Willingness Is the Key to Your Happiness

Hello to you this clear and bright morning! I hope you have a good day, filled with love and joy. Today, I am going to address the search term “willingness is the key.” The term did not say “key to what,” and I added happiness, because it is true… when you have the willingness to be happy, you can find happiness.

A coach with whom I am working stresses that you come what you believe. So, if you believe you can be happy, you begin to engage in activities and thought patterns that bring you happiness.

I spent my life until about the age of 52 believing that happiness was found in other people, in my circumstances. I held others responsible for my happiness and when they didn’t produce it, I was angry at them, carried a resentment against them. And I searched all over for the right set of circumstances, the right place to live, believing that when I found the right place, the right set of circumstances, I would be happy.

About 4 years into sobriety, I realized the fallacy of these beliefs. I learned that happiness came from inside of me, that I formed my own happiness. Wow, that was revolutionary, a true aha! moment. And then I discovered that if I showed willingness to assume responsibility for my happiness, it began to be a reality.

Willingness is the key to everything, I have discovered. I had to have willingness to be responsible for my own happiness, willingness to get and stay sober so I could heal, willingness to feel my feelings, willingness to approach life with a positive attitude. Without willingness, these things could not occur.

The image to the right is from my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing.” In the book, the verse that accompanies the picture is, “All it takes is willingness to unlock whatever lies inside, to turn the knob and open the gate… All it takes is a tiny opening the size of a keyhole.”

This is so true… a tiny opening in your heart, in your mind, will lead to more and more willingness. If you are willing to have just a little willingness, the Universe expands it for you.

If you are having difficulty being willing to heal, willing to get sober if that is your need, willing to hold yourself responsible for your feelings and your happiness, then ask the Universe for the willingness to be willing to have willingness. Just show a little willingness and you’ll be amazed at how you are supported in that endeavor! Here’s to your willingness!




Dealing with Despair

Face of Despair

Face of Despair 

Good morning. I hope it is a day of brightness for each of you. Yet, judging from the search term of “dealing with despair,” which showed up three times, I suspect some of you are not feeling brightness in your lives. So today, I want to talk about a way out of despair.

See the image to the left? Can you see the little face, mouth open in a wail of despair, hands covering his eyes? It is from my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, with the verse that says, “Can you hear my wail? Can I hear myself?”

What I meant by “Can I hear myself” was that often, we do not pay attention when we are in deep pain. We ignore it by stuffing it, by becoming incredibly busy, or by numbing the feelings with substances. Is this you?

STOP! Your soul is crying out to be acknowledged, wants you to pay attention to it, wants the opportunity to heal. When you feel those feelings of despair, stop. Become willing to write in a journal or notebook what you are feeling.

When writing, I suggest you print with your non-dominant hand. This will prompt all sorts of your deepest feelings to emerge onto the page; you’ll get to the bottom of your woes more quickly and easily. Try to stay with those feelings for at least 15 minutes at a time. When you can no longer deal with them, THEN get up and be active… do the dishes, take a walk, do something productive.

Then look at and consider what you have written about your despair. Consider how you want to feel instead. Write about that in detail… what would your life look like if you were not in despair? Vision it, write about it. Now, consider if there is an action you can take right now that will move you forward to that vision of how you want your life to be.

Focus on that one thing, that one action. Keep it simple. You will have to find one action you can take. Maybe you cannot do it in the moment, but you can do it today sometime, or tomorrow. Make a to-do list and put that action step on the list. Often, when we are being of use to someone else, our despair lessens, so you might consider an action step that involves doing something good for another.

On the other hand, we often forego our needs for the needs and desires of another, so you may need to focus on your needs and desires right now. Doing good for another can come after you have met your needs.

Now, take that action. Just take it, do it – that one simple thing. Once you have done it, sit and contemplate how you feel about yourself now, having done something good for yourself. Write about it, share about it with someone you trust not to steamroll you.

I am not suggesting this is easy, for it is not. It will take willingness on your part. AND, once you do it, you will reap the rewards and you will feel less despair and more peace in your heart.

Sit down and write today… now. Then take that action step.

If what I say resonates with you, move at the speed of instruction. : ) Write again and again about your despair, focusing on your vision and taking action. Let us know in a comment if things change for you.


What Does Willingness Look Like?

Good morning, everyone! I has dawned a bright and sunny day here in the north San Francisco Bay Area, and I hope your day is bright and sunny from the inside out. I think someone stuffed the ballot box with the search term “what does willingness look like,” (lol) and I will address that today.

I believe willingness is the key to all change, all improvement, and all feeling better about ourselves and others.

Webster defines willingness as the act of being willing, which is acting or giving readily and cheerfully, gladly or voluntarily. In my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, I say that all it takes to unlock the gates of our heart is a little opening the size of a key hole. Then the door opens wider…

When we practice willingness, we are open to whatever the Universe has to bring our way. We are open to differences in others, open to seeing new things for ourselves. It is a feeling of expansiveness, of expanding light.

Yes, willingness is a lightness of being. There is a mysterious quality about it, as we await new experiences, new feelings, “new” in all areas of our life. There is a deep knowingness when we are practicing willingness, a deep feeling that all is well. We look eagerly to what the Universe has to offer us.

When we are demonstrating willingness, others see an openness about us, experience less judgment from us. They see our lightness, our eagerness for newness. They see a person who is more at peace with themselves, with others. Yes, willingness is the key to happiness and peace.

How do you feel when you are experiencing willingness? Leave a comment and let us know.