity

I am serene, carried by the winds to places where

I am held in balance with great beauty and strength.

Burst of Joy

My heart bursts with joy!

 

 

 

 

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Practicing Humility to Stay Sober

June 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Warmth of Humility

Humility - showing a lack of pride or self-assertion, the state of being humble. Humble – being modest, not proud, showing a consciousness of one’s defects or shortcomings. When practiced, these behaviors all aid to help us stay sober.

Humiliation is not to be confused with humility. Humiliation is a drawing away in shame, to be made seen foolish and degraded. I used to mistake humiliation for humility when I became newly sober, being in great shame over who I was as a person, slinking away from others with a degraded demeanor.

Along the way, we learn that humility is a place of lightness and warmth. It is a result of us deciding to be modest, and of us giving acknowledgment and thanks to Source for our talents and gifts.  

It is a place of “being” after having seen and acknowledged our shortcomings, having recognized the humanness of our mistakes, just as much as it is the celebration of our accomplishments. Yet, we remain right-sized about it all, neither cocky nor shameful.

When we are in this space of humility, we have an energy about us, a glow. We are not braggarts about our accomplishments. Rather, we acknowledge others for their accomplishments without mentioning ours.

Once practiced for a while, there is a pleasing quality to this. We feel good about recognizing others for their good points because we have made them feel good about themselves. We are being of service, and that feels nice.

Today, spend the day acknowledging and praising others for their good points, the things that make them special, without any mention of your own accomplishments or talents. Keep your mind totally on the other person. Practice being modest. How does that feel for you? Do you feel that glow, that warmth of humility?

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Open Your Heart and Mind to Your Dream

April 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Openness of Heart

One of the ways in which you can live your dream is to open you heart and mind to it.

When you have a mindset that you cannot have your dream for this, this, or that reason, you negate the Universe’s efforts to bring it to you.

You see, when you make the declaration that you have a dream you are going to pursue, the Universe steps up to bring you what you need to fulfill it.

Open your heart and mind to yourself, to your capabilities, your talents… the things that are stupendous about you, the things that will make you successful at your dream.

Practice being honest about your dream… humble, yet courageous. Yes, you may have your doubts and this is the other side of sanity talking to you, getting you to look at things realistically.

However, there comes a time when looking realistically at your dream crosses the line and becomes negative self-talk, a series of put-downs. Be aware of when you start to do this. Ultimately, practice trust in the Universe, that your dream is your way to peace.

You cannot do these things when your heart and mind are closed to new possibilities, new wonders and gifts. Today, become aware of how open your heart and mind are to your dream. I invite you to fling wide open any gates to your heart that prevent you from doing this.

By now, your dream has become more than just an idea, perhaps. My heart is off to you… carry on. If you are not moving forward to realize your dream, I invite you to open your heart and mind to it, and to take action.

 

 

 

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Humility – I Offer You Mine

April 25, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I extend my humility to all of you. I intended to post every M-W-F, and here it is a week already since my last one. I just cannot seem to incorporate that schedule into my routine. In response, I am going to resume posting a daily blog. I know that worked for me. Hopefully, it works for you.

All along with my blogging, we have been discussing the topics from my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. I write about each topic in the order that it appears in the book of 42 topics. Once we complete all the topics, I start over again at the beginning of the book.

I did a recent series on sobriety which I plan to re-work and publish again soon. Meanwhile, we are talking about finding and living our dream(s). My most recent blog last Wednesday was on humility. I return to it again this morning, as I have some really fine things about my book to share with you.

A couple of  months ago, I entered two prestigious book award contests. I have received recent notification that my book received two coveted awards!

From the Eric Hoffer Book Awards, my book has received the distinction of the DiVinci Eye Award. This is awarded for the best cover art, and is presented to approximately twelve books. I say with the greatest humility, I designed the cover myself, took the photo that is on it, selected Zapfino font for the title… My designer added the subtitle and my name. I am humbled by the award.

The Nautilus Book Awards presented my book with a Silver Medal in the Gifts/Specialities category. This is so exciting for me, as the book is beginning to get the recognition that it deserves. Now, when you need a gift, you can think of Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. Hop on over and take a look. Click on “buy the book” to the left for the specific details.

For those of you in the San Francisco Bay Area, you may wish to come to a live presentation based on the book. I am presenting the free workshop, “How to Make Peace with Your Life” on Saturday, 4-28, from 10 am to noon, at the Embassy Suites San Rafael in CA 94903. My talk will focus on discovering the gates of your heart, tools to unlock the gates, and how to push the gates open, allowing abundant goodness to flow in. See you there!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Humility – Use It To Find Your Dream

April 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Warmth of Humility

When we think about following our dream, one tool we can use is humility. Defined as an absence of pride or self-assertion, humility is needed as we set out to follow our dream.

We use humility to find our dream when we modestly align ourselves with the divine in our life. From this mindset, we begin to realize that our dream is divinely created.

We look to the divine to lead us to our dream, and when we realize what that is, we follow it and we say thank you. We always want to thank the divine for bestowing upon us the blessing of our dream.

For our dream is truly a blessing. It is our gift to the world that the divine wants us to utilize. When we do, we shine. We glow and we prosper.

Rather than look to others and compare their actions and dreams with ours, we look to the divine for clues as to what our dream is. If we are having difficulty identifying it, the divine can show us the way, if we ask. When we move forward with our dream, in humility, we begin to get that much closer to peace in our lives.

