How to Conduct a Self-Appraisal

Good morning! I hope your day is filled with lightness and joy. Today the search term I want to address is conducting a self-appraisal. This is a look at ourselves, a performance evaluation if you will, and it has great benefit.

The purpose of a self-appraisal is to determine how we are coming across in the world. It is a way to assure we are treating ourselves and others with kindness, tolerance, and respect. Many believe that this is an exercise designed to beat ourselves up, but that is not the true way to do a self-appraisal. Let’s look at another way to do one.

The first thing to do when conducting a self-appraisal is to identify all of our positive points. List out in writing all of the things that we like about ourselves, all the things that others say are positive about us.

We study this list to praise ourselves and to realize that we are good people at our core. We don’t do it to brag or flaunt our positive points. Rather, we are humble about our goodness and we see our positive points as gifts.

Next, we take a block of time – a week, two weeks, or a month – and list out all of the positive things we did during that time period. We are looking at all of the positive actions and behaviors we performed during this time period. We are not braggarts in this exercise, nor are we demeaning or disregarding of our behavior and actions. Once these positive points are identified, we sit with them, being with them, allowing them to sink into our consciousness and awareness.

Then, to continue our self-appraisal, we turn our attention to our negative and less-than-desireable actions and behaviors. This is done in a fact-finding fashion. In other words, we do not identify these things so we can beat ourselves up or feel guilt and remorse, although these may surface.

When we identify our negative points, our poor behaviors – and we all have them – we resolve to be responsible for our behavior by owning it. To own it, we first become aware and conscious of it, then we do whatever is necessary to change it. This part of the self-appraisal involves either apologizing for our actions or resolving to not repeat the behavior. We do not apologize if it will be hurtful to another; we simply change our behavior.

We are totally honest in this part of the self-appraisal, not cutting ourselves slack or giving excuses for our bad behavior and actions. The point is to shine the light of consciousness and awareness on them. Once we have done this, we own it, as I said above.

Bad behavior includes gossip, by the way, as this is spiritual assassination of another. We stop engaging in this behavior as a way to apologize to the one we denigrated. Often, we have done something that was mean to another, they reacted in a predictable, human way, and we are now resentful of their response to our meanness. If this is the case for us, we let go of the resentment and apologize, if it’s appropriate.

The benefits of a self-appraisal are that we feel more peace, more freedom of mind and heart. We become more gentle, tolerant, and respectful of people. Inside, the feelings we have for ourselves improve, become stronger and more positive.

I cannot say enough how freeing doing a self-appraisal is. We will be amazed at the benefits we experience. It will make us better people, less angry and bitter toward others In fact, the article I wrote on going from anger to forgiveness spells out the entire process and is something you will want to read. You can get it by leaving your name and email to the right. So leave them now and you will receive the article, which will further this process of the self-appraisal.

Armed now with the way to do a self-appraisal, we can now enjoy the peace and freedom we experience.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Like Louise I like the idea that the postive comes first, other wise I’d get so wrapped in the negative I wouldn’t move past it. If and when the negatives starts to bring you down you can pick up all the positives that had been written down and remind yourself, you’re not all that bad.

    Jean
    Gratitude Coach

  2. Hey, I did actually reply yesterday, dam gremlins ate it! I like this I kind of do this ongoing anyway in my life on a day to day basis! If I feel I acted badly I stop and have a sense of why that may be and of ocurse forgive myself and look at how I can do better. Thanx for sharing Jakeb

  3. Great article! I find when we do this – both the positive and negative self appraisal – looking at what we see with non-judgment helps a lot. “It is what it is” sort of attitude helps us to accept these aspects of ourselves much better and makes it easier to take full responsibility for our lives. And it helps us look at others with less judgment as well. The more we love ourselves the more love we have to share. Thanks for writing this great article Carolyn!

  4. What an amazing idea! I can see how this detailed assessment will really help someone not only be accountable but feel freed!

  5. Not an easy thing to do! But sometimes, it’s what we need. Our internal “Tower” moment has come, when this need arises. Never easy, but necessary to clear the decks and get rid of what no longer works. Doing it internally is often much harder than doing it physically.

    Thanks for the thoughts πŸ™‚

  6. I like that you do the positives first. However, I suspect that many find that harder than the negatives πŸ™‚ Nice post Carolyn!

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