Find Your Dream and Live with Acceptance

May 22, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Path of Acceptance

As you live in acceptance of your dream and fill yourself up with it, you will find life is easier. It will flow more easily, and you will be more at peace.

One of the ways to live in acceptance is to curb your expectations. Having expectations sets up a situation to fail, and if it does, you are left with disappointment, and sometimes that is bitter.

Instead, consider that everything happens for a divine reason and go with the flow of that. It may seem illogical or out-of-synch with your desires, but maybe there is something better coming your way.

When you live in acceptance of your life, it is easier to live in acceptance of your dream. Remember, your dream is your soul speaking to you, urging you to follow those desires.

Today, consider your life as it is, take action where appropriate, and live in acceptance of the day, just this day.

 

 

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Living a Life of Acceptance

March 19, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Path of Acceptance

Our level of acceptance is directly proportional to the amount of serenity and peace that we experience. The more we are able to accept our life, others, and ourselves as they are, the more serenity we will have. Our sobriety will be that much stronger.

I used to think that acceptance meant giving up in defeat… accepting things, but with an attitude of defeat. After a few years of sobriety, I learned that acceptance is not like that. It is a joyous action we take, a conscious choice we choose. 

When we are accepting of our lives, ourselves, and others, things flow as smoothly as the moss on the stairs in the picture above. In order to experience this, we must first become willing to accept.

How do we become willing? We reason that there is nothing we can do to change a situation, and when that thought hits home, it will then resonate with our heart.

This assumes, of course, that we have already taken action on anything we determine requires action. But we do not push. There is a fine line between taking action and pushing. Taking action will flow smoothly, like the Universe is with us. When pushing, we will run into resistance of all sorts.

After we become willing to accept situations that are beyond our control, we direct our attention to things in front of us to do, things that are our business, not another’s. We engage in our task. Then, we go to the next task, then the next, and so forth.

If we practice this enough, we will soon notice that we are graced with the ability to live in that space of acceptance. We become adept at looking at a situation, assessing our actions and behaviors as they relate to the situation, and owning anything that was unkind or disrespectful to another.

Then, we feel clean about how we responded in that situation, and we move forward to determining if there is any action to be taken to improve or complete the situation. We take that action. Then, we wait to see what happens, while turning our attention to our affairs.

The point here is that we learn how to live our lives within the larger space around us which is life happening. We center, or anchor, ourselves within the fray of our lives and we objectively acknowledge it for what it is. We start from that point to reach acceptance through the process I described above.

Today, how well do you practice acceptance in your life? Be as objective as you can while you honestly look at this. Remember, the more you can practice acceptance, the more serenity and peace you will have, and your sobriety will become easier. 

 

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Acceptance Leads to Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem

March 5, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Acceptance of Self

Now that we have learned to forgive others and ourselves, we are ready to accept ourselves, which boots our self-confidence and self-esteem. We are traveling on the path of acceptance of self.

We have completed our performance appraisal, our self-appraisal, and we are now ready to make right any wrongs we have done. We want to do this so we can feel self-confidence, self-esteem. This will help us stay sober and get to emotional peace.

Along the path of accepting ourselves so that we may experience self-confidence and esteem, we may reflect upon who we were in our early days, when we had confidence, had a positive esteem. We may have been children then; I was. At least, I glean from my pictures of the era that I was a happy child when I was about three.

And I ask you, “Have we really changed throughout the years, or do we merely hold within our heart and mind and soul the essence of who we are, while our physical form changes? Can we recapture the delightful being we have always been, as we allow and celebrate our strengths, our flaws, and our spirit?”

What if the only change we’ve experienced throughout the years is an assault on our being by others, and then by ourselves, so much so that the self-confidence and esteem we had as a child have eroded away? And what if our being is waiting for us to reclaim who we are, with great self-confidence and self-esteem? 

So, how can we begin to fulfill the wishes of our being, to stop playing small, to step into who we are at our core? We just take action. We look at what is behind our playing small, our lack of confidence and esteem. If it is old messages that denigrate us, we know that those were lies, said by a spiritually sick person. We can think differently now about those disparaging remarks.

Then we practice honesty, and look at all our traits, both positive and negative. In other words, we do a performance appraisal. We apply compassion to the negative traits, and then set them aside, knowing that we have displayed our humanness. We focus on our positive traits, and we become humble, thanking Source for all the gifts which have been bestowed upon us.

And we begin to believe that Source gave us those gifts with the intention that we share them with the world around us. That means playing small no longer will work, and we must step into our full being, with confidence and esteem. We don’t want to flaunt, and practicing humility will counter that tendency.