Do you feel that tug at your heart strings, willing you to try something different, to fulfill your dream? If you do, move forward with humility, thank the divine for having the dream. When you do, the divine will send forth gifts to help you reach that dream. The key is to demonstrate humility. When you do this, you will begin to know peace. 

What are your dreams? Are you fulfilling them, playing big, or are you playing small, keeping your dream close to your heart, but not moving forward with it?


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Practicing Humility to Stay Sober

February 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Warmth of Humility

Humility – showing a lack of pride or self-assertion, the state of being humble. Humble – being modest, not proud, showing a consciousness of one’s defects or shortcomings. When practiced, these behaviors all aid to help us stay sober.

Humiliation is not to be confused with humility. Humiliation is a drawing away in shame, to be made seen foolish and degraded. I used to mistake humiliation for humility when I became newly sober, being in great shame over who I was as a person, slinking away from others with a degraded demeanor.

Somewhere along the way, we learn that humility is a place of lightness and warmth. It is a result of us deciding to be modest, and of us giving acknowledgment and thanks to our Source for our talents and gifts.  

It is a place of “being” after having seen and acknowledged our shortcomings, having recognized the humanness of our mistakes, just as much as it is the celebration of our accomplishments. Yet, we remain right-sized about it all, neither cocky nor shameful.

When we are in this space of humility, we have an energy about us, a glow. We are not braggarts about our accomplishments. Rather, we acknowledge others for their accomplishments without mentioning ours.

Once practiced for a while, there is a pleasing quality to this. We feel good about recognizing others for their good points because we have made them feel good about themselves. We are being of service, and that feels nice.

Today, spend the day acknowledging and praising others for their good points, the things that make them special, without any mention of your own accomplishments or talents. Keep your mind totally on the other person. Practice being modest. How does that feel for you? Do you feel that glow, that warmth of humility?

 

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Practicing Humility to Stay Sober

February 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Warmth of Humility

Humility – showing a lack of pride or self-assertion, the state of being humble. Humble –  being modest, not proud, showing a consciousness of ones defects or shortcomings. When practiced, these behaviors all aid to help us stay sober.

Humiliation is not to be confused with humility. Humiliation is a drawing away in shame, to be made seen foolish and degraded. I used to mistake humiliation for humility when I became newly sober, being in great shame over who I was as a person, slinking away from others with a degraded demeanor.

Somewhere along the way, we learn that humility is a place of lightness and warmth. It is a result of us deciding to be modest, and of us giving acknowledgment and thanks to our Source for our talents and gifts.  

It is a place of “being” after having seen and acknowledged our shortcomings, having recognized the humanness of our mistakes, just as much as it is the celebration of our accomplishments. Yet, we remain right-sized about it all, neither cocky nor shameful.

When we are in this space of humility, we have an energy about us, a glow. We are not braggarts about our accomplishments. Rather, we acknowledge others for their accomplishments without mentioning ours.

Once practiced for a while, there is a pleasing quality to this. We feel good about recognizing others for their good points because we have made them feel good about themselves. We are being of service, and that feels nice.

Today, spend the day acknowledging and praising others for their good points, the things that make them special, without any mention of your own accomplishments or talents. Keep your mind totally on the other person. Practice being modest. How does that feel for you? Do you feel that glow, that warmth of humility?

 

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Life Offers A Realm of Possibilities

January 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Realm of Possibilities

Realm of Possibilities

“If I climb the steps, anything is possible. Anything.”

This is the photo that appears on the cover of my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. It is representative of the many possibilities available to us if we climb the steps.

And what are the steps we are to climb? All of the things we have been discussing in this blog… first surrender, then awareness of the world around us. We next climb the step into trust of a power greater than us, which leads us to courage and humility. 

With honesty, openness, and willingness, we have the keys to continue up the stairway and we commit to our journey. We conduct a self-appraisal to discover our strengths and our weaknesses, doing so with gentleness and compassion.

These are things which we show for others around us, and we add in kindness. Once we have learned how to show compassion for ourselves and others, we are led to forgiveness, also of ourselves and others. We finally are able to accept ourselves and our lives as they are, and we feel hope. 

We persevere with patience, while we respect and acknowledge others. We treat them without judgment, and we engage in dialogue with them. When we do all of these things, we will experience grace and wonder. Throw into the mix a lot of gratitude, and the world is our oyster. We are prepared to do anything, as we will have grown stronger.

If we do all these things, we will discover when we get to the top of the stairs, that there are vast numbers of possibilities available to us. All we have to do is quietly take note. We can begin to bask in peace and our sobriety will be easier to maintain.

Today, while you practice all the principles of living we have discussed, find yourself at the top of the stairs and see how many possibilities there are for you. You will be delighted with the choices you have.

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Do Not Become Discouraged If You Fail In Your Efforts

January 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This morning I will write about trying, patience, and perseverance. If you make an attempt at something and feel you have not succeeded, do not become discouraged!

Instead, try to look at your attempts as lessons. When you do not obtain the desired result, think of your efforts as designs from the Universe for your growth, learning, and healing. 

Rolls of Perseverance

Rolls of Perseverance

“I struggle to not become discouraged, or to think I am a failure because I have not achieved in my first few attempts the vision of myself as I wish to be.

“Instead, I try to hold tightly to that vision, awaiting my efforts to catch up with the way I am seen by my heart. Through practice and perseverance, I am learning and growing.”

