gratitude • Creating Peace Through Forgiveness

How to Show Gratitude When Life Is Difficult

May 16, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Good morning to you each and may you have a very happy day, filled with gratitude! That is our topic for today… gratitude. It was one of the search terms and I always can talk about it.

Gratitude is defined by Webster as a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received. So, how does one show gratitude?

It’s all well and good when you are in a joyful mood, when things are going well for you. In those situations, gratitude is easy to demonstrate. It is easy to be grateful when life is going along well. Yu can merely sing the praises of everything around and in you that is joyous. But what about when the chips are down, when things are not so good in your life?

The thing about being grateful when life is difficult is that by showing a little gratitude, it expands into more, and the difficulties you are experiencing seem to minimize themselves.

What you focus on, you manifest. So, if you focus on something positive, positivity has a chance to show up. Gratitude is just that… focusing on something positive in your life. It can exist alongside of the negative that is happening. For example, “xyz” is bad right now, and, I am grateful for “abc.”

In my own life, things are slow in the speaking area. I don’t have any gigs planned and I need some. I am in the process of contacting all the local churches in the area, letting them know of my talk. No one has responded yet with a “yes.” Although somewhat discouraged by this, I am grateful there are so many churches in my area to whom I can reach out. I am grateful I have the time to contact them, grateful I have the time to work on my talk. That’s how gratitude is showing up in my life in relation to my speaking engagements.

How is it showing up for you in your life? What are you grateful for? Is life pretty tough right now and all you can show gratitude for is your sight, your hearing? Be grateful for those; start at that point and it will grow from there.

If you are struggling and can’t seem to get out of a quagmire, the feeling that you’re sinking, I invite you to make use of my coaching services. I have a coaching program that is six weeks long; it’s three sessions designed to jump-start you into positivity. Gratitude is simply one of the many things we discuss.

To access this program, I start with a free, 30-minute discovery phone call. It’s a way for you to verbalize what is happening in your life so you can feel supported in your difficulty. I leave you with one or more ways you can look at or do things differently so you can get relief. I also relay to you how we can continue to work together, if what I say resonates with you.

Simply call me at 415-8838325 to schedule your free discovery session. Or, you can email me at carolyncjjones@yahoo.com. Either way, I would be delighted to work with you so you can find relief.

Filed Under: Joyous emotions Tagged With: being grateful, Carolyn CJ Jones, coaching services, grateful, gratitude, how to be grateful

Gratitude For Yet Another Day

May 1, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Good morning to everyone! Welcome to my blog! The search term I have chosen today has to do with gratitude… gratitude for yet another day.

I just spoke with my friend in Denver, where they are getting snow in blizzard-like conditions. And I am here, north of San Francisco, where it has dawned yet another beautiful and sunny day. I am so grateful for my life and where I live today. How about you?

For what in your life are you grateful? What is lighting you up today? Is it your physical surroundings, the presence of family and friends in your life, the things you are able to do with your life? What is it that brings you gratitude? Leave a comment and share your gratitude with us. Maybe that one thing you share will spark someone who is having difficulty being grateful into recognizing and appreciating the thing in their life for which they can be grateful.

Finding it difficult to be grateful for anything? Consider gratitude for the fact that you can see, can smell, can hear. Take a basic physical ability that you have and express gratitude for it. Consider one of your positive traits (we all have them) and express gratitude for that. Find one thing to be grateful for and the tone of your entire day will change.

If you like the attitude I display and want more of it, be aware that I offer the coaching program Opening the Gates of Your Heart: Finding Peace and Happiness Through Forgiveness. In the sessions of the program, I offer a safe, nurturing and non-judgmental atmosphere in which you can discover the gates of your heart. We work together to clear those gates, so you can open them and feel peace, happiness, and freedom.

You are eligible to receive a free, 30-minute discovery session, in which we will discover together the gates of your heart and what keeps you from peace and happiness. Then I will share with you how we can continue to work together, if what I say resonates with you. Simply call 415-883-8325 to schedule your free discovery session today. Let’s get started so you can learn to live with gates flung wide!

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: being grateful, grateful, gratitude

Using Gratitude in Dealing with Despair

April 22, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Good morning, everyone! It is the wee, wee hours of the morning and I popped awake, so here I am. I wish for you each an insightful day, filled with many moments of gratitude.

Face of Despair

I wanted to address the person who searched for “dealing with despair.” Let me begin by saying that I know what it is like to live in despair, to be filled with it. When I was about five years into sobriety, I was so filled with despair that I was praying to die. I knew of no other way to deal with my despair than to exit this world. I was like the image to the left – wailing, covering up my eyes and just wailing.

I remember those days, and want to say I know how debilitating they are. My heart goes out to those of you who are feeling despair. I also want to say that there is a way out of it; there is something you can do to minimize your despair.

I am not one for saying “fake it till you make it,” or “act as if.” I believe that not being with what you are feeling is detrimental. However, there comes a time when you can make the choice to move through your despair to something else.

To get out of despair, using gratitude is a powerful thing. You may not be grateful for anything in your life, nor see how you can be. Yet, gratitude is a great anecdote for despair.

Try this… be grateful for at least one thing today. Is it your sight, your hearing for which you are grateful? Are you grateful that you can see the beautiful flower in that garden, or hear the birds sing? Whatever that one thing is that you are grateful for, focus on it until you are really, truly appreciative that it is in your life.

Can’t find anything for which to be grateful? Use my example; be grateful for your sight, your hearing. Take your attention off of your despair and focus on the gratitude you have for that one thing. Allow that feeling to consume you throughout the day. Revisit it again and again.

Helping others to see their world with new eyes is what I do in my coaching practice. If you are having difficulty being grateful and would like some assistance to get there, please call for a free 30 minute discovery session. We will discover together what you want from your life and the blocks you are experiencing that keep you from getting what you want. Simply call me at 415-883-8325.

As you go through the day, make an effort to find gratitude for one thing, just one, and focus on it throughout the day. Use gratitude to deal with your despair and let us know how that went for you by leaving a comment.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: being grateful, dealing with despair, despair, grateful, gratitude

Celebrate Gratitude for Who You Are

March 23, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones 1 Comment

Hello and good morning to each of you! I am filled with gratitude for the day and wish to share that with you. And I am going to take it one step further and ask you to celebrate yourself for who you are!

If you have finished the positive list for your self-appraisal, then you will want to celebrate with gratitude what you have discovered. Be loud and proud to yourself about who you are in all your greatness, all your glory, all your light. Cultivate deep knowingness about who you are, what you have to offer the world, for you have much to give.

Offer gratitude for all your experiences, both positive and negative, that have shaped who you are today, for without ALL your experiences, you wouldn’t be “you” today. Be grateful for your life and all it has taught you, for all you have learned.

Write with your non-dominant hand – printing is easier – all the feelings that arise as you read this post and contemplate your beingness, and especially those of gratitude. Be humble and ecstatic about what and who you are, what and who you find.

Have you started your week’s long listing of all the positive things you thought, said, and did during the past week? Don’t forget to do that. Be in deep gratitude for all of those positive things. Celebrate them, celebrate you!

I hope your feelings of gratitude for who and what you are carry you forth through this day and all the days to come! It all starts from your list of positive traits and characteristics. So have at it… celebrate gratitude! Celebrate you! Have a splendid day!

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: expressing gratitude, grateful, gratitude, how to do a self-appraisal, self-appraisal

Feelings of Giving Up and Hopelessness

March 19, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Good morning! I have been assent for the past two days, and you visited anyway. Thank you for that. I hope you found information that was useful for you.

Today, the search term which touched my heart was “feelings of giving up and hopelessness.” So, now that you have learned the process of how to forgive, let’s turn our attention to healing and getting past hopelessness.

This term touched my heart deeply because I was once at the place of giving up. I was praying to die because I felt my life had no purpose, that the abuse I had suffered early in life was only for the purpose of making my life miserable. And because I was there, praying to die, I recall how miserable I felt, and so, I wish to be of use to those of you who are struggling with giving up.

I gently say, please do not give up. Things can get better. There is hope. For your life to turn around, you need to muster up all your energy and take one action. Can you do that for me? Will you promise you’ll do this one thing? It has two parts. Will you do them? Great. Let’s proceed…

When I was at my lowest low, praying to die because I was too afraid to kill myself, I was able to get out of that space by being of use to another person who was in the middle of feelings of hopelessness. I shared one thing that had been useful for me, and he was so grateful, tears came to his eyes.

