Forgiveness Is a Process

Good morning to each and every one of you that visits today. May your day be filled with joy! Today we’re going to start a series about forgiveness… starting with the things you may feel that you cannot forgive, on through how to open your hearts, and finally, how to get to forgiveness and the peace and freedom that brings.

I am shifting gears here because, actually, forgiveness is what I’m all about. For me, it’s about an attitude of forgiveness…extending it, living it. Let’s start this discussion by talking about the things for which you likely cannot forgive another. To start that discussion, let’s talk about how you were wronged.

You may have suffered abuse at the hands of another, or been on the receiving end of a marriage or relationship that went sour, and you may be angry about these things. That’s a typical response and quite justified. The thing is, what are you doing with that anger? Are you feeling it and moving on to the next step, moving forward from it, or are you stuck in it, wallowing in it, turning it into a resentment?

A resentment is merely anger that one feels again and again until it affects them in all areas of their life, until they are consumed by it. Usually, the person is very bitter and justifies their bitterness with the wrongness of what happened to them. They blame the other person for their unhappiness, their misery, and they may drink or drug over their pain.

Is this you? It was me… for 38 years. For 38 years I carried the anger and resentment against my parents for my upbringing, blaming them for my emotional pain. Never once, however, did I consider that it was my responsibility to find a way to heal that pain. Never once did I consider that I could even move on from that pain. Never once in all those years…

For 20 of those 38 years, I also had my husband to blame for my unhappiness, never once considering that if I was unhappy in the relationship, that I could leave. So I stayed and was miserable, and made his life miserable. And I drank extremely heavily.

Is what I’m saying ringing true for you? Are you, or were you, in similar situations? If so, let’s take a look at those situations… gently, with quietness. This is what my series will be about… looking at our attitudes, our angers and resentments, and the final step we will take is adopting an attitude of forgiveness.

But we are not there yet. Forgiveness is a process, and I hope you will come back as I take a close look at how to go through that process. It will be a gentle and nurturing guidance, I promise you that. So come back tomorrow for the next part of this discussion on forgiveness.


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