From this verse, it is evident that I have struggled with my failures. That was part of my path in sobriety, of my healing.

I can tell you that in my life today, I do not get discouraged very often; I just keep trying to do what I need to get done. I keep doing the next indicated thing that appears in front of me that is needed to reach a goal.

Over time, with continued perseverance, you will succeed. Your success will either be that you reach your original goal, or it will be the realization that the Universe does not wish for you to go in a certain direction.

Either way, this is a success. With your sobriety, there is a saying in the recovery community to not quit before the miracle happens. Keep working at it; persevere. Try again and again to achieve the person you truly want to be in your heart, whether that is a sober person, or one at peace.

It will come, really, it will. Do not become discouraged. Gently move forward with the tasks at hand, but don’t force things. Things that are meant to be will just fall into place with little effort.

If you get discouraged, it does nothing else but draw negative energy to you, which becomes a magnet for more negative experiences. Rather, with graciousness and humility, try again. Adjust your approach or your goal. Perhaps it is unrealistic or unreachable. You will be the judge of that as you assess the results of your efforts.

But the key is, do no become discouraged. Keep trying with perseverance.

Today, look at what you call a failure as actually a lesson to be learned, brought to you by the Universe. Don’t you find that your energy level remains higher when you approach it from that light?

 

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Getting Past Hopelessness

January 12, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This morning we continue on in my book and reach hope. We have now experienced ways for getting past hopelessness.

Ray of Hope

Ray of Hope

“A ray of light across the bars of my being lights my way, instills hope in my heart.” This is the verse that accompanies the photo on the left.

Hopelessness is defined as having no expectation of an event occurring, being despondent. Despondent implies being in very low spirits due to a loss of hope and a sense of futility about continuing our efforts.

Hope, on the other hand, is defined as a feeling that what is wanted will happen, a desire accompanied by expectation. It is hope which we want to cultivate in order to dispel hopelessness.

We have come a long way in our journey and have learned several tools and ways to act and behave that will be useful in combatting hopelessness. We have learned to surrender the pretense that everything is fine with us and we have discussed awakening to awareness of what is going on around and within us.

We have learned to trust in a power greater than ourselves, and to have courage and humility. Ways to treat ourselves with such things as gentleness, kindness, and compassion have been discussed.

We have become honest about ourselves and heave learned to practice willingness, to commit to the journey, to move forward. Finally, we have learned the tremendous tool of how to conduct a self-appraisal. Through that appraisal, we have come to forgiveness of both others and ourselves. Do you see how far we’ve come?

Now, after going through what we have, we have learned to accept ourselves. All of these things in combination provide for us a ray of hope that life can and will get better for us. Hopefully, it already has begun to do so.

We focus on that ray of hope as we work on getting past hopelessness, allowing hope to grow. We take a deep breath, reveling in this new-found hope, and we allow it to blossom.

Today, take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come, and begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, the way past hopelessness to sobriety and inner peace.

 

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Shame and Humility – Humility – Part II

December 29, 2011 by 2 Comments

Welcome to my blog. Yesterday and today we welcome guest blogger Stan Stewart, who is talking about humility, the next topic in my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. 

…continued from yesterday’s introduction…

shame
Besides fear, for me the most immobilizing feeling is shame. At least it feels that way.

When I feel shame, my most common expression of it is to hang my head and do nothing. Well, “doing nothing” is relative. What I do is judge myself or distract myself internally — usually with numbness.

I’m sure that shame could have kept me from embarassment or worse when I was younger. Suffice it to say that as an adult, shame does me no good.

When I re-discovered humility in spiritual readings recently, I had an epiphany that being humble looked similar to shame in some ways — at least on the surface. Both are about how “OK” I think I am. The step to humility is about realizing that I don’t need to think of myself as great in order to be okay.

The major difference is that shame and blame are so often tied together. If I think I’m being blamed (or judged, questioned, etc.), I may respond by feeling shame. This means that there is an external connection that I’m making to the catalyst for the shame. Ironically, while thinking that I’m being blamed, I then blame that same source for shaming me. So shame is other directed.
humility
Humility, on the other hand, has an internal source — and I’m thinking that “internal” can include self and divine influences. I am humble when I determine that I do not have to puff myself up in a situation or I am inspired (i.e., spirit has a hand in it) to address a situation with whatever I can bring to it, but without assuming that I am what the situation needs.

Said another way, when I come with attentive patience, I am humble.

My realization allowed me to see shame and humility as opposite sides of the same coin. When shame threatens to numb me out, I can invite humility as a spiritual practice to keep the questions internal, remove blame and accept responsibility. Time will tell how well I will be able to embrace this humble place.

May your shame be engulfed in humility in a way that comforts your inner child and welcomes the fullness of your adult to engage in the world.

*******************************************************************************************

Guest blogger, Stan Stewart, is a musician, teacher, and technologist. As a certified InterPlay leader and lover of improvised music, Stan teaches and seeks integration of the whole self — experiencing body/mind/spirit as a whole rather than split parts of self — in the present moment.

He says, “What is happening for all of me right now is what I have to work with. I do my best to seek the kind of awareness that will allow me to experience and use all that’s available to me in this moment; and that can inspire me creatively and in my service to the world.”

Carolyn and Stan met on Twitter and now take their connection to the blogosphere with this guest post.