All we want to do is to celebrate the talents and gifts we have been given and humbly present them to the world around us. When we do this, our self-confidence and esteem will rise. Staying sober will become easier and more desirable. We will become more accepting of ourselves. We will be that much closer to emotional peace and serenity.

Today, practice stepping into all that you are. Accept who you are at your very core. Apply compassion for being human. Identify your special gifts and talents, and celebrate them with your world. Bring back that self-confidence and esteem that have been absent from your life for so long… Accept yourself at a deep level of knowingness…

 

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Accept Our Path In Life

January 24, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Path of Acceptance

Path of Acceptance

“When we become entwined with our path, the steps become as soft as velvet, and the ascent flows smoothly.”

Such is the case when we accept our path in life, accept our path on a daily basis. Often, we resist what is being shown to us as our true path and, as a result, life is difficult and we encounter many barriers, many obstacles. It just seems as if everything goes wrong.

On the other hand, when we tune into our path, take action on the things which come across our path that feed our soul, and further our dreams and goals, the Universe responds in like kind and moves us along smoothly, with little effort.

It’s hard to describe the wonderful feeling that occurs when we accept our path in life, for it is truly amazing. Things just fall into place and all we have to do is take that first step, follow where our path is leading us.

It takes trust in that power greater than us, that we are being guided to a safe and appropriate place, and it takes willingness to follow where we are being led. If we believe in our higher power, we can relax and do the work that comes across our path to do.

If we accept our lives as they are, even if we don’t like it, it makes our lives that much more easy to deal with, to cope with. We will know peace and we can easily maintain our sobriety. If we continually rail against or resist “what is,” we will continually know strife. 

Today, notice the times when your actions lead effortlessly to a positive result, one that is in line with your goals, your aspirations. Notice that when you accept what is going on in your life, even if you don’t like it, life flows smoothly. 

 

 

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Acceptance of Ourselves As We Are

January 11, 2012 by 2 Comments

We continue to move on in my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, as we work our way to sobriety and inner peace.

Acceptance of Self

Acceptance of Self

We have come to Acceptance of Self. “Have we really changed throughout the years, or do we merely hold within our heart and mind and soul the essence of who we are, while our physical form changes?

“Can we recapture the delightful being we have always been, as we allow and celebrate our strengths, our flaws, and our spirit?”

I firmly believe that each of us has a truly delightful soul that has often become over-ridden by the hurt and pain we have endured throughout the course of our lives. Our response to these experiences is to close up, to protect ourselves, sometimes treating others or ourselves badly.

In the process of doing that, we forget that we have that delightful soul and spirit that awaits our recognition. Or, perhaps, we focus on our flaws and, so, see ourselves as “less than,” or unworthy.

At some point, we have to just give up, surrender, our negative thoughts about ourselves and celebrate our humanness – celebrate who we are in our soul. We have to gain acceptance of who we are. For in our soul is a good being, if only we can recognize this.

Our efforts need to be focused on our positive points. That is not to say we ignore our flaws, which we all have because we’re human. But we have in place a method for dealing with the hurts we cause others and ourselves through our flaws. It is the self-appraaisal which we discussed a few blogs back. We need to practice doing an appraisal and amends, as appropriate, on a daily basis.

Once we are clean with others, we turn our attention to ourselves. We forgive ourselves for our transgressions, and we just accept ourselves as we are. I say that like it’s easy, but it is not. The key is willingness to let go of our negative beliefs and treatment of ourselves, allowing that delightful spirit to emerge. We surrender to who we are at our core.

When we do these things, we will find a deep and abiding peace, and we will be that much more able to stay sober.

For today, allow your spirit, your soul, to emerge. Clean up ragged relationships with others and yourself. Then, just give up and accept yourself as you are, knowing that, in your soul, you are a valuable human being.

 

 

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Accepting What Is Can Bring You Peace

December 9, 2011 by 2 Comments
Path of Acceptance

Path of Acceptance

“When we become entwined with our path, the steps become as soft as velvet, and the ascent flows smoothly.” Ah, the result of accepting what is… a life that flows.

I used to think that accepting what is was giving up, failing, a resignation, defeat, and I would walk away from letting things be with shame.

Then at some point, I began to realize the difference between acceptance of life as it was, and giving up or letting go with shame and defeat. Letting go in acceptance can be a pleasant feeling.

Acceptance is a place you can get to by saying to yourself that you have done all you can do in any given situation, and now it is time to let the powers that be do the work, let flow the results. You can let go with grace.

Acceptance does have a component of action to it, because if there is something which can be done in a situation, you must take that action. Then, leave the outcome alone and don’t try to force it.