You, too, can do the same thing. Here’s how. The first step of this process is to get a notebook, a wire-bound one, even available at 7-11 for a couple of bucks. Start writing in it every morning, even for 15 minutes… printing, with your “other” hand, your non-dominant hand. Write about your feelings of hopelessness, why you are feeling hopeless, what the circumstances of your life are that lead to those feelings. Write about your past that has led up to these feelings.

What you will find is that all sorts of deep emotions will well up and flow onto the page. You may find yourself sobbing and this is okay. Keep going. You may need to take a break to allow yourself to feel your emotions, yet, feel them. Allow yourself to just “be” with them. Try not to numb your feelings with substances or activity. Certainly, if you are having difficulty dealing with the feelings that arise. consider getting therapy assistance. Sometimes, this is free or low-cost at your county mental health department.

When you are able to look at and feel those feelings of hopelessness, you begin to heal from them. Remember, the only way out of them is through them. What you resist, persists. When you shine light on those dark and depressing emotions, you begin to heal.

At the end of each writing session, write down one thing for which you are grateful, just one thing. Allow yourself to hold onto that one thing throughout the day. It may be as simple as the fact that you are able to write. Just be grateful.

After a time of doing this, you will see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, be on the lookout for someone else who is feeling that feeling of hopelessness, too, someone who is despairing. Share with them the writing exercise, including the one thing for which to be grateful. Focus on them, not you, for the entire time you are speaking with them. Be a good listener of their woes, and then encourage them to write about it, print about it, with their non-dominant hand. Share with them what this experience has been like for you.

Walk away from that experience knowing that you have made a positive impact on someone else’s life. When you realize this, you will begin to feel more and more hope as you help more and more people. You will feel useful, that you have purpose. Make it a mission to help another and this will help with your hopelessness.

I wish you well on your journey.

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain Tagged With: being grateful, despair and hopelessness, grateful, gratitude, hopeless, hopelessness, I feel hopeless

Living in Gratitude

January 12, 2013 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

Good morning, all! Today I would like to talk about gratitude – how to live with it every day, how it benefits us to do so. One of my images from my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing is Visions of Gratitude, as seen here on the right.

Visions of Gratitude

The verse that accompanies this image is: “When I look with eyes that appreciate, everything around and within me is more pleasing, more beautiful.”

This has been my experience. The more I look around and appreciate all that I have, all that is in my life, the more pleasing life is in general. The more pleasant it is. The more grumbling I do about things, the more anger and dissatisfaction I feel. It’s my choice, and I like to feel good, so I choose looking with appreciation at all that I have.

We can all practice looking for the good in our lives, looking for things about which we are grateful. It starts from the moment we wake up… we can be grateful simply for waking up to have another day to live to our fullest, to experience life and all it presents.

Even if we are in the middle of hard times, we can be grateful that 1), we can feel the pain, because when we feel pain, we also feel joy when the pain clears, and 2), we can be grateful that from the difficult time, we will grow our spirit, our character.

When we express gratitude for all that we have, our demeanor is one of cheerfulness, of happiness. We are a joy and a pleasure to be around. We set a good example for others to show their gratitude.

Today, I am grateful for my home, my warmth, my kitty who is my companion, my health, my job… I am especially grateful to be an alcoholic because it led me to recovery and that led to healing that has occurred in my sobriety. Recovery has led to all the peace and happiness I have searched for all my life.

What are you grateful for today in your world? Leave a comment and share with us your joy and gratitude.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, being grateful, grateful, gratitude, recovery, showing gratitude, sober, sobriety

Gratitude for Another Day

December 26, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Good morning and I hope your Christmas day was filled with gratitude – for the day’s blessings and for staying sober. One person searched for Christmas day, their first day sober. Today is their second and I hope it goes well for them.

Visions of Gratitude

Today I’m talking about gratitude for yet another day, and specifically, for my sobriety. I am very grateful for the day of sobriety on Christmas day. There were times in my life when staying sober on Christmas was very difficult, but I made it through by expressing gratitude throughout the day.

I keep my eye and heart on the abundance I am experiencing, rather than the scarcity. For example, my sister sent several gifts for me to put under the tree, and I am so grateful she did. It completed the feeling of Christmas. It led me to feel wanted, appreciated and I am grateful.

If I’d had no gifts, I could have been grateful for the tree and the joy it brings to the room. If I’d had no tree, I could have expressed gratitude for my home, my cat, food, and my health. The point is, there is always something to be grateful for, even if it is the smallest thing.

When I was first sober, I had difficulty showing gratitude for anything. I was too mired in the emotional pain I felt over my past. I went through a period of great anger and sadness over those feelings, those experiences.

It wasn’t until I’d done some healing work that I was able to write a gratitude list, listing out the basic things for which I was grateful. It included things like being grateful for my abilities at renovation. You saw the results of my renovation skills yesterday, in the picture of the van I rebuilt.

I am most grateful for those skills, as I am for other abilities I have. Today, I am grateful for my past, as it has made me into what and who I am today, with knowledge of what it’s like to be abused, so I can relate to others who have been or are being abused, so I can offer words of encouragement, support, so I can relay what happened to me to led me to be grateful for the abuse.

That story is another post. Today, I invite you to make a gratitude list, listing out the most simple and basic things for which you are grateful. When I made a gratitude list, I found that as I listed out those things, I was able to express gratitude for more and more things. It became a self-perpetuating situation, a little grew and grew until I was grateful for every little thing.

I wish for you gratitude for another day, another day of sobriety, if you are a sober person. If you practice gratitude, I hope it lifts your spirits. Have a pleasant day, filled with gratitude.

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, grateful, gratitude, living sober, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

A Christmas Story of Gratitude

December 25, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

the van I designed and built

It was December, 2003, and I was traveling from Denver, where I’d been living since June, to Baja to run into the guy for whom I had the hots. That’s a whole other story… I was traveling in my full-sized Dodge camper van that I had gutted and redone in cherrywood, designed to look like a boat.

It was the 23rd and I pulled into a mobile home and RV park outside of Tucson. When I registered, they said the Christmas party was that night and if I came and brought a gift, I got one in exchange.

I found my spot and got settled in with my traveling companion, my 19 year old cat, Maynard. I went through the van, looking for something suitable for a gift, and finally decided upon a Christmas candle I’d had for years but never had lit. Ah, this will work, I thought. I wrapped it in a Viva paper towel, and tied the ribbon with fancy yarn I had for weaving.

While I was looking around, I sent up a prayer to the Universe, asking for something small as a gift because I didn’t have much space available.

Feeling pleased I was offering a suitable gift, I headed off to the party. The first thing I noticed was that everyone that was coming had lavishly wrapped presents, with ribbons and bows. I felt small in comparison. I was ashamed of my gift. I decided to stay anyway.

The next thing I noticed was everyone was drinking wine except me. Ah, wonderful, I said to myself. The only alcoholic in the bunch. I felt singled out and awkward, but I still stayed. I was after that gift I was going to get because it was the only gift I was getting for Christmas that year.

My turn came down the line, and when it was my turn, I went up to the tree and looked for something small. The only small gift left was one the size of a VHS tape. Wonderful, I thought. Perfect. I opened it and it was wine glass stem rings, markers. They were Santas, Christmas trees, a snow man. There were six of them. Ah, great, I grumbled to myself in huge disappointment. The only alcoholic in the bunch and I have to get the wine glass markers!

I was feeling sorry for myself, and although the rule was I could pick someone else’s gift, I noticed no one else was doing that and I didn’t want to be the only one. I walked back to the van, highly bummed. As I sat on the side step of the van looking out at the night, I was filled with self-pity over the gift I couldn’t use. I got up and put it in the trash.

Suddenly, as I was throwing the wine glass markers away, I thought of my cupboard door handles, pulls, of which I had six. The brilliant idea came to me to put the rings on the door pulls for Christmas decorations. Oh, my goodness! My only Christmas decorations! I realized I had gotten something small, as I’d asked for and it was something to boost my Christmas spirit. I can’t tell you how much my heart soared with joy!

My cherished ornaments

These wine stem markers have become an integral part of my Christmas each year, for I now use them as Christmas tree decorations. They are the first ornaments on the tree. And every year when I place them on the tree, I renew my gratitude for all I receive.

I learned some valuable lessons that day I received these wine glass markers as a gift. First, I learned to be more flexible and creative in my thinking about how to use objects.