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Accepting What Is Can Bring You Peace

December 9, 2011 by 2 Comments
Path of Acceptance

Path of Acceptance

“When we become entwined with our path, the steps become as soft as velvet, and the ascent flows smoothly.” Ah, the result of accepting what is… a life that flows.

I used to think that accepting what is was giving up, failing, a resignation, defeat, and I would walk away from letting things be with shame.

Then at some point, I began to realize the difference between acceptance of life as it was, and giving up or letting go with shame and defeat. Letting go in acceptance can be a pleasant feeling.

Acceptance is a place you can get to by saying to yourself that you have done all you can do in any given situation, and now it is time to let the powers that be do the work, let flow the results. You can let go with grace.

Acceptance does have a component of action to it, because if there is something which can be done in a situation, you must take that action. Then, leave the outcome alone and don’t try to force it.

When the outcome is known, understand that this is how things are and there is nothing more you can do to change the situation. Humbly accept that this is how things are going to be, and go on about your day without regrets.

When you can do this, and not feel defeated, there is a great deal of peace to be gained, as you are not expending your energy trying to change everything to your liking. You just trust and believe that things are working out as they are intended to be, even if you don’t see the reason right now.

Accepting what is does not mean you have to like what is happening; you just admit that that’s how things are going right now. Then, you pay attention to whether or not some action is required on your part and you take that action.

How are you at accepting what is? Do you push against what is happening, such that you are uncomfortable? How do you reach acceptance? Leave a comment and let us know…

 

 

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How to Cultivate Differences with Others

December 6, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As we return to the book topics, the next one is how we can cultivate differences with others.

The verse which accompanies this image talks about how we ask, require, and demand that others be like us and share our beliefs. But that is comparing one to another, and that practice squashes the spirit of the one being compared.

Cultivation of Differences

It goes on to note that we are like the gates. “Although similar in design, what thrives in one spot does not grow in another… One is not more beautiful than another. Each has beauty in its own right, if we will only look… it we will only see…”

The verse to this photo was written in 2002, early in sobriety, when I was dealing with the issue of always having been compared to my sisters and always having been found deficient.

That has had lasting and devastating effects on me, as I have struggled with comparing myself to others. When I engage in this behavior, I always find myself on the short end, “less than” the other, deficient in some way.

Whether we are different in color, customs, or talents, we can cultivate differences with those in our world. We can stop comparing, one to the next, and see each person as unique, with special attributes.

Perhaps, the first thing we can do when we start to cultivate differences between those around us is to refrain from comparing ourselves to others. Instead, we can grow and cultivate our own uniqueness, celebrate our own differences, standiing tall in who we are.

We show humility in who we are, but we claim our goodness, our specialness; we feed our spirit when we do this. Perhaps, when our soul is filled and we feel confident about who we are, we are then free to look at another’s differences in a new light. We are free to grow the differences that we find, to celebrate another’s spirit.

Perhaps, this is the one main thing we can do to allow us to cultivate differences with others, and that is to feel confident in ourselves. Ah, the issue of a self-appraisal comes up again, and we are asked to look closely at who we are, including our special gifts.

If we consider ourselves to be good people, then we are much more apt to think good of another, and to be interested in cultivating the differences we have discovered. We don’t have to defend to another who we are when we feel good about ourselves. We can putter around in our garden, delighting in discovering those around us and their unique gifts.

How do you cultivate differences with those people around you who are different than you? Does it help to have a firm belief in who you are? Share with us the technique you use to cultivate differences with others.

 

 

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Respecting Others and Ourselves As Individuals

November 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Sometimes, we as individuals do not respect others as individuals. So, our topic today is respect of individuality.

The verse that accompanies the photograph in the book starts, “We ask of others to follow our dreams, to be like us. Why?”

Respect of Individuality

Respect of Individuality

Why, indeed. Why do we think that what we are and what we do is what others should be and do? When we expect another to be like us, to follow our dreams, it thwarts the skills and talents of another, sending the message that who they are is not good enough, or simply not good.

Did you experience that at any point in your life? In childhood, in a marriage? I did. I was constantly compared to my sisters, who were academic. I was artistic, so in the comparison, I failed miserably.

It has taken my lifetime to revert the belief that I was not a good person. Even still, I struggle with feelings of not being good enough.

So, what’s the solution? How can we look at another and celebrate their differences as individuals? We can do just that. We can take special note of another’s individuality and respect it, celebrate it.

We can encourage another’s individuality, urging them to greatness in the areas in which they excel and are interested.

At the same time that we are respecting others as individuals, we can respect our own individuality. Oh, yes, for we – you – are each a unique individual, worthy of celebration and respect.

Take the time to think about all the things about yourself that make you an individual, all your special talents and gifts. Then, consider that these are the gifts you are intended to bring to the world.

Be willing to humbly share these gifts with everyone around you. When you do, you will begin to feel at peace with yourself and the world; it will bring you a feeling of completeness, wholeness. 

It is my hope that you will begin to see others as individuals, allowing them outside of any box in which you have placed them. And I hope that you begin to celebrate your uniqueness, allowing the world to see who you are as an individual.

 

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Inspirational Quotes About Life and Hope

November 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Ray of Hope

Ray of Hope

One of the inspirational quotes about life and hope for today is, “A ray of light across the bars of my being lights my way, instills hope in my heart.”

Another is, “You feel hope when you feel that what you want will happen.” That is Webster’s definition…

For you who is learning to love yourself and to overcome low self-esteem, depression, worthlessness, or despair, you begin to believe that you can overcome these things, that you can feel self-love.