When the outcome is known, understand that this is how things are and there is nothing more you can do to change the situation. Humbly accept that this is how things are going to be, and go on about your day without regrets.

When you can do this, and not feel defeated, there is a great deal of peace to be gained, as you are not expending your energy trying to change everything to your liking. You just trust and believe that things are working out as they are intended to be, even if you don’t see the reason right now.

Accepting what is does not mean you have to like what is happening; you just admit that that’s how things are going right now. Then, you pay attention to whether or not some action is required on your part and you take that action.

How are you at accepting what is? Do you push against what is happening, such that you are uncomfortable? How do you reach acceptance? Leave a comment and let us know…

 

 

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How to Live a Life of Serenity

October 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Balance of Serenity

“I am serene, carried by the winds to places where I am held in balance with great beauty and strength.” These are the words in my book that are paired with this photograph. They so beautifully describe today’s topic – serenity.

Webster defines serenity as the state of being serene, which is defined as not disturbed or troubled, calm, peaceful, tranquil. These are all descriptions which aptly describe the feeling when you experience serenity.

Have you experienced it? It is a feeling that envelopes you with all good things. When serene, you can float through life’s challenges, accepting of what occurs as you go through your day.

It is a place that I, as a person in sobriety, wish to be because I don’t get agitated and want to drink to dissolve that agitation. It is a place that I, as a compassionate being, wish for others to experience because it is such a luscious feeling.

When experiencing serenity, you are more accepting of what is occurring in your life, and you’re able to think more clear-headedly. This is such a valuable benefit of being serene. 

How do you get to serenity? Well, you make the decision to be accepting of things that are occurring in your life. You feel your emotions, not numbing them or keeping them at bay, but experiencing them and then going forward with acceptance. You find the courage to take action when necessary to keep yourself safe. 

Serenity happens when you follow this simple serenity prayer… “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

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Accepting Your Path in Life Leads to Peace

September 21, 2011 by 2 Comments

When you are accepting of your path in life, things move along smoothly, gracefully. It’s as if you flow from one thing to the next. ”When we become entwined with our path, the steps become as soft as velvet, and the ascent flows smoothly.”

This is different than being resigned to the flow of life. When resigned, there is an attitude of defeat. You are battling to make things go a certain way. Often, you are angry or bitter, blaming the situation for any feelings of unrest you may have.

Path of Acceptance

When I became sober, I accepted what was going on around me, but I was resigned with defeat. It was a very heavy feeling. Somewhere along the way, things changed for me and I began to gracefully accept that things were as they should be in the Divine world. I had finally gotten to the realization that when there was nothing I could do to change something, then accepting it became the softer and easier way. 

I am not saying that you should resign yourself to a situation if there is something you can do to change it. On the contrary, you can take action to try and change something. But when your actions do not impact the situation, when you keep hitting a wall, then it is time to gracefully accept what is happening.

Acceptance also applies to your feelings. If you can accept what you are feeling at any given time, then it is easier to flow through those emotions, and to heal if that is what is needed. So often, we ignore or discount or deny our feelings and that just intensifies them. Again, the easier softer way is acceptance of them. 

To reach acceptance, perhaps it is helpful for you to pray or to meditate. This helps you let go of the way you want something to turn out, and allows the Divine to work in your life. If you then feel sad or hurt over the results,m then accept that also. If you do, that emotion will pass more quickly. It is helpful in accepting your path in life to just let go, to surrender, to accept. It leads to peace.

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How to Deal With Self-Doubt

July 8, 2010 by 1 Comment

Shadows of Doubt

I am mired again in the shadows of my dount, my fear.

I circle and circle and circle around the stones of my heart, caged, unable to pass through to the place where my heart is bathed in light.

When we doubt ourselves, our actions, and our beliefs about who we are, we erode our self-esteem, our self-confidence, and our very soul. If we know that doubting ourselves leads to these things, why do we do it?

Perhaps it is a reflection, an indicator, of our state of self-worth, our value to self and to the world. With low esteem and confidence levels, we are not stable enough, not strong enough, in who we are to ward off self-doubt. It erodes our very being even further. We question everything we do, perhaps always looking to others for validation rather than to ourselves, or to a power greater than ourselves.

How do we conquer this, this insidious doubt?  Perhaps it begins with a self-appraisal in which we identity the ways in which we doubt ourselves. If we can identify that, we then have a change to correct or change it. In doing the self-searching, it is necessary to be really honest with ourselves, to admit that the way we fell about ourselves is not honest. For if we were honest, we would see that we are delightful beings, fine just the way we are. We are enough as we are.

