Hello and good morning in the pre-dawn hours. : ) I am wondering how things went for you with the forgiveness challenge. Were you able to do the exercises? How did/does it feel? Do you think you’ll be able to get to the point of forgiveness? I hope so.
This morning, there was a search term “how can I trust my higher power,” and I wanted to address this today. It is crucial for your peace of mind and your sobriety to have a belief and trust in a higher power. To relay how you can do that, I’d like to tell a story…
When I came to sobriety, I did so having just read Conversations With God. This was a very powerful book for me; the effect on me was astounding. I had begun to believe that God was everywhere around me, in everything and everybody. So, when I entered sobriety, I thought it was God urging me to do so. I now know this was the case, but about 3-4 years into sobriety, I began to have difficulty with God.
I was working through my childhood issues, dealing with the anger and rage, the confusion and hurt, the wounds I was left with from my childhood. I began to trust God only so far, and then I felt I needed to take over, I needed to watch my back. I had reverted to a survival mode, one which was familiar and necessary from childhood days.
Soon, this lack of trust in a higher power began to get in my way, and I got to a deep despair, wondering why a higher power would have allowed me to experience what I did as a child. The way I got out of the despair is a whole other story; let me focus on trusting my higher power…
Right about the time that I was in deep despair, my sponsor suggested I begin to notice the things in my life that were going well, the good things that were occurring that I did not plan nor force to happen. So I did. I began to notice these things. What I soon discovered was that wonderful things that were happening, small, little things that I did not design or orchestrate.
My sponsor said this was my higher power working in my life. Ahhhh, I thought to myself. So, this is the higher power. I began to trust that I was being cared for, watched over. Slowly, I eased the need to watch my back, and began to believe that it was being watched by my higher power.
Today, I believe there is a higher power at work in my life. I see evidence of it every minute of every day in the small things, the things that fall into place as a result of me having taken action. Opportunities arise, people are there to help me… it all just falls together like a beautifully choreographed dance.
This is how your higher power works, in small ways, effortlessly. As things begin to fall into place for you, as others appear on your path to guide you, think of it as your higher power at work in your life, for it is. : )