Now that you have seen yourself with kindness and compassion, forgiven yourself and others, learned to have humility and willingness, and accepted yourself as you are, you realize that you have hope for better times, a better feeling about yourself and your life.

You have hope that you can move forward in life, that inner peace and happiness can be yours. Breathe in intention – to move forward in your life. Breathe out manifestation – you experience peace and happiness today.

All it takes is that little ray of hope that you see in the photograph, and soon the sun shines even more brightly across the bars of your being, dissolving doubt, washing away fear. You bathe in that ray and drink in the hope that it brings to your soul. 

That’s right… go ahead and drink in hope, relish it, revel in it. Let it open your heart. Believe in yourself and let your light shine in your world and the world around you. 

Can you feel that hope? Are you breathing in intention and breathing out manifestation? Let your soul be lightened and washed clear. Is your soul feeling more clear? It is my hope that it is. Now, have a peaceful and happy day as you bask in hope today… then tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next… one day at a time…

 

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Building Self Confidence by Accepting Yourself

November 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today we’re going to talk about building self confidence by accepting yourself. This is the next topic in the book, and the verse is:

Building self confidence through Acceptance of Self

Acceptance of Self

“Have we really changed throughout the years, or do we merely hold within our heart and mind and soul the essence of who we are, while our physical form changes?

Can we recapture the delightful being we have always been, as we allow and celebrate our strengths, our flaws, our spirit?”

You start out as a delightful being, delighted yourself with the world and your surroundings. Over time, you are hurt by others, perhaps told in one way or another that you are not good enough, that you are worthless. You are belittled, criticized. These things erode your self confidence.

You start believing all the negative things you have been told or been shown about yourself, and you start putting yourself down. You are not what someone else wants you to be, so you begin not accepting who you are. 

These things are all crazy-making within your heart, your mind. You end up being a confused and hurt person, lacking confidence and wanting to be someone different than you are. This is damaging to your soul.

What if you were to start over and reclaim yourself and who you are? Re-examine the delightful things about yourself and applaud them. Identify your strong points, just as you identify your weak points needing improvement.

Accept that it is all who you are. No need to be ashamed for your weak areas, your negative behavior. Accept that that is who you are and be willing to change those things, but know that that is who you are in the moment.

The more you run away from who you are at this very moment in time, the less likely you will be able to accept yourself and to reclaim self confidence. Seriously, accept that you are that generous, kind person, just as you are a selfish, hurtful person sometimes. Own it – all of it. 

If you do not identify and accept who you are at the current time, if you are always denying your bad points, you cannot make changes in yourself. It is in correcting your bad and weak points that you can help grow your self confidence.

When you do your self-appraisal, have the courage and humility to admit to the good that you are and that you do. Go ahead. Praise yourself, pat yourself on the back. Allow seeing your positive points to add to your self confidence. Stand tall in who you really are. Be honest with the world.

Remember to be humble, though. This exercise is not meant to emphasize your superiority, but to enhance the way in which you see yourself so you can raise your self confidence.

Do good for others. This will raise your self confidence immensely. There is nothing like seeing the look of appreciation on another’s face when you do something kind and giving for them.

In short, reclaim that delightful spirit that you are. Take responsibility for your flaws. Do good for others. Most importantly, find kindness, gentleness, compassion, and forgiveness for yourself.

How have these actions helped to raise your self confidence? Have you accepted who you are in both your darkness and your light? Has doing esteem-able acts helped you with your self confidence? Leave a comment. Let us know.

 

 

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Being Yourself and Standing Strong in Who You Are

November 20, 2011 by Leave a Comment

“Perhaps, rather than thinking I must make my morals, truth, and integrity match another’s, I can determine what resonates with my own heart. When it does, I have the strength of a pillar.”

Being Yourself and Standing Strong

Pillar of Strength

This is the verse that accompanies today’s image and topic, being an individual, being yourself and standing strong in who you are. First, however, you need to determine who you really are at your core.

This can be a challenging task, especially if you live in an environment where who you are is not valued and, in fact, is criticized or demeaned.

I lived in such an environment in my marriage, after leaving a home where I was criticized and demeaned during childhood, so for me, it was a lifetime. I learned to be whatever and whomever the other person wanted me to be. I was very good at it.

Therefore, it was very difficult, after I left my 20 year marriage, to determine what my own values and truths were. I was only able to figure this out by staying sober and sticking through the often excruciating emotional times, until I came out on the other side. So have faith; you will come out on the other side

I recommend journalling to ferret out your strengths, your morals, your truths. That worked well for me, anyway. It allows you to write anything you think or feel without the fear of having it criticized or demeaned, thus devaluing you.

This is a time when you want to be totally honest about what you see. If you are confused about your morals, your truths, set the intention to discover them, and go about your day with them in your mind and heart. When you have an idea, jot it down in your journal. Expand upon it later.

Once you discover your truths and integrity, try to gently express yourself to those around you, sticking up for yourself and your opinions. I recognize that this can lead to arguments with a spouse.

I also recognize that sometimes it is not safe to do this, and in that situation, perhaps it is best to keep your thoughts in your journals, but know in your heart what they are. Then, when you have gotten out of the dangerous situation, you can express yourself to others. Do the best you can in a given situation, and keep yourself safe.