If, however, we see that we are doubting ourselves inappropriately, we can make the choice to change our beliefs. How do we do this? By recognizing and admitting each time we doubt, and examining if it is true. When we admit the doubt is false, then we consciously make the choice to change that doubt into a positive statement or affirmation about ourselves. Over time, with diligence, we begin to see our doubts diminish and our esteem and confidence rise. We begin to accept ourselves as we are, making changes when we feel it’s necessary. In this process, it is important to be kind, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves.

How do you deal with doubt when it arises? Do you see this method as being useful?

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Are Your Dreams Coming True?

May 19, 2010 by 7 Comments

Fulfillment of Dreams

“I am waking up from a lifetime of sleeping and am just beginning to learn to play, to fill my sails and dance across the shimmering waters. I am fulfilling dreams I have held in my heart forever that I did not know and, so, could not follow.”

I have learned that if I hold my dreams in my heart, and practice my passions, one day my dreams just seem to materialize, out of nowhere. That is the case with becoming a photographer. I wanted to be one in the late 70′s and took action at that time. I was trying to relinquish my nursing career and replace it with a career in photography.  But nothing panned out…

Nonetheless, I engaged in my passion all those years and one day in 2006, the opportunity presented itself to be a photographer. I was amazed the opportunity showed up after all of that time. I quietly and with excitement stepped into that role.

I have dreams about my book, the way in which I would like it to be received by the world. I continue to keep that dream in my heart alive and who knows? Perhaps it will materialize. We never know what might happen. I have learned that in sobriety. It takes faith and trust that my heart’s desires will be met in some manner.

I think it gets down to, what is in my best interest and in my highest good? That seems to be what eventually comes about for me. It seems that is what I am brought by the powers of the Universe.

So, I live life, patiently continuing with my efforts, accepting where things are along the journey, taking action to move forward. And I wonder if someday, I will see a dream fulfilled. Then, I focus my attention on what is right in front of me to do, and I move forward, moment by moment, day by day.

May you keep your dreams alive in your heart and may they be fulfilled one day.

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How Do We Learn To Accept What Is?

April 30, 2010 by 10 Comments

Path of Acceptance

“When we become entwined with our path, the steps become as soft as velvet and the ascent flows smoothly.”

Path of Acceptance

I find it most interesting that on the days I am to blog, I often experience issues related to my blogging topic. For example, today I am blogging about loving what is, and I am struggling with acceptance that I have been scheduled to work tomorrow.

It is a new job for me and I do not really like it, do not really do very well at it, but am trying to let the newness of the job wear off and see where that leads. Meanwhile, I really needed today and tomorrow off to deal with my book and to re-establish my energy for the job. Emotionally, I am having difficulty accepting what is.

So, where do I go in this situation to get to the grace of acceptance? It used to be that when I accepted something, it felt more like a failure and a giving up. It wasn’t acceptance; it was utter resignation. There was a definite negativity about it.

In today’s world, in my sober world, I have gained tools to look at the situation differently. I have the skill to look at how my feelings of resistance are because I am not getting my own way. Ah ha! So, I recognize that my attitude is somewhat childish.

At first, I tried to get out of my Saturday shift, relayed to my supervisor that I was already scheduled for the day at my other job, which is true to the extent that I schedule myself as a self-employed person. That was met with disapproval. So, it’s the shift or my job.

One part of me wants to let the job go, but I will give it more time, as I really need it and it’s based on strong and ethical practices and services. So, what are my choices in this situation? Ah, I have choices… That’s something I’ve learned in sobriety.

My first choice is my attitude. I am the only one who can change that. A change for me does not come from my external situation these days; it comes from within. And it’s a conscious choice. In this case, I can be sullen and mildly angry when I return tomorrow, in other words, pout. Or, I can accept that things are as they are, that I elect not to change the situation by quitting.

I do that by looking with gratitude at what I have. I have a job that is badly needed. My skills at this job are increasing. I am helping children to read. I am grateful for all of these things. Suddenly, my heart softens and I am graced with acceptance, even as I type this.

I now have a second choice to make and, actually, I made it yesterday. I elected to take action about the situation, to avoid it’s reoccurrence in the future. I made that conscious decision to act instead of complaining about the situation, which is how I used to handle things. Complain, complain, but not do anything to change things. I waited for everything and everyone else around me to change. It doesn’t happen that way, I’ve learned. My action was this: I left a note for my supervisor clarifying my hours of availability for each week and invited her to call me to discuss the issue.

I can graciously and humbly appear at work tomorrow. I have accepted what is. Thank you for sharing in my process of gaining that acceptance. Now my ascent flows smoothly again. How is your ascent flowing? Is it smooth?

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