What Is Communication That Promotes Peace?

“If we as individuals cannot speak to each other, how, then, can we as nations achieve peace?”

Perhaps the one thing that furthers peace in your world is the way in which you speak to people. So, what is communication? Sometimes, you are friendly and cheery, while other times, you are gruff and impatient, maybe even defensive.

What is going on inside you when you are cheery in your communication? Most likely, you are feeling good about yourself. But when you are feeling “less than,” fearful, or not good about yourself, do you communicate gruffly, with impatience, perhaps even lashing out at another and putting them down?

When I say what is communication, what I’m talking about is your ability to be honest and let another know when you are feeling afraid, or badly about yourself, instead of lashing out. So many times, I hear one person berating or criticizing another, and wonder how badly they must be feeling inside. That doesn’t excuse the berating and criticism, but it is a good chance to practice compassion for them.

So, how can you speak with respect and caring to another when you are angry or feeling poorly inside? Perhaps, just honestly letting the other know what you are feeling, stating simply, “I am angry,” “I am afraid of xyz right now,” or “I feel awful about myself.” The important thing is to own your feelings, rather than saying “You make me feel…”

These things are challenging to say to another, I know. It takes commitment and practice. Above all, it takes being in touch with your feelings in the moment. Perhaps you can make an agreement with a close person in your life whom you trust to practice speaking in this manner. Set the ground rules up front, getting an agreement from the other to not criticize you for what you are about to say.

Infusing your talk with positive and honest words gets you a long way to peace…  Practice being candid with someone about your feelings and see what happens. Did it avoid an argument? Did you feel better about yourself? Did it preserve peace?

 

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