Pillar of Strength
“Perhaps, rather than thinking I must make my morals, truth and integrity match another’s, I can determine what resonates with my own heart. When it does, I have the strength of a pillar.”
This is the verse from the book for this image. As I write it, I am struck with the part about making my morals and truth match another’s. I have struggled with this throughout my lifetime.
I learned it was necessary to determine what someone wanted of me, who they wanted me to be, and then to be that person, to give them what they wanted. Consequently, I became something other than myself in many ways. I became a people pleaser and would do so, even at cost to myself. Especially at cost to myself.
This thought process has died a slow death. Only in the past couple of years, have I begun to figure out exactly who I am, what I believe in, what my truth is. It has happened as my spirituality has grown. I noticed one day recently that I am being a person with my own truth, integrity and morals. It is wonderful to have realized that… very freeing. How did it happen? How does it continue to happen?
I don’t know for sure. I do know it has happened because I maintained my sobriety. All I seem to do is to show up for my life every day, doing the next thing that is in front of me to do, taking action when indicated. I have been blessed with courage to walk through my fear, especially to be who I am. I have found it helped, and helps, to ask for help from a power greater than myself, whatever that is called.
It has been a process that has occurred over time. It has happened as my awareness has deepened as I become more able to “hear” my heart. It has been a journey through the gates about which I am blogging. What has resonated with your heart? I welcome your comments.
I would like to address the people who found my site yesterday by googling about worthlessness. If you have come back, I would like to offer these words. Take heart, continue on your journey with all the courage you can muster. It is possible to move past feelings of worthlessness, at least, that has been my experience. Go step-by-step, day-by-day. Know that what you have learned about who you are is not your truth, does not serve your higher good. I wish you well in your search and I am hopeful the gates will be of use as you continue your process of healing.