Forgiveness Is a Decision and An Emotional Change

Good morning! It is pre-dawn, and I am up and roaming about. I am surrounded by papers on my desk from my radio talk show yesterday afternoon. Oh, have I told you about it? Transform Into Forgiveness airs on the internet every Monday at 3 pm PST. Just go to, and when you get there, you will hear me live. I invite you to join me.

Yesterday on the show, I relayed a saying about learning that I found on Facebook which rang true for me. It was, “If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.” You keep coming back, so I take it you are determined to learn. That is marvelous! You are unstoppable and will reach your goal, whatever that may be.

Having said that, let’s continue our discussion from yesterday when I spoke about things you may be angry and resentful of that keep you from forgiving. The thing about forgiveness is, your anger is like poison that you are drinking. It harms you and the other person is untouched by it. Your anger gnaws at you, eating away from the inside out.

Did you know that medical research has shown that living in a state of forgiveness can lead to a decreased risk of heart disease, heart attack, and cancer? It is true, and so is the opposite, that living in anger, a state of un-forgiveness, leads to all these things. How marvelous that being forgiving, living in a state of forgiveness, can help to decrease your blood pressure, for example, or can lower your risk of getting cancer.

In fact, on January 2, 1998, ABC reported that “studies show that letting go of anger and resentment can reduce the severity of heart disease and in some cases, even prolong the lives of cancer patients.” That is powerful, don’t you think?! It presents a strong case for learning to forgive.

Forgiveness is both a decision and a real change in emotional experience. That change in emotion is related to better emotional and physical health. We decide that we are going to look at forgiving someone, and then we take the steps to do so. It’s like making the decision to look at your world from 180 degrees, from the opposite direction. You make this decision because the anger has consumed you and you are not willing to live with that anymore.

Think about the anger you hold and how it spills into everything you do… your personal relationships, your work and those relationships, your hobbies and pleasures. At what point is enough enough? At what point are you wanting to stop those effects of your anger and resentment and to have peaceful and loving relationships? What about today?

Join me tomorrow as I speak more about forgiveness and clarify what it is not.


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