How Honest Are You?

As you can see, this gate’s image is Welds of Honesty. It was named this because when we are honest with ourselves about who and what we are, we become as strong as the weld on the gate. 

What do I mean when I say “… honest about who and what we are?” We frequently shy away from looking at our own behavior as the start of a feud or disagreement, etc, because we’re so busy blaming the other person. Right at that point is when we need to stop and do some serious self-investigation. 

Take a look at anything you might have said or done such that another is offended. Did they then do something to hurt you back as retaliation against your action, and you resent them for what they did? Take a look at this and determine if it fits your situation. If so, claim responsibility for what you said or did. Be humbled… not ashamed, not embarrassed. Rather, speak to the person and relay what you discovered upon your self-reflection. Then apologize as you would do any time you know you have hurt another. 

The key in honesty and in forging your strength and empowerment is to look at yourself first. Always. Look for ways you were hurtful, unkind, unloving, and maybe even mean. When you can own up to this behavior, you are free of self-judgment, as you realize this is you being a human being. The key is to learn from it and not repeat it, yet, if you do, you can catch it again. 

I end this piece with the statement that we set ourselves free and become highly empowered when we are honest as I described above. This is because we have seen ourselves at our worst and we know how to correct it. There is great power in knowing this. We know how to be a more kind and loving person.

I wish you well on your journey to be like the weld on the gate of honesty.  



  1. Hi Joan, May sincerest apologies for not responding to this comment in August. I just discovered it!

    You are in a difficult situation with your brother. All you can do is determine what your truth is and let go of his. He may choose to look at his truth one day, yet, I wouldn’t hold my breath. How important is it for you to remain connected on anything but a superficial level? It sounds like you’re trying to swim upstream…? And I con only imagine how the political stuff gets in the way!

  2. Hi Lilli! I am so sorry for the delay in responding. I wasn’t notified by WordPress there was a comment! Yikes! I know of no other way to get to the blog than to go thru the website, so I’ll check with my webmaster. I was sorry I had a conflict on Forgiveness Day. I’m so glad to hear it was very inspirational! Simple is good… :)) Have a wonderful holiday!!! Maybe in lieu of me coning to the group meetings (as I can’t seem to get to them), you’d like to do coffee somewhere. Let me know… :))

  3. Lillian Kocher says:

    A great blog CJ. Is there a way to receive it directly or must one go to your site and click blog? Haven’t seen you for a while and miss you. Forgiveness Day this year was one of the best. Simpler. More direct. Very inspirational. Xoxo

  4. Joan Silva says:

    I need to do this with my brother. We are at odds with each other … many reasons behind that AND many I can justify as perfectly sane on my part. He is not an easy man to stay connected with, we are so different about beliefs and such. It has put a wedge between us, the political arena especially. Your blog made me wonder if there has been truth between us. hmmm.

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