Be fair to yourself when you are doing a self-appraisal. This is where honesty, willingness, and openness come in to play. Be willing to look at yourself with an open mind and heart, thus discovering what your strengths, morals, and truths are. Be honest by not downplaying who you are. It is not bragging or arrogant to honestly admit to your strengths. Rather, here is an opportunity to practice humility.

Do you know your strengths and morals, your truths and integrity? Do you project them into the world? Do you feel the inner strength that produces when you do so? Does it help you find peace? I truly hope it does. I hope for you to resonate with your truths, morals, and integrities so that you are being yourself and standing strong in who you are..

 

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How to Commit to the Journey

November 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today we are talking about how to commit to the journey you are on, whether that is of awareness, healing, growth, or recovery. The verse begins, “The gate stands open, beckoning me to climb.”

The Steps to Commitment

Journey of Commitment

It goes on to talk about how each step leads further in your journey, offering the opportunity to examine yourself and your life – leaves that have fallen, leaves that will fall, and buds yet to form.

Once you begin the climb and commit to it, you recognize and accept that you will experience both rocky and smooth times, that it will be positive and negative, easy and hard. This is just how life is. It cannot be escaped.

You commit anyway, because you know that the reward of the journey is in each blossom and each leaf along the way. That IS the journey… the blossoms and leaves along the way just keep changing faces as one part of your journey ebbs and another flows. The journey changes, again and again, as you learn, heal, and grow.

You see, when you learn how to commit to the journey, you do not know what experiences and lessons will come your way, but you agree to yourself that you will stick it through. The experiences may be terribly painful, even unbearable. Yet, if you stick through it, you will heal from the pain with time and effort on your part. You will find your way to peace.

If you decide to commit to the journey of healing, I can only offer you what worked for me. I found it useful to engage in activities such as reaching out for help from therapy and support groups, and reading books about the type of pain with which I was dealing. Journaling about my deepest, most agonizing feelings was most useful.

Finding a close friend or confidant to talk with about my thoughts was also extremely helpful. That person became my spiritual coach and learning to rely on that power greater than myself became indispensable.  Learning to use all  the tools we have discussed, such as honesty, openness, willingness, humility, courage… these all helped.

It was most helpful to be useful to others, as that gave me a sense of mattering to someone in the world. What I discovered when I did all these things was that my journey’s face changed from pain and deep despair to that of joy and inner peace. Now, unpleasant situations occur, and I am curious to uncover the lesson to which the journey is guiding me.

I hope I have given you a sense of purpose for your continued journey, and let you know that there is great reward, even in the hard times.

 

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What Is Humility

November 12, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As we move through the book, the next topic we come to is humility. You may ask, what is humility? For me, it is a feeling of warmth, for when felt, it is a warm glow inside.

What Is Humility?

Warmth of Humility

It is interesting to note that courage and humility are two tools to use when discovering the resiliency and beauty of your spirit, which is what we’re all about on this blog. Both require action on your part.

So, what is humility? It is the state of being humble – the absence of pride or self-assertion. It is not the same as humiliation, which is what I first thougt it was. Oh, no. It is much more pleasing a feeling, not negative at all.

Humility is having or showing a consciousness of one’s defects or shortcomings. It is the display of modesty. When practiced, you feel neither small nor large, but right-sized.

Why is it an action word? Why does it require action on your part? Well, you make the conscious choice to incorporate its practice into your life and then you take action to put that choice into practice. You learn to neither tout or brag about your accomplishments nor minimize yourself. You demonstrate and practice self-love.

You see the blessings and gifts you have been given and give thanks for them. You can give credit to a power greater than yourself for their presence. See how trust ties in here? It’s all related…

You take action by participating in your blessings and gifts as you engage in what you have been given, in your talents. When you do this, there is a warmth that emanates from deep within. There is a deep appreciation of self and the power that gave you what you are. When you practice humility, there is a deep feeling of peace and joy.

What are your gifts and talents for which you are humble? How do you feel your humility? Is it a wonderful glow of warmth, like the warmth of the brass in the photograph? I invite you to share with us what it’s like for you.

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The Key of Willingness

February 17, 2011 by 3 Comments

Key of Willingness

Willingness. The key of willingness. It is the key to all else. It allows us to practice humility, openness of heart and mind, as well as honesty. It is how one gives themselves the permission to open up to all that is around and in them.

When I feel willing, I feel it in my body. There is a light, airy feeling at my core. Emotionally, I am excited to hear what another will say. I feel relief at being honest with myself and others around me, so I don’t spend the energy hiding who I am. I feel at home, as my heart opens. All I have to do is make the decision to be willing.

Once I make the decision to be willing, the other things just seem to fall into place. I learned to be willing during the course of becoming sober. Initially, I had to be willing to go to any length to get sober. I was so beaten down, that was not hard to decide to do. After making the decision, I seemed to be graced with the ability to become humble, honest and open. A whole new world of beauty and peace unfolded.

Make the decision to become willing to open your mind and heart to one new thing today. What did you experience when you did this?

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Carolyn CJ Jones is the author and photographer of the book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. More about the book can be seen above under “The Book,”  or in the videos on the sidebar. “About Me and My Work” above reveals more about her. Carolyn is now offering limited edition professional prints, either as prints, matted, or framed which can be viewed above. February’s limited edition print isVisions of Gratitude.

