Living in the Past with Resentment or Longing

Good morning! I hope you each are well this morning. Today, we will continue with living in the past, and will address living with resentment and longing for better days.

Let’s look at resentment first. Resentment is the reliving of an anger again and again, not letting go of it. In these cases where you are doing this, there is a key you can learn that will benefit you for the rest of your life; you can learn to forgive.

Forgiveness is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight, yet, when you get to a point of being ready to forgive, it quietly happens in the moment. There are some things to consider about how to forgive. First, see the other person as a wounded being, and feel compassion for their woundedness. From that place of compassion, forgive.

Second, learn to do a self-appraisal, look honestly at your negative behavior. Determine if you got the ball rolling or if you do the very thing for which you are resentful. In these cases, let go of your resentment; forgive and let it go. Apologize if it is indicated.

Third, accept that the other person is incapable of giving you what you want. For whatever reason, they cannot meet your expectations. Accept that about them and let it go; forgive. This brings up the issue of expectations. When you expect things from others, it is a set up to be disappointed and resentful when they do not meet those expectations. Watch for that, and try not to expect anything. Then, when good things happen, you can be surprised.

Let’s turn our attention to longing for the “good old days.” Many people spend a lot of time in the unproductive and sadness-producing activity of wishing things were like they used to be. They lament that those days are gone. The danger is that, when you do this, you are not living in the present moment where the gifts of life reside. You make yourself miserable.

It is nice to have fond memories of the past and to long for them to return is a danger signal to your happiness if you spend your time wishing things were different than they are in current day. Accept that those days are gone and instead of lamenting, choose to make today the best possible. Get involved in new activities to create more “good old days.”

Living in the past is non-productive, a waste of time and energy no matter what the reason. Visit the past for the purpose of healing from it and otherwise, don’t live in it. Learn to live in the moment.

How are you living in the past? Are you feeling guilty, resentful, or longing for days gone by? Take a look at those things and realize you are making yourself miserable. You have a choice to stop living in the past. Make it. : )

 

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Living in the Past Prevents You From Moving Forward

Hi and good morning, all! I hope you had a very nice Easter. Today’s search that caught my eye was “living in the past and my expectations keep me from moving forward.” So let’s take a look at these two things.

Often, when you are living in the past, you are looking back with guilt or resentment over an incident, or you are longing for those “better days.” In all three cases, you are not served, you are unable to move forward with your life. You are prevented from living in the present moment, which is where the gift of life resides. Let’s look at each one of these points separately.

When you are in guilt, you regret your actions or behaviors in the past and beat yourself up over them again and again. I say with all gentleness, this is a waste of your time and energy, an activity that affects your heart and your ability to love yourself. Loving yourself is necessary so you can truly love others in your life.

You did the very best you knew how to do with the tools you had at the time. If you had known better, you would have done better. I am not suggesting that you are not responsible for your actions, because you are. In the case where you harmed someone, you can take responsibility and apologize to them if to do so will not hurt them further.

Then, you can react with humility, recognizing that you are a human being and humans are prone to make mistakes. It is part of our nature. The real opportunity to living in the past by feeling guilty lies in the lesson you can learn from the whole affair. It lies in how you can grow as a person because of your actions.

Also, you do not know what the Universe has in store for the recipient of your wrong. Maybe they were the brunt of your error so they can heal from it and grow in ways you cannot understand. Maybe they are intended to be of service to someone else who suffers as they did. You do not know.

And maybe the Universe is trying to teach you humility. You do not know. The best to be done when you feel guilty and are living in the past is to forgive yourself, apologize when indicated, then learn and grow from the whole thing.

In the interest of keeping this post relatively short, I will continue tomorrow with the other two things that cause you to stay living in the past. Return tomorrow when I’ll discuss how to manage resentments and longing for the good old days.

Where in your life are you living in the past because you feel guilty? I invite you to apply some of the points I mentioned and forgive yourself.

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