Second, I learned to greatly appreciate everything I receive, for I never know what the true purpose or use a gift may have. This has been the most valuable of all that I learned that night in Tucson.

Third, I learned that the Universe, God, or whatever that source is in the world, does send me what I ask for. It just might not be what I was anticipating, but it’s what I asked for.

That ends my tale about my wine stem holders. In closing, I’d like to say Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to each of you.

Do you have a tale about Christmas and learning a valuable lesson? I’d love for you to share it with us.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, gratitude

The Joys of Sobriety

December 11, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

Good morning. I hope the two-part series on PTSD despair brought you solace… comfort, and that you were able to see there are actions you can take to help you out of despair. Today nothing really jumped out at me in the search terms, and I am going to write about the joys of sobriety.

Perhaps the biggest joy initially for me was the lack of hangovers. Mine had been extremely severe for about seven years, so not having them was a very welcomed relief. Today, it is nice to wake up clear and wide-eyed, ready to enjoy the new day without nausea, without vomiting, without a splitting headache. You, too, will revel in this new-found result of sobriety.

The faces of my sobriety changed as time went on, and for about six months, I was on what is referred to as a pink cloud, where everything is grand, where everything was so exciting, seen for the first time in years with eyes of wonder and awe. Yes, I felt the pain of my grief from the unrequited love, but it was interspersed with the joy of sobriety, so much so that it gave me the overall sense of well-being for a few months.

You may experience the pink cloud. If and when you do, enjoy it to the fullest. It is helpful to combat the feelings of angst that will arise as you begin to feel more and more of your feelings. Speaking of the angst that will appear in sobriety, know that it is passing, it will pass, and what you are left with is incredible freedom, incredible peace.

Think of the period of angst as one in which you are healing from old wounds so you can start fresh, start anew with your life. Stick with sobriety through this difficult period because the rewards are tremendous. First is the lack of hangovers, as we said, and then the pink cloud. Then, there is a depth to everything you do, everything you see, where you feel connected to the world around you, as well as the people in it.

In sobriety, you become able to see others with softness, gentleness, kindness, and compassion. When you heal, you become more and more interested in helping others, in being of service. You think less and less about making sure you get what you want, because it just comes to you. You become more in-tune with the physical world around you, as you begin to notice plant life, architecture, scenery.

Sobriety leads to a positive attitude, an attitude of gratitude. You see everything that comes along with gratitude… you are grateful for all that occurs, as you know it is for your highest good, even though it may not feel like that at times. Sobriety helps your relationships, as you are less judgmental and critical of yourself and others. You have less to argue about, less fault to find.

In fact, sobriety eventually allows you to take full responsibility for your feelings, your actions and behaviors, and you are fueled by this in your ability to maintain a positive, grateful attitude. You look forward to life unfolding for you, taking action, while letting go of results and letting life flow to you.

Yes, sobriety is filled with joy after you go through the angst of examining and repairing the past. Perhaps the best thing is the feelings of goodwill that you have toward yourself. Your self-pity will have resolved. You will feel good about who you are and you will recognize you are worthy of good things, that you are a worthwhile person, not the worthless one you were told you were.

There is a saying in recovery circles, “Don’t leave before the miracle happens,” and that is so true. I invite you to stick with your sobriety so that you, too, can experience the miracles and joys of sobriety.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, compassion, gratitude, how to find peace, inner peace, living sober, peace, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

A Day of Gratitude

November 22, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

“Good morning,” she says while it is still barely morning… and Happy Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude. It’s almost noon and I haven’t gotten around to blogging yet. Yikes! Today, let’s talk again about gratitude, seeing as this is the day of Thanksgiving. I’d like to share with you the things for which I am grateful.

First, my home. After having lived in a van for three years and often not knowing where I was going to park for the night, worried all the time about the police coming in the middle of the night, I am so grateful to have my own house. I am grateful for the way I have it decorated, for it feeds my soul.

I have much gratitude for my kitty, Izzy, for letting me pet her often. You see, she is a feral and is shy of me, even after seven or eight years. She will not allow me to hold her, nor does she come onto my lap, but she walks in front of me all the time for pets. I feel so grateful to be shown her affection and for me to have a being on whom I can bestow my overflowing affection.

My sobriety is a source of gratitude, hugely, if that is a word. Without my sobriety, I would be dead, most likely. And, if not, then I’d be out on the streets. I show gratitude every day for waking up without a hang-over, clear-headed… That gratitude stretches to the healing that has occurred in the past twelve years. Much of that occurred after the fifth and sixth years, and I am so grateful for that. I would like to express gratitude over the forgiveness I discovered, which has led me to great peace and freedom.

I have gratitude for my 91 Honda wagon with the purple interior and faded paint on the hood and roof, for it is a great car, still going strong with 190,000+ on it. It suits me so well and has lots of room to cart my books around, in addition to everything I need when I do a speaking gig.

I am grateful for my family and friends, that they have stuck by me through thick and thin. Again, I have so much gratitude for the forgiveness I accidentally discovered, and have been able to forgive my parents. That has set me free.

There are many more things for which I have gratitude… my clarity, my health, the ability to walk and talk, to reason, to feel my emotions, to feel both joy and disappointment, and more.

And how about you? For what do you have gratitude? Leave a comment and let us know.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living Tagged With: grateful, gratitude, living sober, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

Gratitude for Waking Up Sober

November 21, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

“Gratitude for waking up sober” just jumped off the page for me, so I want to address that today. Boy, where to start? It is hard to know, because I am so overwhelmingly grateful for my sobriety. But for me, perhaps the most prevalent thing I am grateful for is that I do not have a hang over. I awaken clear-headed and I have so much gratitude for that!

I have gratitude that I can drive any time I want to, and I am not under the influence. I have gratitude that I can feel the range and host of feelings that I do. I have gratitude today for just about everything. But it wasn’t always this way. Oh, no, it wasn’t.

It used to be that early in sobriety, when I was going to 4-5 meetings a day, I would often meet my roommate either coming or going to the meeting. The one going would ask the one coming what the topic was, and that person often said “Gratitude,” to which the one going would say, “Oh, not again!”

You see, when I was early in sobriety, perhaps until the first few years were over, I was unable to be grateful. Well, with the exception of my gratitude for not having a hang over, that is. I saw nothing for which to express gratitude. I was still so mired in my hurt, confusion, and rage over my up-bringing, my past, so filled with grief over an unrequited love. It colored everything I did, everything I thought. Even writing gratitude lists as suggested didn’t work for me.

What did work was allowing time to pass and with that, healing occurred. As I began to heal, I began to have the ability to look around, to really see what was around me – the people, the love and support. A whole new world opened up when I became grateful and today, I am grateful for just about everything that occurs around me. And at the core of that, at the core of everything, is my sobriety. It is from this that everything flows.

How about you? For what are you grateful? As we move into Thanksgiving, the day of gratitude, what are your reflections, what do you see? Leave a comment and let us know.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Sober Living Tagged With: grateful, gratitude, gratitude for waking up sober, living sober, sober, Sober Living, sobriety, what am I grateful for

Quotes on Life with Images

October 23, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

This, “quotes on life with images,” was a search term that found my website this morning. I recall using that as a keyword phrase, perhaps… What I what to really focus on is the term, because what I have to offer you today is quotes on life with images. They are taken from my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing.

Visions of Gratitude

When seen with eyes and heart that appreciate,

everything around and within me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.

Moments of Wonder

Do you suppose there has always been such richness, such beauty in the world?

Perhaps it has been there all along,

waiting to be noticed, to be seen, with the eyes of the heart.

Invitation of Dialogue

If we as individuals cannot speak to each other,

how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?

Warmth of Humility

Rather than take on everyone else’s dreams, desires, and expectations,

can I not look humbly at what has been placed before me?

Openness of Heart

We will grow through the barriers of our heart and

be able to fully experience the richness of life.

Promise of Peace

When I practice the principles of love for myself and others,

the gates of my heart melt into the glow of dusk,

and peace rises to greet me.

Balance of Serenity

I am serene, carried by the winds to places where

I am held in balance with great beauty and strength.

Burst of Joy

My heart bursts with joy!

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: being grateful, being humble, gratitude, how to find peace, humble, humility, inner peace, joy, peace, peace between nations, Quotes on Life with Images, serenity

The Power of Gratitude

October 21, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

When put to use, gratitude is very powerful. Even more so, it is magical.

I will move into gratitude today for two reasons – 1) it was a search term and 2) it enhances everything you do in life, and it can help you maintain sobriety. Gratitude assists in the forgiveness process, too.