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Open Your Heart and Mind

February 13, 2011 by 2 Comments

Openness of Heart

It is a decision you make to open your heart and mind. Once made, the rewards are tremendous. It offers a much more peaceful state of mind and body, at least, that is what I have experienced. You are not scrambling to always be right, nor to have to “one-up” others. You learn much about situations and about yourself.

What prevents us from opening our mind? In my experience, it was insecurity in who I was as a person. It manifested in the defensiveness with which I approached others when they were trying to tell me something. When I entered sobriety and learned to just be quiet and listen, I discovered a whole world of knowledge that was added to my own. I had to practice humility, and willingness to be open. The result was I struggled less, operated with less defensiveness, which drained my energy, and felt great about learning more than I knew.

Before I was able to open my mind, I had to open my heart and see myself with compassion. I had to acknowledge this frightened woman who was protecting herself from gettingt her heart hurt… again. When I let go of the need to shield myself, to protect my heart, I discovered the tender spirit of others. My relationship with them strengthened and went deeper than ever before. Physically, I was much more relaxed and my stomach unclenched. Emotionally, I felt one with others, communicating on another plane.

All of this happened because I made the decision to open my heart and mind. In what ways do you open your heart and mind?

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Carolyn CJ Jones is the author, photographer, and publisher of the book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. The photographs, which won an Honorable Mention in the 2010 San Francisco Book Festival, are now being offered as limited edition prints. February’s print is Visions of Gratitude and may be seen above under Buy Prints. The book is available under Buy Book or from Amazon.

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Humility

January 31, 2011 by 5 Comments

Warmth of Humility

Humility – the act of being humble, of being modest and unpretentious, the lack of pride or self-assertion. It is not having to always be right, and, as I learned in sobriety, it is being right-sized. It is not, as I once thought, being humiliated.

What does it feel like to have humility? For me, it is a quietness within myself, as I sit back and watch the ways in which my humanness presents itself. It feels as though I am open to hear what others have to say and suggest. When I am being humble, I am teachable. It is a calm and secure place to be.

Perhaps, when we are feeling insecure and uncertain about ourselves, it is difficult to have humility. In that case, we often feel the need to tout ourselves, to brag about our strengths, almost as if we are trying to convince ourselves and others that we are okay. But we are okay anyway, simply because we are, simply because we exist.

If we relax and have this knowingness about ourselves, giving up the need to always be right, to brag about ourselves, it is a gentler place in which to live. We can take in and learn from others, and expand our horizons, improve ourselves. We become easier to live with, to be around. Practicing humility brings us peace.

What does humility look like for you?

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Carolyn CJ Jones is the author and photographer of the book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. More about the book can be seen above under “The Book.” “About Me and My Work” above reveals more about her. Carolyn is now offering limited edition professional prints, either as prints, matted, or framed which can be viewed above under “Buy Prints.” February’s limited edition print is Visions of Gratitude. Only fifty prints will be reproduced.

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Do You Demonstrate Willingness In Your Life?

August 3, 2010 by 5 Comments

Key of Willingness

In the book, the verse that accompanies this image talks about the fact that even a small amount of willingness, the size of a keyhole, is all that is necessary to open the door. In sobriety, it is said that honesty, openness, and willingness are indispensable. They go hand-in-hand.

What does willingness look like, feel like? Because it is a conscious choice one makes to be willing, it requires action. One must constantly remind oneself that they are willing for anything… to consider other’s opinions, to look at the world and oneself with new eyes, to live differently, to change. The list is endless. When one practices the principle of willingness, there is a clarity that one feels, an aliveness that makes everything exciting and new. It’s as if we are children, our face turned eagerly forward, open to everything that may come along.

Do you demonstrate willingness in your life? It requires the practice of humility, as one gives up the need to be right about everything, the need to always have an opinion, or to think one’s beliefs are the only beliefs worthy of consideration. It requires openness, as one makes the decision to live with an open mind, anxious to consider all points of view, anxious to live with an open heart.

These decisions one makes all require action, not only in the decision-making process, but in the execution of the decision to be open, to be willing.

Once one becomes willing, doors open wide to our efforts, to others and all sorts of gates inside open up. It is an awesome experience. Life becomes a kinder and gentler place from which to live. Do you practice willingness? What does it look like for you in your life?

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As the author and photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers inspiration and empowerment to those in transition, to those on a quest of  wellness for the mind/body/spirit. View the video about the book, which is located to the right of this blog. Buy the book from Carolyn’s website and receive free shipping and your personally autographed copy.

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How To Open Your Heart and Mind

August 2, 2010 by 5 Comments

Openness of Heart

We spend our lives behind the barrier of a closed gate, protected from the hurt and pain that might come to us.

If we allow our hearts to open, we will see things in a different light.

We will grown through the barriers of our heart and be able to fully experience the richness of life.

We stay behind our gate to protect our heart. What does it take in your life to open your heart and mind? Are they already open? How can you open them if they are not already? As the verse above says, we close our hearts from pain and fear of further pain.

But where does that get us? Lonely and isolated, perhaps bitter and resentful. We want to take the chance and open our heart, but fear getting it stomped on, once again. The problem is, we need to open our heart just a little to let the light in.  Once we open the door of our heart just a little, we experience that there is not pain. In fact, we come to realize how much love exists in the world that we are missing, and we become able to further open our heart once we experience this.

If we practice expressing gratitude for everything in our life, we begin to see our heart open. We become able to consciously choose to see those around us with gentleness and kindness and to extend them in return. This is how we begin to open our heart. Our relationships become richer, more satisfying, which prompts us to open our heart even further. We are on the road to living with an open heart and it just keeps getting better.