What is gratitude? According to Webster, it is a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits. To me, gratitude is pleasing and I am thankful for what I have received, whether I have asked for it or not. I am thanking a higher being, or source, showing and sharing my gratitude.

There was a long period in sobriety during which I could not be grateful for anything. In fact, my roommate and I used to meet each other while one was on the way from a meeting and one was on her way to a meeting. The question would always be, “What was the topic?” The answer invariably was “Gratitude,” to which the other would exclaim, “Gratitude AGAIN??”

The thing is, I could not get past the hurt and pain of my past enough to be grateful for anything. It took me several years sober before I seemingly overnight, began to have extreme gratitude. Oh, but I remember the incident vividly. It is the same day that I realized my life’s purpose and my calling.

Once I did, the whole world changed for me in my ability to be grateful for all the gifts I was receiving. In fact, I began to look at my experiences as gifts from which to learn and grow, to heal and thrive.

I still do today… look at experiences as gifts for my learning, healing, and growing, and I see them with gratitude. Sometimes, when I am in the middle of it, I don’t see it as a gift, though. But it works its way through, and I begin to see the gift. Staying sober helps a great deal with that, and that’s the topic of another blog.

If you’re having difficulty being grateful, expressing gratitude, then try this. Every morning when you wake up, whether you lie awake for awhile, or bound right out of bed, feel gratitude for waking up. That’s it, just for waking up.

Even if you would rather not continue with life and not waking up sounds like the solution for you, set that aside for a bit if you can, and just be grateful you woke up on this day, that you have one more day to hope that things will turn around today, or one more day to stay sober. Whatever your difficulty, think of it as one more day to have things change.

It takes courage, and a lot of willingness. And if you’re beat down so low, perhaps those are the only games in town. You have a choice to grab hold of willingness and courage, or keep with the status quo.

Back to our daily exercise. Practice greeting the day with gratitude for two weeks. For the following two weeks, keep doing that and add this: throughout each day, remember back to waking up and being grateful that morning. When you can remember what that felt like for you, be grateful you were able to experience gratitude, able to be grateful. Be grateful for the courage and willingness you used.

After a while, you will find yourself showing gratitude for getting great parking spaces. It works to elevate your mood, and it’s easier to be around others, and they around you. Remember, gratitude begets gratitude.

How does gratitude manifest for you? Are you able to express it already? If not, was the exercise helpful? Leave a comment and let us know.

Are you resistant to this or even to the exercise?

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: being grateful, getting sober, grateful, gratitude, living sober, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

Find Peace – Keys to Unlock the Gates of Your Heart

September 8, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

Good morning! I hope this finds you well, and on your way to creating peace in your life!

Yesterday’s search term that caught my attention was “an invitation to the opening.” Very interesting, given that we are dealing with the keys to unlock, then open, the gates of your heart. And, I invite you to join in our journey, the search for peace about which I am blogging.

The journey involves first using the keys to unlock the gates of your heart. These can be used all the time. In fact, I recommend that you DO use them all the time. It will further your ability to create peace in your life.

The first and most important key is willingness. You must be willing to take the journey, willing to look at things with new eyes. Are you willing? You can be willing at any time, all the time… willing and eager for new information. I cannot stress how far willingness will take you.

Then there’s surrender. I used to think surrender meant giving up in despair. But it means giving in, letting go, of just about everything… the need to control and manage everyone and everything, the need to control and manage your feelings, to look good to others. It means letting go of trying to control the course of your life.

This is different than taking action. You want to take action in all areas of your life, but then, after taking that action, you will want to let go of the results and let them occur naturally. If things are meant to happen, they will, without your prodding and pushing.

The next key to unlock the gates of your heart is gratitude. Gratitude turns your life to gold, everywhere you look, with everything you touch. You see, if you are grateful for the little things, the littlest of events, your life will begin to transform and you will experience peace more and more. If you have difficulty seeing the world with gratitude, practice waking up and being grateful that you woke up, given the chance to live another day.

When you’re in despair or having feelings of worthlessness, waking up won’t be something to be grateful for, most likely. I know I experienced that, at any rate. In that case, learn to be grateful for one little thing in your life and hang onto that gratitude. Openly thank Source for that one thing, over and over again. Over time, you will be able to expend that gratitude to other things.

There will even become a point when you will be grateful for even the tough times, as you will realize there is a gift in them, a lesson to be learned. When you reach this point, then you will have mastered gratitude. Work toward this goal and when you reach it, you will be knowing peace.

But don’t try to fake it. Be real and authentic with your thoughts and feelings that you tell yourself or others. Admit to having a bad day. Be careful not to slip into self-pity, however. Just state facts about your situation, without pity, without remorse. Be sad or whatever you are at the time, but catch yourself short of wallowing in pity for yourself. This is a non-productive and energy-sucking place to go.

These are the three main keys to unlock the gates of your heart that will lead you to peace. There are other keys, such as humility, courage, honesty, and having an open heart and mind. Over time, as you practice these keys, they will become automatic. They are something you can do all the time.

Today, take some time to practice being willing, surrendering, and being grateful. These three things alone will lead you to more peace. I wish you well in your efforts to unlock the gates of your heart.

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Self Improvement Tagged With: gratitude, how to find peace, inner peace, peace, peace of mind, surrender, Willingness

Enhance Your Sobriety with Gratitude

August 7, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Visions of Gratitude

Good morning. I have been gone for several days, getting my old computer more up to snuff, keeping at bay the need to get a new one… Thank you to those of you that continued to visit , despite the lull in new posts.

As a result of the lull, we have had a break in the flow of my posts and I am afraid that will have broken the momentum we had going.

I was going to do a review, in order to get our momentum back, yet the next topic about which to write is gratitude, and I believe we can slide back into the swing of it with this topic. Allow me to continue…

When we see things with eyes that appreciate, everything around and within us becomes more pleasing, more beautiful. Such is the case with gratitude. It becomes a way of life, whereby we are grateful for everything we have and do.

When living a life of gratitude, we begin the day by being grateful for another day, for waking up. Then we can be grateful for our sight, that we can see a myriad of colors and objects when we awake in the morning. And so forth throughout the day.

When we can live this way, our sobriety becomes easier and richer, and we are able to find serenity and peace.

But if you’re like I was in early sobriety, you are not able to be grateful. You do not see anything for which to be grateful. However, if you have followed the process we have been discussing, in the order it was presented, then you will have had a chance to look at old resentments, and hopefully, to resolve them.

With them resolved, hopefully you were able to forgive. Even if you have not gotten to the forgiveness stage, however, it is possible to see the world around you with gratitude.

Start by making a gratitude list every morning or every evening, whichever is the time for you that writing flows. Your list will be obvious things at first, like… you are grateful for a home, food, family and friends, your job. Keep doing this every day.

Really reach within for things about which you are grateful. After a while, you may notice a change in your list. You may begin to add things like your sobriety, your belief in a power greater than yourself, the guidance you receive from that power.

You may begin to feel gratitude for things such as the expansive feelings in your heart that you feel toward others you meet in your day. You may be grateful you are an alcoholic, for it brought you to this journey of healing.

Gratitude may well up inside as you consider that your difficult past occurred so that you could heal from it and then pass your message of healing along to others, to be of use to them.

When you can live with gratitude as the foremost thing in your heart, the road becomes easier and joyful.

Today, consider all the things for which you are grateful. Make a list of those things. Let your heart sing as you write each thing down. Really feel that gratitude as a deep feeling. If you are having difficulty with this, just start where you are and write down what you can.

Continue this as a daily practice until being grateful for the things in your life is second nature and happens easily. Feel that freeing feeling, that feeling of deep satisfaction and peace. You are experiencing gratitude as a way of life.

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Sober Living Tagged With: gratitude, how to find peace, inner peace, living sober, peace, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

Have Gratitude For Your Dream

May 24, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Visions of Gratitude

Another thing which will further your dream goal is to have gratitude for its presence in your heart. By having gratitude, you will experience even more good things for which to be grateful.

That’s the thing about it. The more you are grateful, the more comes your way for which to be grateful. It has a snowball effect.

Some people have difficulty being grateful because of the negative which is in their lives. They focus on the negative. They look at life as the glass half empty instead of half full.

If this is you, I invite you to look with new eyes. I invite you to start your day by being grateful you can see when you first wake up in the morning, that you can see the myriad of colors.

This may sound ridiculous. Why would you be grateful for an every day thing? Because that attitude then pervades every fiber of your existence, and it lifts you up rather than bring you down. It is a choice you make, an attitude shift.

Once you establish gratitude for the basic things in your everyday life, you can see the smallest things with gratitude.

The reason I advocate gratitude for your dream is that your dream is your soul speaking. Your dream is your purpose in life, what you were sent here to do with your life for others. Be grateful that the Universe is showing the way through your dream.

Today, practice gratitude for everything in your life. Look at everything from the side of being grateful, as opposed to finding the negative. You will feel more peace in your life if you do.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: grateful, gratitude, how to find peace, inner peace, peace

Healing Through Nutrition and Gratitude

April 1, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Today I have a special treat – guest blogger Tom Corson-Knowles. He presents to us a wonderful blog about nutrition and gratitude. Enjoy.

A mentor of mine once told me,

“Tom, you’d be amazed at how much you could achieve in life if you would just stop actively sabotaging yourself.”

I can tell you that this message hit home for me personally in a big way. And I’ve since shared that message with many of my health and nutrition coaching clients and podcast listeners. Why?

Because one of the biggest reasons people have trouble healing is their nutrition – and their self-sabotage. You see, “emotional eating” has become a common phrase these days and an even more common daily occurrence for hundreds of millions of people. But what is “emotional eating” really?

Emotional eating is, in essence, self-sabotage at its finest. We eat unhealthy foods (junk food, ice cream, whatever it is that makes us feel better in that moment) and we don’t eat that food because we’re hungry! No, we don’t even eat that food because it’s good for us. Just the opposite – we at that food emotionally because we know it will hurt us.

Why do we sabotage ourselve this way?

There are many reasons for emotional eating. Oftentimes, in my personal experience, it’s because deep down we don’t feel like we deserve to be healthy, or skinny, or beautiful, or happy or whatever it is. We feel like we’re just not good enough to have those great things in life so just when we’re about to have a breakthrough in our health or in our happiness, we resort to emotional eating to bring us back down.

This whole cycle is part of a big oscillation between two emotional extremes – being overly “happy” and being overly “sad.” I say these words in quotations because it’s probably not exactly those words, it’s different for each of us but it’s in essence a large emotional swing to one side or another (positive and negative).

You see, the secret to healing and the secret to inner peace is to walk the middle path. Being neither too excited when we have a great success in life nor too depressed when we face a setback in life is truly the key to healing and peace.

When we are in this middle bath, we realize that all things in life have a balance, have a duality. Good and bad, happy and sad, excited and afraid, love and hate, life and death, health and illness… this is just a fact of life. And should we fail to accept life the way it is, should we try only to have happiness and no sadness, I guarantee life will throw more sadness your way just to make sure your life is in balance!

That’s not to say that we can’t be more happy in life or have more peace – I believe we can truly live a much happier, more peaceful, more fulfilling life when we come to accept life for what it is – a mixture of both pain and pleasure, opportunity and difficulty. That’s what life is made of.

And when we truly accept life for what it is and have gratitude for the good AND the bad in life – that’s when true healing comes. That’s when we can be grateful for the emotional eating in the past. We can be grateful for the lessons we learned. And we can be grateful for the opportunity to heal and to make positive changes in our life.

Are you grateful for your life today?

This article written by Tom Corson-Knowles, founder of Authentic Health Coaching. You can learn more about Tom and his healthy weight loss tips on his blog.

Filed Under: Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: emotional healing, finding peace, gratitude, inner peace, peace

Gratitude As a Way of Life

March 21, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Visions of Gratitude

When we can live this way, our sobriety becomes easier and richer, and we are able to find serenity and peace.

With them resolved, hopefully you were able to forgive. Even if you have not gotten to the forgiveness stage, however, it is possible to see the world around you with gratitude.

Gratitude may well up inside as you consider that your difficult past occurred so that you could heal from it and then pass your message of healing along to others, to be of use to them.

When you can live with gratitude as the foremost thing in your heart, the road becomes easier and joyful.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: finding peace, grateful, gratitude, inner peace, living sober, peace, sober, Sober Living, sobriety

The Power of Gratitude

January 26, 2012 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

There is much to say about the power of gratitude. Gratitude can take us from a deep, dark place to one one of light and happiness.

Visions of Gratitude

“When seen with eyes and heart that appreciate, everything in and around me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.”

Such is the verse that accompanies this image in my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing. We are moving through the book, one topic at a time, and our goal is to reach peace and maintain sobriety.

When we’re in a low spot, the last thing we want to do is be thankful for anything, because we do not feel there is anything for which to be thankful. Yet, adopting an attitude of gratitude can pull us out of that funk.

We can start easily and small, meaning, we pick some stable things in our life for which we can be grateful… a home in which to live, food to eat.

If we don’t have these, and even if we do, we can be grateful every morning that we wake up and can see around us, can see a myriad of colors. We can be grateful for the use of our body, that we can get out of bed and walk, or propel ourselves.

That is one way to start the day. Certainly, as we start the day, we also want to show gratitude for our sobriety and the power of the Universe that helps us to stay sober.

Every little thing that happens to us throughout the day can have gratitude applied… making it to the grocery store safely, having money to buy groceries in the first place, and so forth.

If we are having trouble identifying things for which to show gratitude, we can start by sitting down and making a gratitude list. This is hard to do sometimes, yet it yields tremendous results over time. We start by listing ten things about us and our lives for which we are grateful. Then, we just sit with that and repeatedly express gratitude for those ten things.

The next day we do the same, and then the next, and then the next after that. Every day, we write down a gratitude list and we reflect on that list. Over time, we soften to the things for which we are grateful and we begin to see other things in our lives to add to the list.

Given time, finding things for which to be grateful comes automatically and we begin to be able to expand our list. We will find ourselves looking for the silver lining in the cloud of that bad experience so we can express our gratitude. It does not happen overnight, but eventually, we will see everything with the eyes of appreciation and we will want to continue this because it feels so good inside.

Today, find three things for which you can express gratitude, and repeat that tomorrow. Then, start writing down ten things you find that you are grateful for. It could be as simple as the pictures on the wall which bring you peace and joy, or as complex as gratitude for that unrequited love that pried you out of a verbally abusive marriage and led you to sobriety.

Soon, you will live a life with an attitude of gratitude, and this, more than anything, will lead you to peace and help to keep you sober. Gratitude is a powerful tool at our disposal, at least, I have found it to be so.

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: being grateful, gratitude, inner peace, living sober, peace, sober, Sober Living, sobriety, Willingness

Inspirational Quote on Gratitude

December 11, 2011 by Carolyn CJ Jones Leave a Comment

Visions of Gratitude

“When seen with eyes and heart that appreciate, everything around and within me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.”

And there is the inspirational quote on gratitude. It is the verse from my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, through which we are working our way.

We are nearing the end of the book, and as such, are tapping into the rich and positive emotions which I felt, once I experienced all the things I have experienced since adopting a life of awareness. These awarenesses are what I have been sharing with you as tropics in the book, which, when followed, led me to peace.

And, today we come to such a valuable and powerful tool, the use of gratitude. The gift of gratitude, for it truly is a gift.

I didn’t used to like the term gratitude. Oh, no, I did not! It was as simple as, I couldn’t feel grateful for old wounds, and wallowing, grief-struck, in those wounds was where I lived. I had not healed enough.

I went through my struggles with learning to be greteful. I finally resorted to making a list every day of 10 things for which I was grateful. That began to build my ability to feel appreciation.

Today, I am grateful about everything. It is a stark and striking contrast, just like the image, and one which I adore having in my life.

How do you develop gratitude if you have not or do not experience it? Just as the verse says, start by looking at things with appreciation. Like, how about hot running water? If you’ve lived on the road as I have, where you didn’t have hot running water, having it would become something you would cherish, every time you used it. Cherishing circumstances and abilities is a form of expressing gratitude.

Even if you’ve never lived without it, think about how much more difficult life would be if you didn’t have hot running water. Electricity is the same. Look at the small, everyday things in your life and appreciate them, realizing that you are expressing gratitude.

Now, look at all your physical capabilities and be appreciative of them. Notice when you awaken, the myriad of colors you can see, and sounds you can hear. Marvel at that, and realize you’re practicing gratitude. Take that same appreciation with you throughout the day and marvel about your capabilities. That’s gratitude.