And what of living with an open mind? When we couple humility with an open heart, we are able to approach situations wondering about all the facts we encounter. We don’t have to be “right” about everything. We thirst for knowledge that is different than our own. We look at things with new eyes, and it brings peace of mind.

What are the ways in which you open your heart and mind to the world around you? Does it feel richer?

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As the author and photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers inspiration and empowerment to those on a quest of  wellness for the mind/body/spirit. View the additional information about the book to the right of this blog. Buy the book from Carolyn’s website and receive free shipping.

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Humility Is The Opposite of Haughtiness

July 19, 2010 by 3 Comments

Warmth of Humility

Rather than take on everyone else’s dreams, desires, and expectations, can I not humbly look at what has been placed before me?

Will I continue to look at others’ needs and expectations, to what is presented to them in their lives, or will I notice what is in front of me, feel the warmth of appreciation and graciously say thank you for what I am given, for who and what I am, and participate?

Humility is the opposite of haughtiness. It is the act of being humble. And what is being humble? The Wisdom Words From the Bridge Group defines it as not being a know-it-all, not thinking you know everything, not bragging. It is a state of willingness to listen to another’ point of view without having to tout yourself and your beliefs because you don’t feel so self-important.

Humility is not crawling along on the ground like a word, nor is it being humiliated, feeling humiliation.

One who is humble and not displaying haughtiness is a gentle person, filled with grace, actively listening to those around him/her, not finding the need to change the topic to themselves. This is a skill taught when one becomes sober, as the act of humility is crucial in being able to maintain sobriety.

From within, one who is humble might feel quiet and calm about themselves, actively interested in hearing what others are doing and saying. It is a state of being in the world that brings peace and joy to self and others.

How are you humble in your daily life? In what way do you display humility instead of haughtiness?

I’d like to thank you for visiting my weblog. I am blogging about each topic as it appears in my book. The verse and image you see at the beginning of each blog are from the book. See the book’s interior by clicking on the bookbuzzr book or watching the video, both of which are on the sidebar of this site. The book is available for advance purchase on this site by clicking on the button, “Buy the Book.” Each copy purchased on this site will by signed personally for you, and shipping is free. Enjoy!

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How to Access the Possibilities of Life

May 12, 2010 by 1 Comment

Realm of Possibilities

“If I climb the steps, anything is possible. Anything.”

This gate caught my attention because it was flung open as far as it could go. The stairs welcomed me, beckoned me to climb amidst the intricate and pleasing stone work. I marveled at the retaining ability of the wall. I wondered what was at the top of the stairs, wondered what I would find if I climbed…

Interesting how, for me, this gate and those thoughts relate to life. The Universe welcomes me to join in and participate. There are pleasing sights everywhere I look. There are amazing examples of engineering and artwork, merged in purpose and design.

I wonder what is going to happen in my life… this summer, next week, tomorrow, this afternoon. I cannot see where the path will lead, and still, I am asked to trust. Isn’t that a lot like life?

Once I trust, once I become committed to the journey, committed to really observing what is around me, I see that the possibilities for action are endless. Whether it’s a change in attitude, a belief about myself or another, or taking action to further a goal, I find the day is filled with steps of action. If I climb those steps, I reach the horizon and all that the world has to offer. There is a realm of possibilities. Anything can happen. Anything. We never know. It may not happen today, but it may happen.

All I need to do is take action and leave the results up to the Universe. Sounds easy but at times it’s not. Taking action, for me, involves looking at myself and my actions/behaviors with honesty, choosing to be open-minded, open-hearted, and practicing willingness.  It takes adding humility to the mix, as well as kindness and compassion for others AND for myself.

I must be willing to take these steps if I want to experience all that the Universe has to offer. I have learned how to do that in my healing journey, in my sobriety. I have discovered that when I do, there is a wide world of possibilities that exists. I wish for you to experience that in your life, also.

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Warmth of Humility

January 4, 2010 by 7 Comments

warmth of humilityGood morning and welcome to the new year. May it be filled with peace and joy for each of you. And welcome to my blog as our journey through the book continues.

Today’s topic is humility. For me, humility produces a warm glow. Hence, the naming of today’s image, Warmth of Humility. Although difficult to see in this reproduction, the late afternoon sun on the bronze of this gate is reflecting a glow of great warmth.

Webster defines humility as the act of being humble, which is to be modest, not proud or self-assertive, to have or to show one’s consciousness of his/her shortcomings.

For me, humility was something which found me in sobriety after I did a lot of work uncovering and acknowledging my shortcomings. I was cut down to size, was made to realize I was not the hot shot I thought I was. Of course, at the same time I felt inflated about myself, I felt so poorly about myself, so humility also became a place of recognizing that I was not a speck of dirt on the floor.

Humility is the recognition that the success I enjoy, or who I am and what I believe about myself, is by the grace of a higher power, not by my own works or actions.

My heart is softened by humility. When I feel humble, I am lead to compassion for myself and others, as I have a tender understanding of our common flaws and foibles. It is that warm glow to which I referred earlier.

I am relieved of the need to control when I am humble, as I am confident in the belief that if I just take action, do what is right in front of me to do, do the footwork and let go of the outcome, a higher force will guide me in the direction in which I need to go. It is a flow; again, that warmth…

How do you experience humility in your life? I welcome your feedback…

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