Finally, look at the experiences you have had in your life, and appreciate that you had them because, without them, you wouldn’t be the person you are today. You wouldn’t have a story to tell that can help just one other person get through what you went through, or are going through. If you help but one person by sharing your story, you have fulfilled a purpose in your life.

Being grateful is an offshoot of being healed, but you can feel gratitude even if you’re struggling. In fact, gratitude is an especially good tool to use when in that space. Just keep noticing and listing everything you appreciate, and just hang in there; it gets better.

You know, it’s a wonderful thing to feel appreciation and gratitude for the world around you; I want you to feel it, too. So go about your day, looking at, resolving to look at, each and every thing that you appreciate. Let us know what you find.

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: appreciation, attitude of gratitude, gift of gratitude, gratitude, inspirational quote on gratitude

Altering Your Mind with Inspirational Quotes About Life

December 4, 2011 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

It’s hard to think that inspirational quotes about life can alter your mind. Usually, when we think of mind-altering, we think of substances like drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine.

These substances bring us a euphoria, an escape from emotional pain and stress. It is with these that we get away from the demons in our mind, sometimes engaging in their use until we are numb and can no longer feel. This can occur when we are experiencing deep emotional wounds.

At the very least, this behavior of over-indulging can be self-destructive, especially if substances are used for the purpose of numbing. At its best and in moderation, altering our minds with substances gives us a bit of a respite – a breather, so-to-speak. Is this not the same thing we would all like to feel when we get stressed from the daily trials and tribulations?

Instead of using substances, consider that we can alter our mind with inspirational quotes about life. We hear the words of another, whether that person is famous or not, and we relate to them at a deep, personal level. They resonate with our being. Ah, a connection is made.

The words bring us hope – hope of better times, hope of release of stress in our mind. Often, the quotes are strong enough to bring forth empowerment. When this occurs, we are inspired to take action on our behalf.

Oneness

Stirring inspirational quotes about life bring us to compassion for ourselves and others. The words can lead us to want to show concern and empathy for those in our world.

Inspirational quotes about life lead us to gratitude as we express our thankfulness. We begin to feel oneness with others and ourselves, as we open our hearts.

It is that feeling of oneness that arises when we read these inspirational quotes that is so sacred, so spiritual in nature. Perhaps, allowing in the spirituality of the quotes changes our mind chemistry, such that it alters our mood.

So, the next time you have a need to alter your mind, try some inspirational quotes about life. Bask in the hope, the compassion, the gratitude you find, and experience that feeling of oneness with yourself and the world.

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Sober Living Tagged With: compassion, empowerment, gratitude, heart open, hope, inspirational quotes about life, inspirational sayings

Gratitude As a Way of Life

October 18, 2011 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

Ah, gratitude. In my book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, the verse for gratitude is: “When seen with eyes that appreciate, everything in and around me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.”

Visions of Gratitude

And it’s true. The more you express appreciation for things around you and for things going on in your life, the better you will feel about everything.

You scoff. I know that feeling. Years ago, when I was going to a support group to help with remaining sober, the topic of discussion was gratitude for five meetings in a row. I was disgusted, as I could not feel gratitude for the way my life was going, nor for past experiences.

But I did what was suggested, which was to make a list every day of ten things for which I was grateful. I did this begrudgingly, with anger. I choked on my words…

Then one day, things began to change. I was feeling so much love for my life, the people in it, and my experiences, that I began to feel gratitude for them all. My past painful experiences, after all, had made me into the sensitive and compassionate person I am today, allowing me to have empathy for those who endure what I endured.

Speaking about my past and how I have healed from it can be useful to others. That is the basis for my gratitude when I think of past painful situations. That holds true in current day also, which is what allows me to be grateful for my past, just as it happened.

In present day, you can consciously take yourself to gratitude. For example, I recently got a jury summons and it conflicts with my schedule. Rather than get angry for the inconvenience, I take note that they allow you to change your date of appearance, and this is something for which I am grateful. I changed my day without grudge for having to serve.

At a street fair over the weekend, I sold one book. Rather than being bummed that I did not sell more, I choose the attitude of gratitude for the chance to share my book with that one woman and her 19 year old special needs son.

Yes, gratitude is a choice you make, over each and every occurrence throughout the day. If you choose gratitude as a way of life, life becomes easier, more beautiful. The end result is the feeling of being soothed. Life flows easily when one chooses gratitude as a way of life.

What are the things in your life today for which you are grateful?

Filed Under: Healing Emotional Pain, Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, compassionate, grateful, gratitude, love

Inspirational Sayings That Can Help Change Hopelessness to Hope

May 14, 2011 by Carolyn CJ Jones 4 Comments

Many people go from great despair and depression to hopelessness; they go hand in hand, it seems. It is possible to find inspirational sayings that help change hopelessness to hope, but we have to be in the right mind-set for them to sink in. Often, when we feel hopeless, we are not able let anything in – we are too exhausted emotionally to hear anything, too depressed to care, too bereft to sort out what is coming our way.

For me, hopelessness was a feeling that there was no use to live, no purpose to my life. I was totally listless and had no belief that things would get better. In fact, I felt so hopeless, I prayed to die. I found my thought that things could not get better, to be untrue, however. Hope crept in…

I am an inspirational sayings and quote kinda gal, and I found inspirational quotes about life that helped turn my hopelessness around. I just kept reading quotes. I also did a lot of recovery work involving much reading, and I was taking what I read and applying it to my situation.

Because of my work with sobriety, I reached out to help another and, through that action, discovered that the painful events of my lifetime had meaning and purpose. I discovered that when I relayed my story to another who was in pain, and humbly offered what I have found that helped me through it, he expressed gratitude for me sharing; he said it was very helpful to him.

As I processed what had happened, I realized that my painful experiences in life had been necessary so I could relate to this person’s pain and have compassion. I realized they were for the purpose of sharing them and the solutions I have found to heal from them. Suddenly, I had purpose! My life had purpose. I felt useful to others. It was this realization that led me to come out of despair and to feel hope. In fact, I have not felt hopeless since that day. What a blessing; such a gift.

I think when we do for others, we can recognize that tender part of our heart. Seeing that in ourselves, it resonates with what we would like to be in the world – perhaps kindness, perhaps giving. And we begin to say to ourselves that a person with a tender part in their heart cannot be all bad or worthless. That is a redeeming quality. Ah, a beacon of hope .

“May a ray of light across the bars of your being light your way, instill hope in your heart.” That is for those who struggle with hopelessness, worthlessness and is a modification of what is in the book, as I made it about you, and not me. I like Kathryn Hepburn’s words, “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw anyone out.” And I add, including yourself. Don’t throw anyone out, including yourself.

So move forward with intention (the aim of the root to anchor and the leaf to find the sun) and provide kindness to another (kindness-the touch of an innocent heart on the broken wing of a fallen bird). Go with courage (the will to act in the face of fear guided by trust and the knowing of the moment) and go with trust (the arm that reaches through apparent circumstances and holds steadfast to identify with Source).

Filed Under: Inspirational Quotes About Life, Inspirational Sayings, Joyous emotions, Sober Living Tagged With: gratitude, hope, hopeless, hopelessness, inspirational quotes about life, inspirational sayings, kindness, random acts of kindness, sobriety, trust

Doubt

January 21, 2011 by Carolyn CJ Jones 9 Comments

Shadows of Doubt

“I circle and circle and circle around the stones of my heart, caged, unable to pass through to the place where my heart is bathed in light.”

This describes what goes on inside of myself when I am in doubt. For me, it takes the form of doubt of self and then doubt in a higher power. I am struggliing right now with both of these issues, so let’s look at them further.

When I take action and that action is continually met with a closed door, i.e., things do not work out smoothly and easily, I begin to doubt that I am on the right track. Then I lose confidence in myself and slip into discouragement, and, if bad enough, despair.

I am dealing with discouragement about why people do not seem interested in my book. Requests to have it reviewed and to get newspaper coverage have been met with silence. Bookstores seem disinterested. The danger is that I lose my enthusiasm to present the book to the public. That enthusiasm is momentarily displaced…

How does one deal with doubt? Perhaps talking with a higher power is helpful for some. When one questions that such a power exists, it makes it more difficult. That is the current case for me. So, what to do?

Personally, I keep taking action, baby steps, doing the things I can do to move the book along that do not require speaking with others, such as creating a power point presentation. I look at the things that are going right, like being scheduled for two reading/signing events out-of-state. I focus on my gratitude for those two events, and soon, my attitude is changed and I am able to approach others with enthusiasm.

This is how it works for me. How about you?

Filed Under: Difficult emotions, Self Improvement Tagged With: Carolyn CJ Jones, despair, doubt, gratitude, Opening the Gates of the Heart

Living With Joy

November 29, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 4 Comments

Burst of Joy

Are you living with joy in your life? What does it look like for you?

It can be as simple as the proverbial smelling a rose, drinking in that glorious fragrance, recognizing the wonder of its creation. The simple noticing of nature around you can bring joy, as one really notices the miracles. It feels joyful to be a witness, to be a part of something so magnificient.

A great deal of joy can be gained by just watching people with an open heart… a dad holding his child, talking quietly, explaining… a child’s face, lit up with excitement over some new discovery… the expression of gratitude on the face of someone who has just received a gift… an older couple, holding hands…

For some, joy comes in different packages. For example, the reflection of light on a gate’s metal… a plant thriving under your care… a rainbow on the wall from crystals in your window… a piece of art, displayed so beautifully…

I once had a neighbor tell me he never had experienced joy in his whole life. I was extremely sad to hear that. And yet, it has only been since I’ve been sober that I, myself, have known true joy. Perhaps it is achieved once one’s heart is cleared and can open to the world around. At any rate, joy is an emotion you don’t want to miss. To experience joy is to bathe the soul in light.

Do you live with joy? How do you find it, or does it find you?

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Sober Living Tagged With: Carolyn CJ Jones, gratitude, living sober, miracles, Opening the Gates of the Heart, sober, sobriety

See The World With Wonder

November 10, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 4 Comments

Moments of Wonder

Good morning, all! Thank you for your faithfulness as I get it together to get on a consistent blogging schedule.

Do you see the star in this picture? It took me months before I saw it, and I only saw it when I put the image against the wall and stepped back. Then, I saw it! That star which appeared… out of nowhere. I was struck with awe and wonder in that moment and, hence, the title Moments of Wonder.

Wonder is a beautiful thing, as so many things can be seen with wonder… the delicate innards of a flower, the flight of a hummingbird, a parent comforting an upset child with soothing words and actions, an older person, getting around even though difficult, the majesty of a sunset…

There is wonder everywhere, if only we take the time and are in the mindset to see things in that manner. Everything becomes a wonder, a marvel, not just the obvious things like a beautiful scene in nature.

It seems that when seeing things with wonder, our gratitude for everything increases, and joy and peace descend upon us. Our heart opens…

What are the things which lead you to see the world with wonder?

Filed Under: Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: awe, Carolyn CJ Jones, gratitude, inspirational, joy, Opening the Gates of the Heart, peace, wonder

How To Open Your Heart and Mind

August 2, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 5 Comments

Openness of Heart

We spend our lives behind the barrier of a closed gate, protected from the hurt and pain that might come to us.

If we allow our hearts to open, we will see things in a different light.

We will grown through the barriers of our heart and be able to fully experience the richness of life.

We stay behind our gate to protect our heart. What does it take in your life to open your heart and mind? Are they already open? How can you open them if they are not already? As the verse above says, we close our hearts from pain and fear of further pain.

But where does that get us? Lonely and isolated, perhaps bitter and resentful. We want to take the chance and open our heart, but fear getting it stomped on, once again. The problem is, we need to open our heart just a little to let the light in. Once we open the door of our heart just a little, we experience that there is not pain. In fact, we come to realize how much love exists in the world that we are missing, and we become able to further open our heart once we experience this.

If we practice expressing gratitude for everything in our life, we begin to see our heart open. We become able to consciously choose to see those around us with gentleness and kindness and to extend them in return. This is how we begin to open our heart. Our relationships become richer, more satisfying, which prompts us to open our heart even further. We are on the road to living with an open heart and it just keeps getting better.

And what of living with an open mind? When we couple humility with an open heart, we are able to approach situations wondering about all the facts we encounter. We don’t have to be “right” about everything. We thirst for knowledge that is different than our own. We look at things with new eyes, and it brings peace of mind.

What are the ways in which you open your heart and mind to the world around you? Does it feel richer?

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As the author and photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers inspiration and empowerment to those on a quest of wellness for the mind/body/spirit. View the additional information about the book to the right of this blog. Buy the book from Carolyn’s website and receive free shipping.

Filed Under: Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: Carolyn CJ Jones, gratitude, humility, mind/body/spirit, open your heart, Opening the Gates of the Heart

Are You Being Honest With Others?

August 1, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 11 Comments

Welds of Honesty

Oh, my goodness. I have not written since July 19th! I apologize for the delay. I was out-of-town at my 40th high school reunion and have been debriefing since my return late on the 27th. Going back to my reunion reminded me of how closed I was in earlier days, how I was not honest with others about who I was inside, how I didn’t even KNOW who I was. This thought leads me into today’s topic from the book, which is about being honest with others about who you are.

The verse in the book that goes with this image talks about looking inside to see who one is, then deciding to honestly show others what is found. When doing a self-appraisal, however, perhaps we dwell on the negative and are not able to identify our positive points. We are linked to a negative perception of ourselves.

When we can identify the delightful things about ourselves that make us the unique contribution to the fabric of our world that we are, can we then let people see that side of us, see our strengths and skills, our joys and sorrows? Identifying these things about ourselves may be difficult for some; yet, we each have positive and delightful traits and characteristics, we each slide along the continuum of feelings.

Perhaps, once in touch with who we are, we can share such things as joy, gratitude, sorrow, and despair. There is a closeness with others when one begins to share of themself in this way. The others, in turn, reveal more of themselves and these people connect on a deeper level.

It is important to trust the persons to whom we open up. It would be easier to convey the exhilarating emotions than the grieving ones. Yet, when we act beyond our fear of exposing ourselves and our truths, beyond the fear of being vulnerable, we experience that closeness with others. It generates more joy and more gratitude, as well as more love , kindness, tolerance, and respect.

This is not to say that all persons are trustworthy of our revealings. One must discern that another is safe to talk with. It would not be advisable, for example, to share with one who treats our thoughts and feelings with disregard and abuse, as that wounds our soul.

Do you experience this type of honesty with others? What is that like for you?

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As the author and photographer of her book of wrought-iron gates and accompanying prose, it is said by others that Carolyn CJ Jones’ book offers hope to the soul in the corner who struggles. Perhaps there is a bit of a struggling soul in each of us. Perhaps we each could benefit from the journey she shares. View the additional information about the book to the right of this blog. Buy the book from her website and receive free shipping.

Filed Under: Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: being honest, Carolyn CJ Jones, despair, gratitude, honest, honesty, joy, kindness, love, Opening the Gates of the Heart, respect, Sorrow, tolerance

What To Do In The Face of Despair

June 22, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 6 Comments

Face of Despair

Can anyone hear my wail? Can I hear myself?

The utter hopelessness about everything in one’s life. To be without hope that an expected result will occur. Not even seeing a glimmer… To be despondent. It is an awful feeling, that of despair, one which blocks the sunlight of Spirit.

How does one get there to begin with? Perhaps, there are underlying feelings of worthlessness, shame. One cannot see any point in living; death seems preferable to continuing. That’s the type of despair I’m talking about.

What do you do in the face of despair? How can you deal with it? Recognizing it is the first step. Then, as difficult as it is, allow yourself to feel that emotion, to be with it. Drinking over it numbs the pain and delays the inevitable – that of looking at what is behind it. Is it a low self-worth? Have you been shamed in your life and, thus, feel lots of shame?

Counseling to assist with feelings of despair can be very useful, if one has a counselor familiar with these emotions and how to deal with them. Talking to a trusted friend, relative, or clergyman could be quite beneficial, as long as they are not the type to give advice and try to “fix” you. A person in despair doesn’t need fixing. They need a way to heal from the issues that brought up the despair in the first place. That is why trying to identify what has led to the despair is important.

Perhaps there is underlying depression or other brain chemistry issues that need to be treated medically, with medication. Again, a reputable and savvy therapist can refer to a physician for evaluation.

Many times, one deals with these feelings by drinking, numbing them. This only delays inner work that must be done. In sobriety, one will find the courage to look at these feelings. Shopping and over-eating are also distractions and an avoidance of looking at the despair, and although a welcomed relief, these are simply other avoidance tactics. Distract yourself and then come back to look at the feeling.

If one does a self-inventory or appraisal, one may discover what is beneath the despair. Looking inside for the clues can be very fruitful. Once underlying issues are identified, one can turn to Spirit and ask for help with these beliefs about one’s self, one’s conditions, and/or talk to a therapist, trusted friend or clergyman.

Finding one thing in your life for which you can be grateful is another step you can take. This is extremely difficult, but when done, allows you to focus on something positive. Then, it becomes easier to find others things for which to be grateful. This attitude helps dispel the despair.

But the key lies in willingness to look at the feeling and the feelings and beliefs behind the despair. To honestly look at oneself and be with what one finds… that is the beginning of what to do in the face of despair.

Filed Under: Difficult emotions, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: Carolyn Jones, carolyncjjones, courage, despair, gratitude, honestty, shame, sober, Sober Living, sobriety, worthless, worthlessness

Tips For Finding Peace

June 1, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 5 Comments

Promise of Peace

When I practice the principles of love for myself and others,

the gates of my heart melt into the glow of dusk, and peace rises to greet me.

It seems I have inner peace when I practice the principles of living, when I practice loving others and myself. It manifests itself as calmness, quietness in that moment. It is composed of one instant of peace following another, until a block of time has passed and I have maintained that peace.

Letting go of the way I want things to go, surrendering, adds tremendously to the ushering in of peace. It’s not something that I say consciously, “I want to be peaceful.” Rather, it seems to be a by-product of other attitudes and behaviors.

For example, practicing gratitude also leads me to peace by letting me feel that all is well; practicing compassion softens my heart to myself and others, and brings me peace.

I looked for this type of peace all my life, but I was looking for it in others, in a bottle, in all that was around me. It wasn’t until I quit drinking and got sober, that I began to learn that happiness and peace come from within me. This took a long time of soul-searching and self-appraisal before I reached a point of acceptance about who I am.

When I reached this point of self-acceptance, life seemed to change from that point forward. It was then that I began to experience periods of peace within. I think the fact that I learned to take responsibility for all my actions, behaviors, and feelings led to the development of peace. Suddenly, there was no one else to blame for the situations in my life. That was very freeing and evoked a peaceful feeling because there was no more drama in my life, or at least, very little.

As I said, I have searched for this in many places and in many ways. But when I let go, practice kindness, compassion, tolerance, and love for myself and others, and take responsibility for myself, peace rises to greet me.

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: Carolyn Jones, carolyncjjones, compassion, gratitude, living sober, self-inventory, sobriety, surrender, tolerance

Living With Serenity

May 27, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 4 Comments

Balance of Serenity

I am serene, carried by the winds to places where I am held in balance with great beauty and strength.

Serenity. That feeling of calmness, even amid storms. It is a prevailing attitude, one which overshadows and, thus, contributes to all other attitudes that follow. For me, it comes when I am in alignment with the powers of the Universe, that which is greater than myself. It is a realization that all is well, that I am being provided and cared for.

I got to serenity through the experiences and changes I’ve discussed in this blog. You have traveled through the book with me and read of the trials and tribulations associated with getting to this point.

Perhaps you related as we moved from worthlessness, sorrow, and despair, through awareness to self-appraisal. Past forgiveness and on to principles such as compassion, tolerance, and gratitude until we have reached a point of joy and serenity. What a journey it has been.

As we finish the book, it is time to start over and I am putting out a “request for proposals.” When I go through the book again, is there any specific tack you would like me to take? My thought was to share about each topic in a general way, not relating to my own experiences. I welcome your thoughts. Please share them.

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Self Improvement, Sober Living Tagged With: awareness, Carolyn CJ Jones, Carolyn Jones, compassion, despair, gratitude, joy, self-appraisal, serenity, Sober Living, sobriety, Sorrow, tolerance, worthlessness

Ways to Persevere

March 19, 2010 by Carolyn CJ Jones 2 Comments

Rolls of Perseverance

“I struggle to not become discouraged, or to think I am a failure because I have not achieved, in my first few attempts, the vision of myself as I wish to be.

Instead, I try to hold tightly to that vision, awaiting my efforts to catch up with the way I am seen by my heart.

Through practice and perseverance, I am learning and growing.”

Perhaps you have experienced being discouraged and feeling as though you failed, because repeated attempts to improve yourself or become a happier person, were unsuccessful. Sometimes, it gets harder and harder to keep trying.

I was one of those people who would beat themselves senseless for perceived failings. I say perceived, because I have learned that nothing in life is a failure. Looked at with a sense of gratitude, failings are actually lessons, opportunities for growth.

It took me a while to get to this point, and many floggings. It seems that when I learned to do a self-appraisal, over time I began to look honestly at what I was doing, what I was believing about myself. I mean looking deeply. What I believed about myself was not true. It was other people’s words and judgments that I was believing.

Once I saw this, really saw and felt this deeply, things began to change for me. I had to search my soul and learn who I really was, not what I had become in response to others. A humbling and difficult experience…

Another thing that has allowed me to persevere with joy is the development of gratitude. With much practice, showing I am grateful for any situation as it happens eases the sting of disappointment or feelings of failure. For me, everything is seen as something for which to be grateful. There can be no failure when there is gratitude.

How do you persevere in the face of discouragement?

Filed Under: Principle of living, Self Improvement Tagged With: being grateful, Carolyn Jones, carolyncjjones, Gate Ladt Publishing, gratitude, honesty, self-inventory, soul searching

Thanksgiving – A Day to be Thankful and Give Thanks

November 25, 2009 by Carolyn CJ Jones 4 Comments

Today I deviate and jump ahead to Visions of Gratitude. That is the title of this image and it appears later in the book, after I have gone through many growth steps. I jump ahead today, in honor of Thanksgiving, a day to be thankful and to give thanks.

Thank you for joining me as we journey through my book. I will return to our travels with the next post.

My roommate and I used to go to our support group and the topic would be gratitude. For quite a while, our response was, “Gratitude? Not again!” We were quite annoyed. For me, that is because I was still not seeing that every thing around me, all that happened, was for a good reason and cause to be grateful. All I could see was what a mess my life was, what a mess my mind and emotions were.

As I became more sober, I began to heal and I began to see in retrospect why I had needed to go through a specific experience. I saw that what I had experienced was something which led me to further healing. More often than not, it seemed to be an experience designed specifically for me.

In the present, I am so grateful for just about everything in my world. It fills me with an endless feeling of lightness, strength and peace. I notice small things from which I gain delight and for which I am grateful, such as the rainbows dancing on my wall because of the sun shining through my crystals. I praise not only the rainbows, but the sun as well.

It took me years to get to that point, however. I spent a great many years bemoaning my fate, as well as worrying about things I’d done or things that were to occur. I had difficulty being in the present, living in the now.

As I learned to live in the now, I began to notice the things for which I was grateful and I began to heal more. As I noticed that I was healing, I became more able to trust the process and more grateful for the results. As I became more trusting and grateful, more showed up in my path for which I could express gratitude. And, so, the ever-spiraling circle expanded.

It fills my heart with peace and joy to live with an attitude of gratitude. It makes life more easy, more gentle.

The quote which goes with this image is: “When seen with eyes that appreciate, everything in and around me becomes more pleasing, more beautiful.”

What brings you to gratitude?

Filed Under: Joyous emotions, Principle of living, Sober Living Tagged With: attitude of gratitude, Carolyn Jones, Carolyn Jones Photographs, gates of the heart, giving thanks, gratitude, Opening the Gates of the Heart, sobriety, thankful, Thanksgiving

How to Show Gratitude When Life Is Difficult

Gratitude For Yet Another Day

Using Gratitude in Dealing with Despair

Celebrate Gratitude for Who You Are

Feelings of Giving Up and Hopelessness

Living in Gratitude

Gratitude for Another Day

A Christmas Story of Gratitude

The Joys of Sobriety

A Day of Gratitude

Gratitude for Waking Up Sober

Quotes on Life with Images

The Power of Gratitude

Find Peace – Keys to Unlock the Gates of Your Heart

Enhance Your Sobriety with Gratitude

Have Gratitude For Your Dream

Healing Through Nutrition and Gratitude

Gratitude As a Way of Life

The Power of Gratitude

Inspirational Quote on Gratitude

Altering Your Mind with Inspirational Quotes About Life

Gratitude As a Way of Life

Inspirational Sayings That Can Help Change Hopelessness to Hope

Doubt

Living With Joy

See The World With Wonder

How To Open Your Heart and Mind

Are You Being Honest With Others?

What To Do In The Face of Despair

Tips For Finding Peace

Living With Serenity

Ways to Persevere

Thanksgiving – A Day to be Thankful and Give Thanks

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